Hah.. not to sidetrack us..

But I never knew you were a pilot (guess I should have read more closely).. just another thing we have in common..

Course I'm just a private pilot.. but hey..

Studied to be an airport manager and took my flight instruction for college credit (maximizing that money man!).. and now I am a programmer.. go fig

Great advice, catperson.
When we lived in a super good school district, the parents were everywhere - fund raisers, office volunteers, they were coming out of the woodwork every time you visited the school. At parent/teacher conference time they sent home a slip saying "Your scheduled time for Parent/Teacher conference is Tuesday from 3:00 to 3:20 p.m." and when you got to the classroom, the child's file was ready and the teacher discussed your child's strengths and weaknesses with you.

Then we moved to a sucky school district and when the first Parent/Teacher conference day came around, there wasn't a set time, more of a "Tuesday after school" thing. I took time off work and went to meet the teachers. When I introduced myself to the first teacher they looked shocked and said "But your child is doing very well in my class - why are you here?" Then we chatted and used up almost the entire Parent/Teacher time because no other parents showed up.

WOW.

I flew KC-135s in the AF. NKAWTG! (No one Kicks A$$ Without Tanker Gas!)

I have 50 combat missions under my belt.

Got out because the WW ambushed me with "I want a divorce" the day I came home from deployment.

Rocked my world and....well, you know the standard BH reaction and sob story.

Standard wayward behavior ensued, "Just friends" comments made, and you know the rest of the standard story.

Got out in a mis-guided thought process where I thought I'd be able to save my marriage and family in doing so. I now work at the Pentagon as a defense analyst.

Sure miss flying, though. Best job I'll ever have.

But my new "best job" is being a dad. This settlement, or order, or finding, or whatever you want to call it, gives me significant quality time with the kids and ensures I can stay as a positive influence in their lives and have enough time to supplement their education and teach them their faith.

So this is a good thing. It will be great as they get older and we can do more stuff together. I'm sure that pretty soon we'll be going to DC United games together and will be doing all kinds of fun stuff in addition to the serious stuff.

This also gives my family a really good chance to see the kids a lot once the summer comes.

So there's lots of good stuff. You never know. I may get current in a plane again and start teaching people how to fly for fun.

I'll be a flying instructor/lawyer/swing dancing/defense analyst.

All kinds of possibilities are opened up now!

"Always look on the bright side of life!" (Whistling ensues from the Life of Bryan)

That's awesome man.. I grew up to the sounds of KC-135's flying out of Grissom AFB (now a reserve base) my entire childhood.


Even got to take a trip with one of the flying gas stations with the Scouts one time.. got to lay down and fly the boom a bit.. and the pilot gave us a few seconds of weightlessness just for kicks.. as a kid I thought it was super cool.. now I just do stalls and power down the engine over cornfields for kicks..

[T/J] When I worked at NASA, the KC-135 'vomit comet' pilots were always taking school groups and other groups up to do the weightless thing. They always took barf bags with them, cos a lot of the people needed them, lol.[/T/J]

Isn't ironic that they picked one post over so many to you???
They should have included them all to be fair!

It's okay though, cuz she's never gonna get it. IMO she's always going to have the wayward mentality.

I'm so glad to say that I do not and that I consider myself a FWW!

Indeed, coach, it is funny that they handpicked your one negative post to me to submit.

None of it is admissable anyways nor do judges care about the ramblings of anonymous and faceless posters online. It's heresay.

I just got back from a week long trip to California with the kids. Those kids LOVE the swimming pool. They would literally spend the entire day in there if they could. It was neat to see them overcome their fear of the water and swim around the deep end and jump off the diving board. Seems like belly flops are popular with four year olds.

The family got great quality time with them and the highlight of the trip for the kids was Disneyland. The boys eyes lit up when they saw the "real" Lightning McQueen and Mater and my DD got a hug from the "real" Alice (from Alice in Wonderland) and she got to see the "real" Ariel, who waived at her.

It was neat to see that innocence and excitement and a lot of fun.

The boys were literally falling asleep on their feet at the end of the night right before we got on the Nemo ride (which was the best one IMHO).

I have news on other fronts. My shoulder may not need surgery, which is good news. The bad news is that it looks like I have an abnormality in my neck which is pinching a nerve. So further testing will help show what's going on.

But it's all liveable and I'm coping with the pain well.

I've started guarding my calories more and am really going to put in an all out effort into losing weight.

