Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our discussion forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 6 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
J
Administrator
Member
Offline
Administrator
Member
J
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
If YOU want help to learn to improve your future relationships I suggest READING ALL parts of this site.

Read the articles, get the books, listen to the tapes, read the forums.

But I can ASSURE you, the men & women on Marriage Builders do NOT need help from the OW.


JustUss

Administrator/Moderator
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 10,044
MEDC applauding the mods!

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
T
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
im doing that now

reading as much

i never wanna be in this place again

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 346
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 346
theOW,

I would suggest that if YOU have questions about YOUR situation that you want help with, start a thread and ask. Otherwise, reading would be your best bet.

Understandably, an OW giving ADVICE to BSs here will NOT be well received.

Please stop threadjacking the threads of others.

Maverick





Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
T
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
ok

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 346
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 346
Thank you. \:\)

Now, let's turn this thread back to helping HurtMomof2.

Maverick

Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 33
OW

Please do not try to reach out to me because you are wrong and wrong in so many ways...

there is nothing you can say or do to justify the damaged that has been done...some which you will pay for later in life.

if it smells like s%#@
looks like s&*^
then it must be S*&^


and that is exactly what you are feeding us...s*&^ . What you have done is morally and legally wrong you better pray that GOD forgives you on your judgement day. I know my husband wants forgiveness...trying to go to church every week now since I found out ...it will not work. They say that god will forgive us for our sins but this for him will probably a tough one for him to even swallow.

Please stop commenting on this site until you come to real terms with what you have done. Take full responsibility not partial and I hope you have found away to apologize to the mans wife and gave her closure to this situation. You at least owe her that to her and her family! You stole precious moments her life that she cannot even account for.

Your are selfish and are looking for a BS to forgive you. You need to be asking the woman whose life you destroyed for forgiveness that will be your best place to start to truly show you have learned your lesson. Write her a letter!


BS
WH-(to old to know better)
COM- 2 DS (toddlers)
DDay- 4/28/08
OC- NC
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,701
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 1,701
BIG BRAVO to the mods!

To the {{{{{BW}}}}} who started this thread:
Pepperband's advice sounds good IMHO.
Get your legal ducks in a row to protect yourself and your children. Don't make the mistake of assuming your WH and/or the OW will never try to take from your children what is rightfully theirs.

To the OW:
Your need to pretend that you have no blame whatsoever in what you chose to do is IMHO disgustingly delusional.
Yes, the WH is responsible for his part, and no doubt there are some problems in their marriage (um ALL marriages are imperfect after all, right? That seems to be YOUR favorite excuse for justifying YOUR PART in adultery participation, eh?)...
but pretending you were simply a victim (of persistent flirting?) is pretty lame.
You could and should have informed his wife that he was flirting with you.
Instead YOU CHOSE to allow him to keep flirting with you and then YOU CHOSE to REWARD his flirting by having sex with him.
You are not a victim.

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 242
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 242
I can't help myself. This was such a great example of OW thinking.


For all those who feel a BW should accept OC in their lives if they want to keep there marriage.........would really condemn a BW and COM to having this OW around her H and her marriage in joint custody???

She barely cares about what she did to the BW by having twins by her H. She says she owns her part, but that is clearly not true. Encouraging BW not to spend their energy on anger towards the OW is ridiculous. She did a despicable thing and had children to cap it off! H's get their share of anger, OW deserve theirs, as well. It is not wasted energy.

This OW is not atypical, and sadly she is certainly not even close to the worst. This attitude is pervasive amoung OW, but the additional entitlement and victimhood makes them unbearable.

OC's come as a package deal with OW. No way around that. To say someone must accept the package if they want to save their marriage is naive.


BW
DDay March 2004
OC born 8-04
NC
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 36
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 36
isn't it about the children?

don't the deserve both parents - really the H is in the middle - he had a wife and a ow and sex with both.

how do you blame only one person?

Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
T
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
T
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 13
continuous thank u

the man is the main 1

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
 Originally Posted By: Maverick_mb
theOW,

I would suggest that if YOU have questions about YOUR situation that you want help with, start a thread and ask. Otherwise, reading would be your best bet.

Understandably, an OW giving ADVICE to BSs here will NOT be well received.

Please stop threadjacking the threads of others.

Maverick




Thank you justuss and maverick!


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
 Originally Posted By: continuous
isn't it about the children?

don't the deserve both parents - really the H is in the middle - he had a wife and a ow and sex with both.

how do you blame only one person?
The BW and the COM come first. Unfortunately the parents (MM/OW) set the OC up to have either no father or a part time father by having an adulterous relationship.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
J
Administrator
Member
Offline
Administrator
Member
J
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,816
the OW

You've been asked as nicely and politely as possible.

continuous-----the same advice as previously to the OW given goes to you also!

Last warning---

This is a MARRIAGE BUILDERS website!!!!!!!!!


JustUss

Administrator/Moderator
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 347
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 347
If you were to read the OW's words without looking at her title, they really can be a look into another person's mind.

Speaking for me... there were definite times when I wanted to "know" what the OW knew or felt. Here's a golden opportunity. Not the right place, I know.. but if you truly wish to help, theOW..then look around. There are places for it and maybe you'll make your situation into a lesson for others.

Blessings,

Eibrab

Last edited by Eibrab; 08/28/08 07:48 PM.
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
OW, Don't you DARE say anything about our R with our H and why and what we need to pay attention to and work on!

How would you even know what any of our marriages are like????

It's self-centered, selfish people like you that come into our lives and wreck havoc. You really have NO IDEA how much pain you cause us all!

I asked you once to stay off this board. I don't know why you keep posting, you must be getting some kind of thrill out of it!

Once more.......Get the [censored] off this board!!!!!!!!! I'd like to reach through cyberspace and kick your fat A*S!!

My brother is a software engineer and can have your URL by the morning. Is that what you want?


Me: BS-37
WH: 39
OC born 6/08
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 4,652
{{{hurtmom}}}

How is your knee??? What did the dr. say? Have you gotten the STD test results back yet?

topic->hurtmom


me - 47 tired
H - 39 cool
married 2001
DS 8a think
DS 8b :crosseyedcrazy:
(Why is DS7b now a blockhead???)
(Ack! Now he's not even a blockhead, just a word! That's no fun!)
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
Hi! Thanks for asking, My knee is just awful, but I am getting around the best way I can for now with the brace they gave me.

Dr. gave me Percocet for the pain........those yhings knock you on your butt!

I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon Tuesday. I will have the surgery for the ligaments first, and while he's in there, he'll look at the fracture and see if I need a cast.

No, I didn't get the test results back yet. Probably next week.

I did something bad today that really felt good. I had H car today, I knew there was a picture of him and OW in the glove compartment (Had searched his car earlier) I drove to my Mother's house to visit with her and my brother.

I showed her the picture to my mother and she said (WOW! She does look like a Lesbo-not pretty at all) I laughed. I then took a lighter and went to the curb and burned the picture till there was nothing left but a black stain on the road. It felt so good to watch her face burn away like that (him too)

So, I actually had a pretty good afternoon. Also went for a ride to the store with my Dad on his motorcycle-that's always fun!

How are you doing?


Me: BS-37
WH: 39
OC born 6/08
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 173
Hey Guys! Nothing from OW poster today...........do you think I scared her away? \:D


Me: BS-37
WH: 39
OC born 6/08
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Hopefully the mods permanently took care of OW. Hurtmom, doesn't it feel good to do something like that? Burning that picture was very symbolic and empowering. Good for you! Sorry about your kneee.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Page 6 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (1 invisible), 20 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mwid, Shepherd, alg, Pelican89, SRL
71,672 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,526
Posts2,322,544
Members71,673
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2020, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.  |  Web Development by SunStar Media.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5