I am… I’m just… I can’t express how angry I am.

My youngest daughter has lived with the father of her children for almost five years. We have always been against it and never understood why she stayed. During those five years, I can count on one hand the number of jobs he’s had, and none of those lasted more than two weeks. She works extremely hard and has supported his lazy butt for the whole time. His life is hanging with his buds, sleeping most of the day and playing with the kids when he feels like it. She was always stressed to the max (only makes around $10 hour), always worried about what HE wanted or what HE was going to think. HE came first. Every time.

Now we know why. A couple of Sundays ago my husband and I were at church with our 4-yr. old granddaughter when my husband’s cell phone started ringing. It was HIM asking for directions to the church because he wanted to come and pick up our granddaughter. Knowing him and suspecting something was up, my husband just hung up. My daughter then called crying and hysterical. HE had attacked her that morning and she ran, leaving everything behind, including our 1-yr. old grandson.

As it turns out, this wasn’t the first time. The truth is finally out. The difference this time was that there were people there who saw the whole thing. He chased her to the parking lot but she was able to get away. We met up with her and brought our granddaughter to her, knowing that we couldn’t keep her from him if he showed up. She went to the police department and filed a report and then to the hospital. She’s been hiding from him, staying with friends, until the police pick him up.

He took our grandson. He cleaned out their apartment taking most of the valuables, even took my daughter’s driver’s license out of her pocket, the keys to her car, and what little money she had.

It’s been almost two weeks now. My daughter has met with crisis intervention, and is meeting with CPS today to get their help in getting my grandson back. She has not spoken to or seen HIM in all that time. Her heart is breaking because she wants her son back. Because she has finally gotten away from HIM, she is seeing more clearly how bound she was by that idiot. She “loved” him but sees now how unhealthy it was and is seeing HIM for what he is.

She made the comment to me the other day, “Mom, I never knew I had so many friends. I’ve been afraid for so long. He always threatened to come after my family if I ever tried to leave and take the kids.” People are rallying around her to help. I knew they would. I had told her before if she ever managed to lose the chain around her neck (I had no idea how bad it really was), she’d be amazed at how much help she would get, but until she did, people weren’t willing to help her, knowing that it was helping HIM.

Last night she confessed that HE had choked her until she passed out that day. That hit me like a ton of bricks. HE almost killed my baby girl. I haven’t “hated” anyone in a long time. I don’t know what I’ll do when I see him face-to-face again.

I’m praying that the police find him soon. They’ve issued a warrant for felony assault with a deadly weapon (his hands). I hope they put him away for a long, long time.

No questions, maybe just some advice for any woman who reads this who may be hiding their own HIM. Get out. Now. Today. There is help.

PM,

You willingness to share what happens in your life is something I have always treasured because it helps people so much that may be hiding in their world.

Thank you for your gift to those who may need this and be given the strength to get out.

{{{{{{{{{{{PM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Princess M, I am so very sorry! What a nightmare! Do you know where the baby is? Do you think he is in danger?

Im sorry PrincessM that this is going on. I am happy she finally got out of there. Many thoughts with you and your family.

I hope your grandson is safe and sound and will be reunited soon with you and your daughter.

Oh I can feel her pain and yours. I've BTDT and I know how hard it is to escape. Luckily, things have gotten better for women since my day and there are ways to keep that $#%^^ away from her. But nevertheless, don't take chances. Do everything you can to protect her and don't give him an inch. There is NO EXCUSE for that and the stakes are way too high.

to you and your daughter!!!

Thanks Queenie. If what I’ve written nudges someone to escape then there is good coming from horrible.

KeepItReal- no we’re not sure where they are but suspect he is with his mother in the next town over. We only have a cell phone number for her as they just moved about a month ago. We believe our grandson is safe but God help HIM if he’s not.

APrettyFace- thanks. I’m believing that this is all going to turn out for the best… including having HIM put away. My daughter is also filing for sole custody and possibly trying to have his rights terminated.

I will be praying for all of you. Please keep us updated.

Thanks Tabby. My daughter is an amazing woman who has dealt with a lot in her life. In fact, she is the least likely person you would think would allow this to happen. She is being very strong right now. She called me yesterday morning and said that HE sent her an email over the weekend to her work address. In it he was professing his undying love and reminding her of all their history, blah, blah, blah.

I told her he is trying to manipulate her any way he can. I told her about MB's Plan B and told her that perhaps she should get someone else to screen her emails so she wouldn't have the read that garbage. She knows she can't have any contact with him because he'll just try and sweet talk his way back in. Typical abuser, huh?

She sees it for what it is. Thank God.

Yes, yes and yes!! When I escaped, I actually ran 2000 miles away from home. In those days there were no laws to protect me and even the church turned a blind eye. It was the only way I could escape the manipulation. I'm so glad things have changed. Plan B is perfect for this!

No advice, PM, just thoughts and prayers for you and yours.

And it seems like I've got a shovel around here somewhere. . . .

Believe me. That thought's crossed my mind. My DH has even said maybe he should get some guys together and throw him a blanket party.

Oh, I'm sure. I'm hardly a violent person, but just the thought of someone hurting my daughter brings out all of those impulses.

PM

Have they issued an Amber alert for your grandson? Just because he is the father does not mean he can take him. Get the public in the area keeping an eye out for him.

From your discription of him he can't be too far. Some friend has to be helping him. No job, no money, where else could he go. He is probaly telling everyone how he escaped your daughter and was able to save his son.

Hmmmm....A trip down to BC's hunting camp in the swamp..wouldn't need the shovel even.


My thoughts are with you PM.

PM I'm so sorry to hear whats happened to your daughter,thankfully she has you and hubbie to help her through this....
My thoughts are with you....

No Amber alert. He's the father with rights and all-- believe it or not! It's because he hasn't harmed the children and there are no court orders in effect. Blah, blah, blah.

We suspect he's staying with his mother who I KNOW will get tired of helping him with the baby, paying his way, etc. Once SHE finds out all the details about what went down, I'm hoping she will cooperate with the authorities.

She's a very selfish woman and has her own issues. She has not been willing to help them much before now and I don't see her making any sacrifices. His mother's is the first place the police are going to look for him (if they can find the address) once the warrant is issued (they told my daughter it takes 10 business days to get it issued!?!?!).

Works for me! (Just kidding... for the record)

Thanks Chrisner.

Thanks Hope, prayers are appreciated.

Update: Just talked to my daughter who had meeting with CPS this morning. They interviewed my granddaughter and then my daughter. They CAN'T go take my grandson (if they find him) because the idiot hasn't been arrested yet and hasn't been accused of hurting the children. That's just messed up.

They are going to track him down though and talk to him.

My daughter has to get an order of protection (only for her) and will be monitered by CPS. I understand that because they have to make sure above all that the kids are being taken care of in all this mess. She even has to go to parenting class! She's a great mother! Whatever.

Once he is arrested and charged, my daughter will be able to get her son back, since she's done nothing wrong. She is also filing for sole custody through the court system but as we all know here on MB, the legal wheels are slow, slow, slow.

My prayer is that once CPS contacts him and his family, he will realize that my grandson needs his mother. After all, in a letter he left in the apartment (after he cleaned her out) he goes on and on about what a great mother she is, she's an angel, a good person, deserves better than him, blah, blah, blah.

She should take the child the very first chance she gets. Daycare, out with grandma...etc. The child cannot be taken by the police until there is a court ordered custody...or for danger...but your daughter certainly can take her.

Get an emergency petition...you could probably have one by the end of business tomorrow.