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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered

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Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered #2122739 09/07/08 10:20 AM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 9 M mrdanzig Junior Member
mrdanzig Junior Member M Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 9	I'm feeling lost. The symptoms or signs were there. I've seen them before. WW waning space to wanting me to move out. Re-writting our marriage history. Pushing away friends that would dissapprove and only hanging out with friends that see flaws in me... The only thing I know for sure is that she is having an EA with someone online. A musician with conecctions to NKOTB... sounds like a cliche'. My ww is in love with the idea of being with a famous person but I digress. I don't know what to do. The first time was 2 1/2 years ago with a co-worker. Long story short... she eneded the affair... she said she would work on it. She only went to counceling with me once. I went for a year alone. I worked on my issues or her issues with me. Things were getting better... now this. I don't know what to do... I don't think confronting her will help the matter. we have been married 8 1/2 years. 2 girls 7 and 3... She wants me to move out by the end of oct. Fro the girls sake.

Re: Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered mrdanzig #2122749 09/07/08 10:48 AM
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 39 S surviving40 Member
surviving40 Member S Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 39	Are you sure the first affair is actually over? From my experience those things can linger on longer than you would ever imagine. If she is asking you to move out I would bet it is more than an EA. We as men always want to think our women would not have sex with someone else. Just the cold hard facts. ME BH 42 - WW 41 1 kid 14 years old DDAY April 13th 2006

Re: Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered mrdanzig #2122751 09/07/08 10:52 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Originally Posted by mrdanzig She wants me to move out by the end of oct. Fro the girls sake. What was your response to this? "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered mrdanzig #2122752 09/07/08 10:53 AM
Joined: Jun 2002 Posts: 2,956 C committedandlovi Member
committedandlovi Member C Joined: Jun 2002 Posts: 2,956	Quote She wants me to move out by the end of oct. Fro the girls sake. How magnanimous of her to suggest this. How about you counter that with.... "For the girls' sake....why don't you STOP your affairs?". What kind of good is going to come to your daughters to have you leave? Maybe it would be best if SHE moved out...can't be good for the girls to have a cheating Mother. Tell her you want what is best for the girls too. That is why you have decided that SHE must be the one to move out. You don't want them exposed to her immoral behavior. Let her smoke that. committed

Re: Feeling lost 2nd affair discovered committedandlovi #2122908 09/07/08 04:31 PM
Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 6,058 M Mark1952 Member
Mark1952 Member M Joined: Jun 2006 Posts: 6,058	Quote That is why you have decided that SHE must be the one to move out. And add that you aren't paying her way either. No point to picking up the tab for a cheater... If she wants to be free and live a single life, she gets to do it on her own. No using the marital home to be a swinging single. She gets to work to fix the marriage or give up the marital advantages and assets... Mark

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