2 checks I have been shorted on my "half" because he overdrew the account. I plan on going to ask the state for help this week and I'm hoping that it makes me "accidently" have to file for child support.

He has a gig tomorrow and I know the OW will be there. I'm very tempted to show up and sit there and smile and make them all as uncomfortable as humanly possible. The OW has refused to face me so far. I want her to look me in the eye and tell her side of the story. I'm sure there isn't much fruit that can come from it, but I really want to do it.

Any thoughts about that plan? Is it a good idea, or really stupid?

"My husband is a highly functioning alcoholic. "

Nothing will work with him. I can tell you that right now. Why did you marry this man again??? Why create kids with him?

I read your whole story. I think you accidently picked a bad man to marry and have children with.

Sadly, You chose WRONG..... Unfortunatly.

You needed a family man, one who would be true to you and WANT to have (and raise) a family. Instead you met and married an alcoholic, a band member, who loves messing with other women, and who does not have much regular money to support a family.

Then, you started making babies with this man. Wow what a mistake.

If I were you I would get supportive counseling to find out how to hone up your own judgement so that you recognize toxic people and can keep them out of your life and keep them from ruining your life.

Find a way to make it with the kids and forget depending on him, but get whatever child support you can.

Next time I think you will learn to recognize the true character of a man before becoming involved with him.

He wasn't like that. He's always like beer, but not like in recent years. I got pregnant with our first child, then we both became christians. We decided to get married when DS#1 was 1 year. He played on the worship team and was a good father/husband. 3 years ago he started playing in a christian rock band that required him to travel 2 hours every weekend for practice. He would stay gone the whole weekend then come home. After a year of that he declared that "he needs to make a decision to move us all to portland for our spiritual growth". The good supportive wife that I am said, sure! I was tired of always being apart from him. Shortly after we got here the band started to implode. They were having all kinds of pride and control issues. March of last year they kicked him out because he made it clear to them that he was only in it to "make it" and he had started drinking a lot. After his expulsion, he started to drink more and more and more. He joined the new secular band and then declared that he was no longer a christian and didn't want to be married anymore. It appeared to me that he was having an EA with his singer. I went into plan A and got stuck there. I couldn't get him to quit the band because he denied there was any kind of problem. He just changed his mind, but I knew everything was still messed up, but he just denied it and called me paranoid every time I would bring it up. I was pregnant with twins and then just had new babies and really wanted to believe everything was ok so I just let him sweep it under the rug.

I know, it just breaks my heart. I made a vow to God and I just feel like I can't break it. The bible says that a man who puts away his wife makes her an adultress.

"I made a vow to God and I just feel like I can't break it"

So, you feel you vowed to God you would stay married??? Even if this man was not God's plan for you? God is not that mean that he would hold you to YOUR OWN BAD CHOICES!

You chose the husband, not God.

Hey, what can you lose, get a legal separation and if you dont believe in Divorce, then stay married. At least you could go on with yourlife without that toxic man in it. You are not going to change him.