It wasn't Tim's truck, it was my other friend's truck, he's a mechanic too...


WEll, we changed out the sensor and it's just a wait and see process...she ran good on the way home and I'm fixin to head to work...

I didn't sleep much at all last night...couldn't stop my mind from running...would try to pray and would be off thinking about other things...

Ended up cooking after midnight, so supper is done tonight!

Good Morning! Figured since I was around I would give a little update!

THe kids and I are doing extremely well! Getting OS tested for ADD, grades were not so hot again when report cards came out! YS made A/B honor roll and brought home student of the week last night!

I FINALLY GOT A NEW CAR!!! WHOOHOO!! WEnt to TX to visit a friend and barely made it into the driveway! So, I pulled the codes on it the SUnday morning after finally getting a scanner and it wasn't good! Had to put the car on a dolly and tow it to my dad's in LA, from there my dad let me use his truck, and I went car shopping!

06' Dodge Charger, sunroof, heated seat, HEMI!!!! I'm so in love and I did it all by myself! I'm so proud of me! I still have to return my dad's truck and fix my other car so I can sell it! I'm going to my dad's this weekend and my friend will be towing it back to TX and fixing it for me becasue the shop around my dad's couldn't give me a firm price. More like anywhere's from $400 to $1200, and we all thought that was crazy!

XWH came over Saturday night to look at it, I finally told him I had one. I had to ask him to watch the kids longer the weekend I got stuck in TX and boy that was a mess! THey ended up going to my Aunt's until I got back into town.

Anyway, the whole point to the story of him coming over Saturday, and something else I'm really proud of is he ended up kissing me while he was here. Now, mind you, he's living with OW, they have been on and off, but are living together right now as a result of the storms and the damage to everything. POint being, he kissed me and it didn't do anything for me! Complete difference, I can honestly say that I'm over him and he's a complete joke.

IT's really funny to me, that all of the things that he did to me cheating with her, I got to see Saturday. He mentioned something about sneaking over here one morning and waking me up and I thought to myself YOU ARE SO STUPID!!! WHY IN THE HELL WOULD I WANT THAT BACK!!!! Not to mention SHE IS SO STUPID!!!

It's like so clear to see that he's addicted to the excitement or getting caught or something.

I don't know if anyone else can relate to the proud feeling I have on this subject either, but I thinks it's amazing that I can see through all the BS that he was throwing my way. I played along to see JUST what he would do, like confirmation that I wasn't crazy and making things up when we were together and I was fighting for my M. THat MY Addiction to him is broken!

He's so sad, he honestly thinks he's still got it with me, like I guess all he has to do is snap his fingers and I'll let him have his cake and eat it too! That's all he wanted during the M anyway, thing is I let him for a long time, because I was weak! WEll, sorry BAby, that was the OLD Rin, and it absolutely AMAZING how far I have come, through all of the pain, tears, heartache to the only thing I can do now with regards to him is feel sorry for him and laugh at him!

I think I'm actually at the point that MEDC mentioned one time about continuing to work on myself and I thought he was crazy. What do you mean work on myself, I'm better but I think I'm where he was talking about. Completely free from the WS and grips of stupidity! No longer willing to take leftovers and e okay with that, no longer wishing and hoping that the WS would change and we could be a happy family. It's been coming in waves and I finally feel like the last wave has crashed!

So, I'm prepared for any 2X4's for letting him kiss me, but I honestly feel that I needed it to see where I stood. Call it stupid, but I'm okay with it!

Thanks for all of the support over the years. I think the baggage is finally behind me and I'm REALLY ready to move on!

:twobyfour: Are you NUTZ??!? (Just kidding)

And the new empowered Rin told him what to do with it in no uncertain terms, right? He went away KNOWING that he stands no chance with Rin ever again, right?

Nope, to be honest, I'm saving that for the next time he mentions something. I've thought about it long and hard since it happened and am now awaiting the chance to let him know exactly that and that his kiss did nothing for me.

Sad huh, I've always been the type to soak it in, figure out exactly what I want to do about whatever it is and then go with that.

I did think I was crazy for kissing him back and going along with his crap, but I really needed to see just how far he would go with this because of how far he went in deceiving me. I did say a few things that let him know that he wasn't the one, but I really want to "stick" it to him the next time that he says the littlest thing to me. I did let him know that I didn't see how he could live with himself, and that I wouldn't be thinking about him when I went to bed.

I "know" that has to be bad, in some ways I still want to make him hurt like he hurt me. TBH, I don't really think that anything I do will actually do that being the state of mind he has. No sure if this is "normal" either.

