Glad you are able to post. It will be good to have your sons home again. I'm sure that everything isn't wonderful in fantasyland. Hopefully they will realize that.

While DS15 was staying with WH,the two of them sat the kids(OP'3 and DS15) down and the following conversation transpired:

OP:When we start the business we will be very busy and you kids must promise to do your homework before you play computer games or watch tv in the afternoons as we won't be here to keep a eye on you.

DS15;Well then you two must stop drinking so much wine then as well.

OP:We are under a lot of stress and we need to relax!

DS15:So are we at school and seeing that we also need to relax we need to watch tv and play computer games!

WH apparently just laughed.DS15 said that WH is always a little bit drunk!!

Today I was just angry and hated him for what he has done to me.
I'm starting to think I couldn't take him back!
Apparently when WH went to the bank to see about the loan they had no records of his first visit so they had to start again from scratch processing the loan!
More delays....

This new business will definitly bring them closer together.OP will be filling an important need for WH as she will be "supporting"him.He wanted me to work with him and I didn't want for two reasons;
1.I didn't think it was healthy spending 24/7 together
2.I studied 4 yes to do what I do and I enjoy it.

Anyway I'm getting stronger and sadly I think I'm losing my want to have him back,although I don't think he will want to come back.The longer this goes on for the harder its going to be for me to take him back.

YIKES! Sounds like there will be problems in affairland if the kids will be watching themselves, and the adults are drinking to relieve stress.

A solid Plan B will protect your love for him. You really shouldn't even be hearing things second hand from your sons.

You're right back to a dark plan B.I feel like his in my face all the time....

When he dropped the boys off on Sunday,he came in the house carrying one of DS15'S bags,really wasn't necessary....he was awkward when he saw me,knew he shouldn't have come in.
I passed him on the road today too.DS15 stayed home from school today as he sprained his ankle... and he invited WH to come to the house this morning!I was angry but didn't show it when he told me.

I need to forget about him as I'm losing everything for him,respect and love are going out the window fast...

DS15 says her boys are very vocal when they play computer games and WH shouts at them to shut up!!OP then says"don't upset WH boys!!"Seems to be tip toeing around him..silly woman!!

I can now see why its sometimes better to make a fresh start with someone new....a man that hasn't betrayed,hurt or thrown you away like a piece of garbage.....can you feel the anger in me?LOL

I've been thinking about you a lot lately and have been meaning to tell you why...

Two weeks ago I went back to my home state of South Dakota.

Now for a quick geography lesson, South Dakota, in the entire state has less than 900,000 people. Needless to say this is not a top destination for people to visit let alone move to.

Four years ago a young man moved to South Dakota on a work visa from South Africa. After beeing here a few weeks he called his mom and said those terrifing words "I met a girl."

Fast forward to two weeks ago, this young man from South Africa has stayed in South Dakota and married one of my cousins. They are going to visit South Africa for a few weeks at the end of December, beginning of January.

Sometimes it amazes me how small the world is.

So, if you happen to know anyone visiting South Dakota right now, the odds are I met them.

Another instance of small world wonders. My H and I were in New York City this past weekend. In the very same restuarant we were at my H's cousin and her H walk in. They live in California. We had no idea they were in NY nor did they know about our trip. What are the odds?!

jlr thats amazing!Unfortunately I don't know anyone who went to South Dakota....I'm from Cape Town..do you know which province in S.A he's from?

December/January are great summer months here..perfect weather for the outdoors.Of course,shopping with $$'s you can have a 5 star holiday with the exchange rate what it is here!
I'm sure he will bring your cousin to Cape Town as there is plenty to see and its BEAUTIFUL!!!Its not called the Mother City for nothing!!

It really is a small world...

I'm so glad you and your hubbie are together,I envy you both...

All the stuff your husband is doing will get very old. They are still in the honeymoon phase. Believe me, raising a blended family is NOT easy. I did it and it really contributed to the demise of our marriage. And hubby and I weren't boozing all of the time.

Stay dark and hang in there. The affair WILL end.

Hi Hope,

I haven't been around for many reasons, but I will catch up on your thread as soon as this body and brain gets a little rest.

I hope all is well.

Q

I feel much better today...don't know why...
Believer,I'm surprised you feel they are still in the "honeymoon"
phase....I thought that only lasted a few months in the beginning....
I am committed to going DARK on him now cos I've reached the stage of knowing that I can have a good life without him and its so easy to move on now and start over with someone new.
If I carry on hearing stuff about him etc..I know I will lose the love that I have left for him very quickly.Its quite scary how ones emotions can change as you go through the stages of healing.

