A little background, when my GF was 26, she had a massive stroke and did suffer a severe brain injury to which she miraculously recovered from. However it leave her right arm partially paralized and with no sensation. If you observe close enough, you can tell it's over the whole right side and she's compensated as her brain relearned to use that side again within the limits of the damage. You can notice it in her speech sometimes. She will stumble over words when she's tired and they just won't come out and she will look at me to tell her the word.

I recognize this from my own blood loss brain injury. I will stop in mid sentence as if I had never started it. I don't even notice it until someone tells me to complete the sentence and I have no idea what they are talking about.

If she drinks, the damaged side will anesthestize and go to sleep and the other side will take over, revealing a totally different personality that struggles to function without the other half. It's like she's dreaming, but awake.

When sober she seems just fine, but I just noticed she absolutely can not perceive a threat. She is indifferent to something that she should flee from. I thought last year when she saw the scorpion, she was just being obtuse when calmly told me to get the scoripon out to the bathroom.

I told her a few months back to be vigilant when fueling her car as women here are being targeted for assault and theft at the grocery stores and gas stations. She said she wasn't worried and I was being paranoid.

Last night, out of nowhere we had a swarm of HUGE hornets to attack the porch light and window.

I didn't even know it as I had merely left the light on for GF when she got home from work.

My cockatoo had been screaming at the window and it was annoying me, so I put her in her cagin in the back room. She was saying "oh no you don't" and "get back here" over and over as she protested.

Well GF gets home and it's almost 10PM, we are on the phone and she says unlock the door, there are a couple of "bees" on the light.

I go to unlock the door and barely get it cracked when I notice what they REALLY are. HUGE, ANGRY hornets!

I calmly tell her to immediately get back to her car and wait. She calmly said OK I'll eat my dinner there. She walked right through the swarm.

I had several inside now to contend with and I kill them quickly.

So I go out to the back deck, there is at a minimum of two dozen hornets attacking the light and window and I expend two cans of industrial wasp spray on them. They literally coat the deck dying.

I get back in the house and she says, there's one in my reading lamp as she looked up from her book.

I asked her if she realized how much danger she was in, and she said that it stopped buzzing and never left the lamp.

I asked her if she knew where her epi pen was and she said no.

She is EXTREMELY allergic to them and will most certainly go into anaphylaxis. I had to tell her that hornets are a mortal danger and to avoid them. She said I know I'm allergic to them and will have a reaction if stung. I just can't let one sting me.
I aske her just what plan did she have to pervent it from stinging her if she didn't move away from it. Her eyes opened really wide as if some sort of light came on and she scrambled from her chair.

She can't perceive a threat of any kind. Wether it be people or nature.

Pariah, can you convince her to see her doctor about this?

I don't know what they could possibly do with a past brain injury. I also notice that she can't hold a grudge either.

She only had a 10% survival prognosis and spent a month lingering in a coma, but somehow survived to recover.

She had to re-learn to speak and walk again.


It's just little things that we take for granted. I just glad that I notice my problem and consciously try to correct it.


She also talks in her sleep, sometimes she sleepwalks. Sometimes it's really creepy, but I know that parts of her brain doesn't shut down in her sleep.

i don't think it qualifies as a quirk. But, I think her doctor needs to know.

Her doctor is familiar with her brain injury, but not her quirks.

I try to talk to her about it and she just shuts down the conversation saying "it's embarassing".

I do know she really struggled during her recovery and doesn't want to relive that part of her life. She won't even speak of it, but a tidbit every now and then.

She won't drive my truck because her hand can't grasp the gear selector lever to change gears.

Perhaps, they might listen to you if you shared the information. They couldn't give you information but they might listen if you called.

How unfortunate, Pariah.

I know two people with brain injury. One, a boyfriend from many years ago and one was a good friend for a few years but we no longer see each other. The boyfriend hit a tree while driving very fast and was in a coma for a while. This happened before I knew him. I met him about 1 1/2, 2 years after his accident. All his friends and his family told me was a different person from prior to the accident, but I had nothing to compare him to. Still, he was odd. Physically he was very capable, but did have some odd movements at times, like when he was tired. Behaviorally he didn't always make sense, his sense of reason seemed off. I never felt like I was able to get to his core or felt able to have a real meaningful conversation with him. Some undefinable thing seemed missing.

The woman friend had a brain tumor, considered inoperable, who then had radiation therapy which got rid of the tumor but did cause some brain damage. She too had behaviors that were off and didn't or wouldn't recognize them. Both of these people had what appeared to be a selfish streak and/or an unawareness though I'm not convinced those words are correct.

What I came to feel about both of these people is that there was something unmovable about them. Meaning no amount of talk about rational behavior would get them to change. I guess that's what I meant by selfish though I think it was more related to the brain injury, not consciously selfish. Pinpointing ways to help or improve a given situation proved illusive.

I think what this all comes down to is that you have to accept the oddities even if you never get a concrete answer about why they occur or if anything can be done about them. Doctors don't know all that much about the brain so I think they really don't know how individuals will react after an incident or if they will improve.

Remember the movie 50 first dates?

Have her read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker.

You are spot on. I knew I wasn't imagining it.

I tell her that she talks in her sleep and sometimes just random things when dozing off as the two halves of her brain are in conflict.

Pariah-

It's possible that the brain injury has made it impossible for her brain to connect the information she is getting about threats to the part of her brain that instinctively would have triggered her to know it was a threat.

Brains are interestingly wired, and brain injuries can cause all kinds of "short-circuits" in the processing of information.

It is possible that she could, with some behavioral therapy, learn to respond to these threats. It wouldn't be nearly as difficult as the other relearning she's had to do.

On the bright side, Pariah, your girlfriend does seem to take direction from you well. She actually did go get in the car and wait for you to kill the hornets. If she had refuesd, you'd have an even bigger problem on your hands.

Does she have any fear at all?

No, no fear whatsoever.

However she isn't wreckless, she just can't recognize a threat.