I think that I was so weak in the past that a simple kiss would makes things all better for me. How easy it was for me to get sucked back into him and it didn't happen. It's simply NOT okay today and I feel like I have come so far with him.

Make sense? I mean in the past year and a half I have opened that door several times only to get hurt time and time again and THIS was it. There's no hold anymore, of course, he wasn't with her to my knowledge. I got sucked back in and I let that happen. I really can't believe how stupid I have been with him in the past. Like I was stuck on stupid for a long time, and I really feel like I'm not anymore! Wish it would have gotten here sooner! LOL

A friend of mine says that you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired of a situation, that interaction was like the final: "I can't believe what this man will do!"

Exactly. He hasn't changed a bit, but you have my dear friend.

Rin:

How about this:

Call the OW. Tell her that POSWxH kissed you and offered to "surprise you" one morning.

And then say: "Have a nice day!"

POSWxH will call, but you don't have to talk to him.
POSWxH won't try to kiss you again.
POSWxH made your reply to easy.

And then you can just:

Nice to hear from you!

LG

Thanks LG! Good to stop in once in a while!

TBH, I don't think that it would really matter, I'm really not sure what the sitch is over there. I assume since his camper is there that he lives there, but when the kids are there, they sleep in the camper.

I asked him about it once and he said that he slept in the camper with them out of respect for the kids! This coming from this man.

Also, I found a letter that he had wrote to himself this past summer and he was mad at her because she was "talking" to someone else. Well, it came down to it and I brought up the subject he said that she was not cheating on him becasue they were not together. It sounds like she didn't want to be with him.

Regardless, I know that the camper is at her house, he doesn't sleep in the house when the kids are around and I'm not sure if he does when they are not there! POWS has always wanted things to appear one way and they are not that.

Besides, I could care less if he cheats on her. He would call me a liar and she would believe him, if they are together. And I would come off as being the horrible X only trying to stir up mess if they are together. Either way, it's crappy!

I got to see how trashy he is and learned how he did what he did to me. Done, I can use that in the future should someone try to do it again! One thing I have learned here is that all WS behavior is about the same. This interaction clearly showed me how addict he is to the excitement of being caught, or doing something that you aren't suppose to, or whatever it is that he gets out of it!

I hope that one day, perhaps on his death bed, he apologizes to his kids for what he has done to their lives as well as mine. But, on a positive note, leaving was great for me, and I continue to strive for the best of the best...scared as he)), but on my way!

Hello, will miracles never cease!

I have some awesome and amazing news! Our Director and Director of Education got fired today and I have been appointed Acting Director by the President of the company. He walked into my office today and told me that he would need me to take care of some things for a while. I just said okay, no questions asked, about 30 minutes later he informs me that I will be acting director. I was in shock and think I still am! My phone has been ringing off the hook from coworkers, and friends. I have alot on my agenda and tons of fears that I have to calm, including my own!

I have spoken with several of my friends who have supported me beginning with the time of the A until now and they are really so proud of me! One of my friends said that I have really blossomed since I decided to leave my M. She talked about all of the great decisions that I have made in the last year and a half.

I have made waves since I left and I can certainly say that I am successful in my personal recovery and all of you are a part of that success. So, thanks to all of you for that support. I can't repeat that enough.

COOOOOOLL!!!!

Now you might actually be able to afford the new car

or is this one of those, "you're the temporary boss, so no raise given"

Regardless, buy a BOSS car, get a BOSS job

Congrats little bine!

Congratulations, Rin! You have come so far.




Fox

Thanks guys!

Actually BC, I am getting a one time bonus and it's really nice. The president has already made the arrangements for it to be on my Dec. 15th check. He said that he wanted to made sure that the boys and I had a great Christmas and it will be!

I laughed and said that "a Financial incentive would be great to help deal with the stress!"

I can certainly handle that for running the place for the next month or so until someone is found! It was a very busy day, I didn't stop from the time that I got there and I loved it!

He even gave me permission to shut the campus down @3:30. I have a Dr. appt to go to @ 4 around the corner. He gave me kudos on the great job that I was doing and I look forward to showing him my go goer personality. I am applying for the director position even through I know that I will not get it because that's who I am! I don't have the experience of running a school, but this is an opportunity that I will not let slide! Success is what you make it and I plan to shine to the best of my ability in the time that I am allotted! :pumkin:

Well, I've been sick all week with sinus cr@p, I'm going to go lay down and watch some TV. Boys are with POWS, which I "DID" have the opportunity to talk to him yesterday and I "DID" make a point to let him know what happened, of course, excluding the bonus part! He called to ask that I send really nice clothes for the boys b/c he's taking them to a wedding. I didn't get to call him right back because my phone was blowing up, so when I did call I mentioned that I was acting Director as of that day!

