Just wanted to vent over an incident today with the Ex.

He showed up to pick up our daughter for scheduled visitation with OW in tow. I told him to get OW out of my driveway. He refused. He called the police. Police told him I had every right to request she leave my property and from now on he is to come alone...as he has for three years.

I apologized to the police on his behalf for calling them over something so trivial. If he would have just done as I had asked to begin with it would have been over and done with. The OW even admitted to the police that she knew I would have a problem with her being there. DUH!

I should have shown them the screendoor he broke last weekend from slamming it so hard when our daughter told him she didn't want to go to his family reunion because the OW and her boys were going.

Things like this remind me how blessed I am to be rid of him. Life is so much better!

Ronda

As long as I have been reading here and as much as I've studied the wayward mind, I STILL don't get how they can be so stupid and thoughtless. Do they really and truly think that one day, after enough time has passed, we will "see the light" and welcome the OPs with open arms??? Sorry you had to go through that AGE.

Thanks Tabby....I suppose in a perfect world it can happen but when it's someone who I considered a "good friend" and her kids used to spend every day all day at my house....there is no forgiveness for me. No matter how hard I try.

Hey Allurin'

I'm not sure how much this has to do with forgiveness as it does with protecting yourself and your children from anger and continuing pain. I understand your hurt and anger but to call the police seems like it will create more pain for you and your children then need be.

Because of the ongoing hatred and the tension that causes you're prolonging the control your previous marital situation and the betrayal by your ex that has. For your sake you need to find a way to live with what is rather than acting on what had happened, no matter how s..ty that was.

I not saying you need to have them over for dinner and holidays but something between that and calling to police would be a better place to be.

Let me ask this, do you feel better having called the police? On all levels or just because it felt good to get a little public humiliation for your ex and the ow?

Please know I understand the desire to hate and want revenge (the day my ex moved out for what I hoped was a separation he went away with his current gf whom he has never acknowledged having an affair with), I just question the healthiness of acting on it, for you and your children.

nams,

HE called the police. Alluring didn't.

She apologized to the police for HIS involving them.

committed

Committed is right....HE called the police...I didn't. And I did apologize for HIS bad choice for calling them and wasting their time when they have more important things to worry about.

BTW...The EX brought our daughter home last night at 11:30 because she couldn't sleep. He never called to make sure I was here or anything. I thought someone was breaking into my house when she came in. She cuddled up with me on the couch and said there was too much drama for her today and that's why she couldn't sleep...she couldn't shut her brain off. So I told her she could sleep in my bed...we laid in bed and talked about the day. She told me that on the way over to my house at 11:30 that her dad told her that the OW is still bawling and blaming herself for her EXBF committing suicide. Why he would tell her that is beyond me...she's 11..it's of no concern to her!!!! Well anyways..eventually she fell asleep and she's going back to spend a few hours with him this afternoon.

I have to get to work

Ronda

AllurinG,

It's been quite a while since you have "vented".

Life must be going good for you.


Last I read there was someone on the horizon.

How did that work out?

committed

I'm sorry for my mistake, Allurin. The fact that HE called the police certainly changes the whole situation. I'm sorry for you and your children. The drama, the poor choices, must be so difficult for your children to see and experience. I NEVER thought I'd say this, but I'm happy for the ex I have. Gawd, things could be SO much worse.

Committed,

I am VERY good and getting better every day with the help that I receive here. And I'm not just saying that...I really do mean it. I recently made a comment about my fear of traveling and with the advice of my friends here.....I AM GOING TO TRAVEL!! I'm going to start saving my pennies and I'm going to do this.....FOR ME! I've already told my kids and they aren't happy that they aren't going with me. But once I complete the first trip on my own...then I'll take them somewhere too. I'm 42 and I'm gonna see things and do things for me and it feels good to have something exciting to look forward to...a goal!

