My wife moved out with her 17 year old daughter last saturday, she moved in with a family friend from her previous marriage, he has a big house, and lives in her daughters school district, she is a cheer leader and needs to be at school a lot, this was her excuse for doing it, I do know that she has gone out with this guy before I met her. However I do feel that nothing has happened yet, I have asked her to get the rest of their stuff out of the house so that this can be a total seperation which is the right thing to do, I have also offered assistance to help her do this i.e. money if she could not get it anywhere else(him). I know that as her husband I am obligated to my family as long as she has not slept with him! How do I know. I did some research and prayer, I have her voicemail password at her job, and to her mobilephone voicemail password, she does not know that I have them. So far nothing. Which doesnt mean that it could not start today. I know where he lives and have rode by there several evenings this week and she was not there, when I knew that her daughter was at work, therefore giving her the opportuinty to be there with him alone. She has also come over here several times this week and said she was packing, but beyond the first day when she bought boxes and boxed up some things she now says that she wants to wait and go look at a house on sunday before she moves the stuff, I need her stuff out for me to be able to not be sad when I come home and see all the boxes and family items, how am I doing so far, any suggestions, I still love her very much!<BR>------------------<P><P>------------------<BR>Eugene

I'm on the other side of the fence (H is having affair with OW & has moved out), so I am not an expert on your situation.<P>However, I did come across a letter on <A HREF="http://WWW.weiner-davis.com" TARGET=_blank>WWW.weiner-davis.com</A> written by a man in your situation. He handled it by trying to continue to be W's best friend. I imagine it will go against everything you are feeling and would like to do right now!! But, you might want to read it and consider it as one of your options. It does have a happy ending- the guy's wife went back to him. Good luck.

A comment I have is that you cannot get your wife to move back in with you. Only your wife can decide she wants to move back in with you. Not sure what you and your wife's situation is. I assume you are concerned that she is or will be having an affair with the man she is living with. If that is the case, you need to decide what you want to do to protect yourself and try to help your wife to decide to move back in with you. If you think she is having an affair, its sounds like you might be thinking about goin to the Plan B stratagy (e.g. cut all contact with your wife.) By doing that you protect your self from the hurt seeing your wife come and go causes you and also lets your wife truely experience what being seperated from you is about. The other option would be Plan A, which is don't give your wife any more reasons to not want to move back in with you. I assume you have read the info on this site about plan A and B. <P>Good luck and be patient.

HI,<BR> Sounds to me like if I was your W I would feel I was getting mixed messages. You tell her to gat all her stuff out, yet you ask here "How can I get my W to come home"? <BR> Ask her if she would consider an "In house" seperation. I told my W to leave and believe me it's VERY HARD to get them to come home once they've left. AND if there is an OM you are sending her right to his arms!!<BR> Be her friend because if the last thing she remembers is you telling her to get her stuff out, well believe it or not YOU are the bad guy. Read this WHOLE site and learn fast!! Good luck, Frank