I had to rub it in a little, LOL, I mean look what he gave up! I'm doing better now than I ever was! JMVHO! LOL...have the HO and your camper, and all of the cr@p that goes with the life you chose! :gobblegobble: I'm moving up! LMAO...

Hey Rin,

Been a long time...

This is the best news of all. All the success we have outside ourselves doesn't compare to the personal recovery we feel inside and with G-d as our lead.

Mazel Tov on this and the promotion. I can't think of anyone who deserves it as much as you.

Thanks Queen, it's temporary, but I'm the woman for the job! Hoping that I leave a lasting impression!

SO, POWS came over tomorrow to drop the kids off early. He came inside to see OS's project, hence the reason he was dropping the boys off early, so we could finish it!

On the way inside, he pinched my butt, and I QUICKLY slapped his hand away without saying anything about it!

OS showed him the project and we went over it and quickly finished it while POWS was here. They were to take their baths and POWS and I talked about different things, including the upcoming Holiday schedule. He then said goodbye to them as they were finishing up and getting settled in for the night in their Pj's.
So, I walked him out and made a point of letting him know that kiss last Saturday didn't do anything for me. He asked what I meant and I told him that he used to kiss me and it would knock me off my feet, and when he kissed me,that it didn't do anything for me.

He said that he was getting old and losing his touch. I laughed and said "at least with one person!" I just said that I felt I was complete done with him and that I really was in a place to l with him only on the kids.

You could hear the sadness in his voice but he was trying to joke it off. Oh well!

I visited a friend of mine this weekend because I had a wedding out of town. This friend has been friends with POWS their whole lives. He admitted to me that he told a friend of his that POWS really f'ed that one up, talking about our M.

All I could really say was yea! IN the meantime, I'm still waiting for that special someone to come along! Right now, I'm just concentrating on the job (the boys, work, and taking care of my stuff) at hand.

HI all! Well, here's a breif update and I'm off to bed! Things have been crazy since I have steeped into the Director's role at work!

I've been handling the stress alot easier than I have in the past! I didn't handle stress well when I was with POWS. I can only guess that was becasue I was in knots all the time, off center!

Last Friday, I received a call from OS's teacher, saying that he was refusing to do his work! I said that I would be up there later and would call his dad to let him know what was happening. I did txt POWS, told him what was going on and that I was on my way to the school. I also asked that he call me later that afternoon so that I could tell him what the teacher and I had talked about.

OF COURSE AND I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, no call! It didn't disappoint me or anything, I expected it!

When I got to the school and talked to the teacher, things had changed! She said that OS was choicing to do the things that he wanted to do but it didn't sound as bad as she made it out to be on the phone. After speaking with one of his other teachers, I find out that this teacher is a FIRST time teacher. OS was just screened at school for ADHD, scored on the low side but is still there! So, I just signed his IEP for extra things that they are going to do for him. As a result of talking with the older teacher, I will be trying to move OS out of the new teacher's class and into her's. Not only does she had more experience but is also a licensed socail worker and has a STRONG desire to help OS success, even if it's by the skin of his teeth.

Her and I have communicated a good bite, including email.

Well, Sunday, POWS txt me asking if I could pick up the kids from him, mind you he's living at OW's house! I simply replied "NO!" he wrote back why not, I pick them up from the sitter's and drop them off every week. I didn't response and there was a quick txt after that one that said never mind I'll figure it out! I wrote back that if it was a problem of time he could drop them off early. He said that he would ahve them back for 7pm, like he was suppose to. I said thank you and he said for what. I txted back for bring them home!

Nothing after that! He arrived a few minutes late, and was in no mood to talk! I could tell by his body language! He handed the boy's bags to me and walked back to the truck and left. Didn't ask about the Friday or anything.

I thought oh well, I've been caring for these two pretty much on my own for years, why stop now! I asked OS if his dad had talked to him about school and he said yea kind of. POWS had OS call XMIL and talk to her. OMG, what kind of father is this? He says he'll call and doesn't, then tries to "talk" to the child and doesn't BUT had XMIL talk to him, who is FAR removed from the sitch! Oh, I'm sure THAT helped. Like her helping when she asked "OS, ask your mom if you can come live with ME for a while so we can figure out what's wrong?" however she put it!

