I have another question about waywords and/or former waywords and Jealousy prier to there affair.

In your experiance, did they show jealousy, or extreme jealousy before there affair.

For the first several years my wife and I where together, she was insainly jealous. I was accused several times of sleeping with variouse people. I have been yelled at for looking the wrong direction. Hit for just being polite. She literaly yelled accros a parking lot and called a girl a "SLT" becouse I looked in her general direction. I was constantly being threatened that if I ever cheated on her I better divorce her first, or she would cut my "U-KNOW-WHAT" off.

I learned to never look up, never smile at or interact with anyone of the opposite sex except for in a very buisness like manner.

It got to the point that I was not allowed to watch movies or TV shows that had certain actresses in them becouse "You just want to watch that becouse "Blank" is in it"

Then, slowly, about 2 yrs ago, she started getting more realistic about it. I would say she became "normaly" jealouse.

But I was just wondering if any other Waywords show this type of jealousy at any time before the affair.

I read an article once by a psychologist on infidelity, in which he said that people exhibiting more jealousy had a higher tendency to cheat (or was it vice versa?). He talked about some Freudian concept of transference - the potential WS supressed their feelings of temptation and lust, and the guilt or shame associated with that temptation, but which were then subconsciously transferred and associated with their spouse. In other words, one spouses's fear that they themselves might stray subconsciously led them to believe that their spouse would do so also.

My FWW admits that she has to battle with her "bad girl" side almost daily, and yet, she is almost as insanely jealous about me as yours. She also admits that one reason she married me was because I was "safe" and wouldn't have to worry about me straying (back then, I was shy, not the flirty type; she had to make the first moves). Yet, she still has been and is jealous.

My WW has alwayd been extremely jealous and suspicious that i was/would cheat on her. It recently came up that she suspected me of it with a certain female Naval Officer who showed up to my mother's funeral.

I told her it was not true. I think part of her wanted to believe it to make her feel better about what she did to me.

I am the BS not the WS but I have ALWAYS been jealous of my H (not “insanely” jealous but jealous none the less) and I have not ever had an A or had the desire to have an A.

I truly do not even enjoy checking out other men. I have always thought of my H as the “sexiest man on earth” so why would I want to even look at another man. Plus I have always practiced EPs naturally (I do not have male friends, I do not go to lunch with males unless it is a group, I do not have girls nights out nor do I believe in them, I have never had a personal discussion with a male other than my H, though I am a friendly person and speak to plenty of males at my job but it is always non-personal types of conversations).

However my husband is a very attractive man and he has always taken good care of himself so he has a good physique and he is a very friendly person as well. But I can tell you that a lot of women are very brazen and will flirt with him with me standing (or sitting) right beside him. And of course this boosts his ego and whenever I say they were flirting he always just says they were being “friendly”.

Also in the beginning of our relationship he told me two things that have unfortunately always stuck with me. One thing was that I was a “Plain Jane” and when I got upset he said there is nothing wrong with being a “Plain Jane”. The second thing he said was that if he had not married me he probably would have married a “knock out”. When I got upset about that one he said he did not mean it the way it sounded (even though I do not know of any other way that it could have been taken).

So you add the low self esteem with the brazen flirty women and it usually spells the green eyed monster so yes I am jealous very much so, but I feel because of my EPs and my personality (besides the fact that I have been betrayed myself) that I will not have an A.