And as far as the guy on the horizon...he's still in sight...We talk, text and hang out ocassionally. Nothing romantic or sexual at all. Just buds for now and that suites me just dandy! I work 50 hours a week, raise two kids, attend football games every weekend and to fit a man in there full time might be a struggle. My son graduates this year and he's my active kid. So maybe once he's out of the nest I'll be able to find more time. I'm really not worried about it. If it's meant to happen it will.

Nams,

No worries...I sometimes read stuff wrong too.

Hope everyone had a good Sunday...I missed the Steelers game!! The last I heard on the radio was that they were winning...I'm off to check the website right now. I usually don't work on Sundays just so I can watch my Steelers!! hehehe

WoooHooo my boys won!! 38-17 One of my brothers always goes to Steelers training camp and this year he took my son...who is a DIE HARD Hines Ward fan! They had VIP tickets so they were right on the field with them. My son was in AWE!! My son's football number is 86 in honor of Hines and the kids on his team refer to him as Hines. If only he had Hines money!! LOL Every mothers dream!!

Ronda

Hey Allurin,

congratulation on the Steelers win, with Tom Brady hurt for the year and Indianapolis looking like crap, your Steelers may be in line for a Super Bowl trip. My Jets won, and the local team, the Falcons got a big win. Good day all around.

I agree with the above post that, although, he may have called the police, and he may be an insufferable jerkhole, you have to stay on the high road. You have done an incredible job protecting your children, being an honest person, and doing the right things as a mom. Be careful that his crap doesn't become your crap. Trust me I have experience with that.

For the past ten months or so I have changed my relationship with my daughter's mother. We are extremely civil, we co-parent, and we even do joint events with our daughter; esssentially putting past transgressions behind. I realize this may be impossible with your situation, but the minute you let your deserved anger take over, he wins. That's the way it works.

My ex got pregnant, got married last labor day without my daughter present, and had a baby in January. None of this change was healthy for my daughter, yet I have resolved myself to let my daughter figure out her mom's errors later in life and be calm, civil, understanding, and happy when it concerns her mom.

Your situation is different but keep your head. You are doing everything right. Don't stop. Sorry for the bad moment.

Let's Go Jets!

hey look it's gekko lol... obviously gekko doesn't know me but a birdie posts about him enough for me to get a chuckle about his presence

anyway ronda, you go girl

I'm sure you know this already but as a healthy reminder, the ex can only bother you if you LET him bother you

if you ever wander down to the beach, you have a friend in florida

btw i like the new photo you put on myspace

Charlie, you are not trying to stir up drama, are you?

AGG

on the first count, i am guilty as charged

.

Thanks Gekko!! If it's one thing I've learned during the divorce and even now is to let him make an a** of himself. He does it so well!! That reminds me...I need to put popcorn on my shopping list...I've run out with this latest drama sighting.

Someday you'll be saying GO STEELERS! Mark my words my friend! hahaha

** Gekko...I forgot to comment on your daughter and the ex. I can really relate... My son has little to no contact with his dad and he's learned over the years that it isn't because I didn't try to make it happen. His dad lives 45 minutes from us. I would take him to his dad's for a quick visit on Father's day (this year I offered and my son said he didn't want to go..so we didn't) I have offered to go and actually get his dad and his wife so he could attend my son's football games so he couldn't use the excuse of high gas prices or no gas money but he still had excuses. His latest broken promise was coming to my son's scrimmage that was 30 minutes away from him....and he never showed. My son was on the football field between plays asking me where his dad was. It was heartbreaking! He's suppose to be at the senior recognition football game...and his graduation...but I know he won't show. So I guess the moral of the story is to show your daughter you are always available to her no matter what. The rest will be what it will be. Control what YOU can control.

Charlie,

I have relatives near Gainesville that beg me to visit. So you just never know...I may take you up on it. Likewise to you if you are ever in Amish country...look me up!

Thanks for the compliment (That photo was taken on my 42 birthday! I don't feel as old as I am!) And tsk tsk on you for trying to stir up drama...We have more than our fair share of it on these boards lately!! Gekko is a good guy and I love seeing him on the boards again!!

Take care!
Ronda

Hi AGG!! It's good to see you too! How's life?