I got invited to an Opera tonight by an old eHarmony contact who has been a friend for a year. It's funny because I really connected with her on a character level. She's a current Naval officer and former aircrew. She's an oceanographer so is quite smart.

We enjoy being so openly nerdy with each other.

But the bad part is that she chose a different guy a year ago which she ended up being engaged to. The bad news? That guy cheated on her.

So we're going to the Opera tonight, totally platonically. I'm going for the experience.

I'm going to see if I can interest her in a soccer game for the weekend.

So life carries on.

Went to the Opera last night. It was quite the experience. I can now say it's not my cup of tea. I think it was the opera itself and not so much opera in general. I don't mind reading subtitles, but the play itself didn't capture me.

The story was of a tragedy and a comedy that are forced to be mixed together by a man watching the two different acts.

It was certainly very European in both it's humor and tone.

Entertaining from an educational standpoint, but not really my cup of tea.

My friend is a hoot to hang out with. She's currently dating a guy that cheated on her while they were engaged, which baffles me. I told her I didn't understand that and that she was a good catch and that there are plenty of fish in the sea.

We went as friends and had a good time.

Don't think I'll be going to another Opera again, though.

I volunteered to work the tail gate at the DC United game this weekend and enjoyed the game afterwards. It was fun, but not as much fun as going with someone and sharing the experience. I was also a little disappointed with the club and the "nest". They weren't as hard core as the other fan club, who seemed to be leading all the singing and chanting. I got some great video of the game, including when we unfurled this giant banner and I was underneath, beating the sheet after we scored a goal.

The neatest part came at half time. The Barra Brava went into the hallways of RFK, where the concessions are, and started singing and dancing. Hundreds of people were crammed in there and chanting. I got video of that too.

It still felt a little lonely. It would be nice to find a buddy who enjoyed going as much as I do.

The good news is that I've been talking to another MB member who lives near here and does like soccer, so I may be able to convert someone to be a United fan.

Sally called me on her drive back from NY and we talked for a good while. I asked her if she wants to go see Les Mis with me and she said yes so I am looking forward to that.

I've backed off of calling and texting her and she's surprised me with contacting me. So I'm really starting to think that if I continue to be friends, continue running and getting back in shape (it's so hard!) that it may pay off.

Any pointers on apetite control? Seems like that's my greatest weakness. I've been hitting the treadmill, but not seeing results like I use to. I just need to accept I'm not 18 anymore and can't just drop 10 pounds in 2 weeks like I use to when I was wrestling.

So I have a question for those of you who divorced:

How long did you go before you actually felt like dating again?

I really don't feel like putting in the effort or energy into meeting someone right now. Sally is the exception, of course, but I don't feel like really trying otherwise. Seems like it would be too much to deal with.

I've taken the attitude that "what happens happens" and that I won't actively look, at least not for a little while. Seems like my heart's not in it, except for Sally, of course.

Or maybe that's the problem. I really like her so the idea of pursuing others isn't really in the equation.

I was just telling D17 that yesterday. She's starting 12th grade, and for the first time, she finally met a guy she really likes and wants to go out with, but they dated for a while and he decided to go out with someone else. So I told her the only way he'll likely get interested in her again is if she isn't acting like she's dying to go out with him.

As for getting into shape, I'd recommend adding some yoga. It does wonders for muscle toning, and once you get the muscles toned, the weight comes off faster, cos the calories burn faster. At least that's what they taught us when I was taking fitness classes at the gym at NASA. And it's great for your peace of mind.

Someone else recommended Yoga to help me with my BP. My BP is still high, but it has dropped a little over the past week that I've been running.

I think my problem is a lack of patience for results (along with poor discipline in terms of eating). I do get results within 2 weeks when I do the weight lifting/running combo and should think about doing that again.

4:40 wakeups are painful, though!

But, if that's the price of getting in shape, then so be it. Especially if it helps me attract someone like Sally.

Or someone else at the gym who's into bettering themselves like you are.

Why, oh why do I have to be crazy about a woman that is emotionally unavailable?!

Arhghhhhh!

Asked Sally if she wanted to go grab dinner. She said yes and went to her favorite place. We sat, drank wine, and chatted the night away.

I was looking at her the whole time and thinking, "She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous."

Watching as she spoke and I'm just sighing inside.

Unavailable.

Looks. Smarts. Conversation. Speaks two languages. Been around the world. Educated. Cultured.

