Hi SoulDragoN...
I think we are having a bit of a miscommunication...I'd like to clear it up, okay? I saw your post to me before it was edited...
First, I'd like to apologize for asking you questions...Let me explain why I did...
See, in my experience here when someone posts saying that an UNREPENTENT adulterer's words have any *truth* to them, well usually that means they themselves are just that...Makes sense, no? Believe me, many, many active and unrepentent adulterers (including swingers and people promoting a polyamorous lifestyle) show up here with an agenda to promote affairs...It is quite common around these parts, but I'm sure you didn't know that...Usually they do that on a very vulnerable person's thread too...Re-victimizing the victim...it's pretty horrible to watch...
I myself am a REPENTENT adulterer as you know...Well, you know the adulterer part anyway...We haven't had a lot of interaction, so you couldn't know the repentent part...But I am...I am in a very happy and fulfilling recovered marriage with my first and only husband, Mr. W, who also posts here...You'll get no argument from me that my PAST actions were the most offensive and grotesque things in the world...I've been shown much grace and mercy, have many blessings to count that I don't deserve and am more grateful that you could imagine...
Here's something I'd like to share with you that might help you understand *why* that there are no "pearls of truth" that come from the mouths of active or unrepentent OWs/OMs/WSs...See, active/unrepentent adulterers LIE...Shocker, I know...While in the affair, I did NOT paint an accurate picture of my marriage or myself to the OM...What he got was only what I wanted him to see...I made Mr. W look HORRIBLE...I had to, it's not like I could very well have said, "My husband is AMAZING...I don't have to work, he doesn't care if I cook, I have someone that cleans my house, I have tons of credit cards and money, he has NEVER yelled at me or called me a name, he is a highly educated professional, who is incredibly handsome and loves me dearly"...Yeah, that wouldn't very well have made OM jump for joy at the thought of being with me, now would it? So instead I searched for the tiniest of grievances and exploited them grandly...If I couldn't think of grievances, I made some up! Yes, SICK I know...But those are the ways of an active adulterer...So you see, OW/OM couldn't possibly have any "pearls of truth" about the marriage, no way...Do you see what I mean?
About snooping, well see I had never been secretive prior to my affair, but obviously during it I became so...I was making decisions about Mr. W's life without his consent...He had every right to that information...He snooped, I got caught...It saved me from myself...It saved our marriage and family...I am GRATEFUL to him for snooping...Snooping had an additional benefit for us in recovery as well...It served to show Mr. W just how fake an affair relationship is...All the outright LIES that it is built upon...Snooping allowed him to see firsthand, that it wasn't real and didn't hold a candle to what he and I shared...
Anyway SoulDragoN, I hope this has shined some light on a few things and cleared the air between you and I...I wish you the best...
Regards,
Mrs. W
