"I am also daily sending my husband my schedule. He is unable to call me whenever he wants because of the area he is in and the time difference. I am trying to follow suggestions from His Needs, her needs and want to hold myself accountable to him whenver possible."

To assure your BH and to be accountable to him even though he is in Iraq, you could:

Maybe you could discuss with your BH who you could ask to be an accountability partner for you. This should not be a male, should be somebody aware of and in agreement with MB principles, and should be somebody both you and BH trust. You could give this person your schedule so they can verify for your BH that you really are where you say you are.

Give your BH access to all your passwords.

Install a keylogger on your computer giving your BH access/password to it.

Do not under any circumstances have any future contact with the OM, not even to tell him to stop contacting you.

No more alcohol - period.

Thank you everybody for all of your suggestions. BH and I are talking daily. I have also spoken to my counselor and will continue to do so. We are still working on getting me on anti depressents and anti anxiety medication.

BH is coming home for R&R at the earliest possible date, however that is not until the end of October. Until that time we will continue to talk over the phone. He has all of my passwords to everything and I am staying in contact with him regarding where i am and what i am doing.

We have spoken about an accountablility partner for me since he is unable to be here and are having a hard time coming up with someone. We just moved here in December and he left in February. I have a couple of close friends I have confided in but am hesitant to ask them to do this as they are close to me and not him. One possiblity is my FRG leader (spouse support group leader) as he knows her husband well and trusts him.

I am also in the process of setting up STD/HIV testing for myself. We do not want to go through the military drs for this so I am going to go to the county health dept and they only do it once per week by appointment only.

All alchohol is gone from the house and will not come back unless he wants it for himself. There is to much history of alchoholism in my family for me to take that chance again. I have definitly decided that the inclination is there and I do not want to test it.

Again, thank you for all of you help and advice. I will continue to come here and post. I love my husband a great deal and will do whatever is necessary to put the pieces of our life back together.

Sounds like you are doing all of the right things. If you have a church home, please talk to your pator.

Also continue talking to your women friends and asking them for support.

I don't know exactly what the OM said, but if you are worried you can talk to a chaplain and find out how to keep the OM from contacting you and your children. Since you live on post, it should be very easy.

Other than that, please keep reading here and try to figure out how the affair happened.

*********************EDIT*******************

Get a home repair book.....bet they sell them at the px or a book store near you. If I can read the instructions and remove then reinstall a toilet, I bet you can figure out how to change light bulbs and use draino.

How is this tirade supposed to help?

THAT was helpful..........you don't cut hair by any chance do ya.....

Sounds like you are doing a good job.

And talking with BH daily about what you are doing is a great thing. It might get tiring but you know what you are gaining trust as much as possible.

I just wanted to check up on you!

Thanks for checking on me. Bh got his books yesterday in the mail. I can't believe how fast they made it to Iraq. We are talking twice a day. We have our good talks and our bad talks, but we are still talking and communicating more than we have in years. We both realize that we have been merely coexisting for years and this is not a legacy we want to pass down to our boys. He comes home for R&R in October and while i am worried about seeing him i also look forward to it as well. THank you for all the thoughts. We still have a long way to go, but with prayer we will get through this and be stronger for it in the end.