Whole package. Would take her home to mom. DID take her home to mom. And mom approved!

Alas, still too wounded to be receptive.

But patience is my friend.

We're going to go see Les Miserables next week. I invited her first, then my entire divorce group. Granted, I was hoping they would all say no. And they have!

So it will be her and I at Wolf Trap on the night before my birthday.

Sigh.

Self torture.

That's ok. She's the only woman I want to date right now. If it wasn't for her I'd take a vow of celibacy and run off and join the priesthood.

Any suggestions?

As someone I know would say...

Take plenty of cold showers

Hopefully it will all come around soon. Give patience and it will come.

Cold showers?

Sigh.

What's frustrating is that I think she very much enjoys spending time with me but is just too hurt to let go and take a chance.

But that's ok. Patience is a virtue.

She told me that she thought about calling me up on Monday night to go have dinner. I was thinking, "Why didn't you?!"

I tried to focus as much of the conversation last night on her and what was going on in her life.

She has a new job, new challenges, etc.

What's great is that I have no trouble at all not talking about my ex and my legal stuff anymore.

We had some txt exchanges later in the night. I told her we need to have a Casablanca movie night and a 300 night.

I loved Casablanca. Could relate to the story of falling madly in love with a woman, thinking things were amazing, and then having her disappear without any real understanding as to why.

Same goes with her coming back out of the blue. One of my "fish that got away".

Great film.

So we'll have a night where we'll watch that.

300 is great too, but that's for different reasons. Might hold off on that one. It's my current all time favorite movie, but not so sure it's great wooing type of movie. Been told to get the Notebook and invite her over. I was browsing movies last night and thought Just Friends was perfect.

Still, When Harry Met Sally is what I'm hoping for.

The casual approach is best. Be friends without tipping my hat too much.

Agreed, POM! Just catching up here, and glad to see that you've got so much going on in your life! That you are independent and have so much going on for you is sure to attract Sally if she's as ambitious as you say. Ambitious people want other ambitious people in their life!

I think the "slow" friends first approach is good in your sitch-- for her. Sounds like she's worth it And as her hurt dissipates, she'll see more and more in you... slowly...

Glad to hear things are going so well for you!

E.

I will be seeing her for Les Mis next week.

I really hope she has fun.

I hope it's a good production of it.

I'm sure we'll head to dinner beforehand.

I guess that if we keep having positive interactions like this that they will have an effect on her and give her positive memories as she heals and starts feeling better about her life.

She is ambitious indeed. She's a hard worker and I admire her drive at her job.

Told her I'd like to find something closer to home. The drive to work is getting old. Would be nice to find something up where I live.

Couldn't do it without a big paycut, though.

So I have a big date for next week. Yes, it's as friends. But I can still look forward to it. She always looks good when I see her.

Will need to run an extra mile every day before then!

Gotta lay off the cookies and wine, though. Too much of those last night.

don't know what got into me last night. Went home after our date, opened a bottle of wine, had two glasses and baked cookies while watching a movie.

So I'll try to get an extra mile in tonight as my penance for indulging last night.

I'm so glad Fall is around the corner. Can wear my favorite clothes very soon.

I want to invite her over to watch a movie tonight, but am just going to play it cool instead. Want to see if she reaches out to me if I back off.

Mmmm... wine. I am a self-admitted wine-o. I love wine... I love savoring a good glass with dinner, sipping a good glass before bed while reading a book. MMM...

Keep us updated with your dates!

Have you heard from her again?



E.

I had my kids for the weekend and it was a nice one. I want to plan some more activities with them in the upcoming months. I'd like to get a fish tank like I use to have and have been looking around for any bargains. I think the kids will really like having some. Been thinking about a cat too but I'm allergic.

I had a cat for years and years and always attributed my congestion to dust mites. Well, lo and behold I'm very allergic to cat pelt. The lightbulb didn't go off for me until I let someone watch my former cat for 3 weeks and then got her back. Sneeze fest ensued and watery eyes followed.

I checked my med records and it was right there: Allergies - cat pelt.

Somehow missed that in all my years of flying.

I took the kids back to exww on Monday afternoon and was hoping to hear from Sally. I sent her a text early in the afternoon and didn't hear back so I didn't text her the rest of the day.

She texted me very late and asked me if I was ok. She said she was surprised she didn't hear from me all day.

So I texted back and told her I sent her something and didn't hear back from her and didn't want to bother her too much.