Queenie thanks for popping by...I always read your posts..you are doing so well ,keep it up.The two of us started out more or less together on this rollercoaster!!!!You REALLY helped me through my darkest times...thank you....

I just want to endorse that Cape Town is truly fabulous.

The funny thing is that only very few Capetownians have really tasted the full scope of that which the Fairest Cape has to offer.

These recent spring storms have proved to be rather hectic, even for the "Cape of Storms"

Just my 5c from this side of the small world. (We don't have 2c denominations anymore in SA)

Imagine, I agree with you....I lived in the Eastern Cape for a while and when I came back,I really appreciated all that we have here.I love going to kirstenbosch's summer sunset concerts too.

Living by the sea is awesome....we don't realise how blessed we are sometimes and take it all for granted.

These storms have been crazy....we took some great photos of the sea during the storm as we live minutes away...

Hows your book coming along?

A colleague told me about sea foam that caked along the Melkbos beach road. She had never experienced anything like this phenomenon before last weekend.

I would have liked to photograph the waves out at Seapoint/Greenpoint way, but driving through the deluge was almost impossible.

As for the book, rather slow. It has been in the framework stage for quite some time (sigh). The book's title is called "The fireplace". There are quite a few of my friends also awaiting for its completion.

I try to compensate by adding to an existing book of mine called "Semi Precious Poems"

Sorry! Hope this is not TMI.

Hopefully the bad weather is coming to an end...I hate the cold weather!!...I just want to get stuck into my garden and lay round the pool!!

What will happen to your lifestyle after D?

I've been on my own for 20 months now and I have learnt not to plan ones life to far into the future but live each day/week as it comes.

I still have all my friends,married and single....I actually have a busier social life now than when WH was at home!!I make a point of going out if I'm invited wether I feel like it or not and invariabley I end up enjoying myself anyway...

I have reached a point on this ride where I know that I will be ok....I do have a life without WH,the world doesn't revolve around him.I have always been ok going to functions etc on my own,I don't feel I need to have a man on my arm..if you know what I mean....

Most importantly,we must not fear the unknown but embrace it.

Having a quiet weekend...working at the moment

DS15 is going to WH this afternoon for a week....he'll be gone when I get home from work today..I always hate this....

DS15 told me that WH phoned him yesterday and told him that the loan was approved...got a knot in my stomach imagining the 2 of them celebrating....I will have to sign the papers as soon as the paperwork is done.I wonder wether WH tells the kids this info so that it gets back to me

When WH phones me about the loan do I congratulate him,something that, to be honest I don't want to do(admiration is a big need for him)or do I just play it cool.I will ask for a copy of the policy his ceding to me BEFORE I sign!

I have been staying dark.....I haven't shown any interest in his business but I know if I did, it would be meeting an important need of his.

"I have been staying dark.....I haven't shown any interest in his business but I know if I did, it would be meeting an important need of his."

Then continue not meeting that need. Let the OW do it.

Although maybe during the signing you could tell him that you wished that it could have been you and he running the business.

Hi hopenpray-

Regarding the loan, if he says anything about it, you should say something like, "Good. What time do you think I might need to come to sign the papers? I'll have to check my schedule."

Hope this helps-

Thanks for your replies...

johnstwin,I will play it cool as you suggested.....

Believer,I think I'll say that to WH if I get the chance...

I worry about OW meeting the admiration need...she will do a good job of it I'm sure...also WH has told me in the past that they work well together,get on well together..blah,blah.I have this picture of the 2 of them never LBing each other.WH has made out to me that they are just "perfect"together...

I met a woman who had previously worked with OW, and she said that OW"tries to keep up with the Jones'".She will be stroking WH's ego as long as the money comes in...

I passed WH on the road today.....I hate it when that happens.....

DS18 is going to WH tomorrow till friday as its WH 's weekend but he's going away the weekend for training .It has to do with his computer company....
I don't know if OP will be going with..wouldn't surprise me...

At the moment I am feeling a LOT of anger towards WH...
I feel like phoning him and asking him to get a move on with the D papers so this can come to an end now.....
I am very close to giving up on wanting WH back!!
Right now plan FU seems very tempting!!!!!