Hey there.
My problem is my hub I think is addicted to cyber sex. I caught him about 1.5 yrs ago, and we decided to work thru it, and he actually did work to rebuild trust etc.
Then, 2 before a cross country move to a place we knew I would have some culture shock with, I discover that he was STILL cybering. Of course, there was nothing to be done but move, but the move was very difficult given the stress on the relationship.
We've had numerous talks about his problem: at first he was all volunteering to go to marriange counselling or to restrict his computer from adult sites. Then, after we got here, we tried my giving him carte blanche - just share it with me, was the only condition. I thought we were making some progress.
Meanwhile, I am having problems adjusting to things unfamiliar to me, like giant bugs, and constant tornado warnings. We had a rough time with the remnants of gustuv and I spent a lot of time away from home in buildings I felt safer in.
Well, after days of being scared, he suddenly gets fed up with my adjustments problems and instead of trying to help me to feel safer in the wake of 600 tornado warnings, he decides I will "never" adjust, and he doesn't want to be married anymore. (we have only been here a month) He said he wanted to cyber the whole time I was away and is telling me that he stopped loving me "the right way" YEARS ago and he only now just got the "spine" to tell me.
Like, what? I swear hes been loving and caring and he really did put the effort in to try to rebuild trust the first time I caught him. Would he really do that if he didn't love me "properly"? I thought we were a team, and we made all these plans for our life together. Does ANYONE say "when I think of my future you are always in it" if they don't love someone "properly"?
I am telling him hes got a cybersex addiction problem because he gets really wigged out if you suggest he should give up his RPG website. He says today we cant go to a marriage counselor b.c they will make him give up his Internet and he knows it. He's saying, that if he has to choose between me and cyber, he's picking cyber and no longer even wants to repair the marriage. He wants to be "free" to "do his own thing" and wants to "have sex with someone else".
I guess out last convo was a sort of intervention, where I said he needs help, and I guess his anger and denial are par for the course but it still hurts really badly.
Should I just give this out? the problem is that my family i sin Canada, which could not be further from MS where we just moved. I think he needs to be away from me, but I have nowhere to go b/c we just got here and its all his family. I've told him to go away for a week to be sure, b/c I feel if I go back to canada that will be it.
Does anyone have any ideas? Thank you so much for any input.