She said she was sorry she didn't get my text and spent the day riding bikes with a friend of ours.

So she sure notices when she doesn't hear from me, which I guess is a good sign.

We're going out Thursday night to see Les Mis and I'm really looking forward to that. I'm going to clean my car out, pick her up, and make the most of the night while keeping things friendly.

Next Friday is my birthday. So what's a great way to spend it? I get to go to court to discuss finances and have a judge determine new child support amounts based on our settlement.

I guess it could be a good day.

The good news is that I get to see the kids again next weekend.

DD6 is really growing up fast and so are the boys. It's amazing how quickly they progress. I really look forward to the day when all four of us can sit down and play a game together either at a table or on a console (really want to play Legend of Zelda: Four Swords with the kids, but they're still to little).

I have images in my head of playing pitch and catch with a real batter and catcher and pitcher between all of us or going on camp outs to the woods.

Those things will be a lot of fun.

I had my CS hearing yesterday and it was on my birthday of all days.

I was offered an amount I can live with with one big exception. They expected me to pay the same amount through the summer months when I get the kids full time and she doesn't have them. I said that there was no possible way. I simply can't afford to pay a summer time daycare, take care of the kids full time, and pay out that amount of CS.

So the negotiating started.

There were two incidents while we were negotiating. I was talking in the hallway with my lawyer when my ex's attorney, Darth WHNACG started making comments to me to antagonize me while I spoke to my attorney. I started arguing with him and asking him if I was expected to pull money out of my a$$ in the summer time because it was impossible for me to pay what they were asking during those months.

I started to move away and focus on talking with my lawyer when he said, "Maybe you would feel better if one of your kids was killed".

I lost it and started really arguing with him at that point, asking him what the hell that's supposed to mean.

The judge sent the bailiff out into the hallway and she came up and told me I needed to calm down. A lady sitting nearby pointed to Darth WHNACG and told the bailiff that he was antagonizing me and being very unprofessional while I was trying to consult with my attorney.

I was outraged by the comment and spent the the rest of the afternoon trying to cool down. I haven't wanted to kick anyone's a$$ in a long time, but he sure as heck succeeded in getting me that angry.

I was trying to cool down about the incident when my exMIL came into the hallway. I told her, "You want to know what that sh*tbag you hired said to me?"

I told her and she seemed shocked and disturbed. She didn't say anything but retreated to report it back to my ex.

The ex came out a little later. She came up and said "I just want to apologize for what he said."

I was still pretty angry and admittedly should have just said "Thanks, but it's not your fault. You didn't make the comment."

I instead lit into her and went off on how much of a scum bag he was and that if she really wanted to apologize she should fire him on the spot for such a comment. I added that I sure as he77 would do it with my lawyer if she said something like that. I told her that an apology from her means nothing since she didn't say anything.

So I could have handled that better, but I was still very angry.

I was LATER going over the latest version of the pig with lipstick settlement offer being made when exww came up to me again with boyfriend in tow. She wanted to chastise me for reacting angrily at her attempted apology.

I looked at her bf and asked, "what are you doing here, you have nothing to do with this?"

He was angry and started raising his voice at me and saying that I needed to treat her nicer and with respect.

I told him to butt out and that this had nothing to do with any of this and he had no say in the matter. I was angry again at this point and he started raising his voice as well. My lawyer started telling me to stop talking to them and the exww pulled the bf away before things escalated further.

As they walked away I told him that the sooner he learned his place in all of this and understood he had no status or say that the sooner everything would get better.

So that was my lovely birthday.

I did get a final say with the judge at the end of the day.

I stood up when it was all over and was allowed to address the court.

I told the judge that Mr. Darth WHNACG had been on thin ice with me for a long time over his behavior in our case. I explained how he crossed the line this evening and told him what happened. I then pointed to the lady who was a witness and willing to testify to the same over what he did in the hallway. I ended it by saying that I would be filing a complaint with the MD Bar.

I also mentioned that exww's bf attempted to intimidate me in the hallway and that I wanted it ordered that he was to no longer be present at our child exchanges.

The judge couldn't do anything over something he didn't witness in regards to the ex's attorney and he pointed out to me that our order does address boyfriends, girlfriends, and step parents.

So off I went to get the kids. My friends took me out to eat and it was a handful with the kids, but ended up at least making up for the day.

So that was certainly one of the most memorable birthdays I had, but it still doesn't top my worst one ever.