These ppl are unbelievable! It's so sad that this is the kind of support that OS is getting from his father, teh man that claims that these boys are HIS LIFE! Bu))[censored]!

And as far as me picking up the kids from HER house, POWS was out of his mind to even ask. I will ONLY pick them up in case of emergency and that in my book means he had to have been rushed to the hospital or something along those lines. Just my thinking but if I were to pick them up there then he would think that I'm okay with him living there, or HER for that matter and I am not and will not be okay with HER!

Then, IF I DO this, he will want more and I'm not about to bend over backward for someone who I see pulling no effort into his kids lives much less his own!

please correct me if I'm wrong but it appears if I give an inch he takes a mile and I'm not about to be his caretaker anymore! Been there done that and that's was a wrap a long time ago! I'm spent a long time being his fool, no more licking the bowl for him, and eating the cake! I'm more than willing to be the Baitch in his eyes for the rest of my life and I'm perfectly okay with that!

On another note, we are getting a new director at work come Dec. 8th and I AM ready for him to step in! I have lost about five pounds in the last few weeks, which is great! I'm always happy to lose a few pounds, LOL, especially with the holidays coming up! I don't stop from the time that I get there until the time that I leave and am still running when I get home!

I figured I would start early this year and the boys and I finished the Christmas tree tonight! Last year I wasn't into decorating but I vowed to be more festive this year! They are looking forward to decorating the yard, so we are going to do that this coming weekend when I actually have some time off!

I just don't get POWS, I didn't with the A, I don't now, and I certainly don't with regards to the boys! Of course, I guess you can't give what you don't have to give?

Funny how we emerge from this stronger.. more grounded eh? Personal growth can reveal a great many strengths we never knew we had. It's painful.. like working over muscles that rarely get used.. but in using them, we become stronger.. more fit people.


And this is really where a lot of the dissapointment comes from isn't it? Someone we used to love, respect, and admire, has proven themselves to be worthy only of this kind of expectation?


Let go of your anger Rinder.. I know it's hard, but you've got to look at it as you would any business arrangement.. the ground rules are in place.. you play by them.

Then there's this..


You've got kids.. you know how this works with a 8-16 year old's mentality. Heck.. just the other day when WW told DS he'd get to spend a Wednesday night with me.. he was so happy and grateful to her, he asked if he could stay two days instead of just one.. He's actually pretty mature for a 4 year old.


You're still trying to figure him out?




It'll just make you :crosseyedcrazy:

That's the REALLY sad part, I wasn't even disappointed! It was more like "Oh, he said he would call and didn't! OKay!" What hurts is I feel for the boys! One night we came to drop off YS's folder that he forgot and we were talking about OS. WEll, OS came to the door inside the house, and we were standing outside the door. POWS looks at OS and asked him if he would like to spend some time just the two of them, OS said yes and it didn't happened! OS didn't say a word, I didn't bring it up! I hurt for him and of course that makes me feel like I have to do more for them!


IF that's the case then the rules are in the paperwork that he returns them to me!


Yea, I got you on this one! I don't think that I really try to figure him out, he just pisses me off with his actions regarding the kids and there only so much I can do to protect them.

He asked me at the beginning of the school year if I wanted to go to every other weekend and I said no I was happy with the schedule, thinking that it was good for the kids to be around him so much, but the more I see the things that he does the more I consider it. Thing is I won't want the custody amended in court, so he couldn't say that I'm just not giving him his time, so he can't come back on me with that!
As it stand now, I have the 2nd weekend and if there's a 5th weekend in the month.

It's really frustrating and it was when we were married! I always wished he would do more with them and this is the most time that he has ever spent with them. Sad, just sad!

Rin,

I'm so glad that you have been 'acting' Director! What wonderful experience, even if it has been exhausting. That is the good kind of tired, I think. That comes from being so busy! I'm sure it will be a relief to have the new person come in, but you now have that impressive work to put on your resume!

As for the Ex, well as much as I dislike the phrase, it is what it is. And we both know nothing that you do can change that. It's POWS's problem. Unfortunately, it's the kids that suffer because of it.

You have done an outstanding job all of this time being a wonderful mother and a fabulous parental role model for them. Stay focused on THAT. You do it well. They see it. They feel it. They know it. You can't stop the crappy, negative actions of POWS,,,,and you can't stop the fact that they see it, feel it, and know it. Yet by providing that opposite example & influence in their lives you are counteracting it.

Remember, "You can't Fix Stupid" so don't waste your time on it.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Hi Bugs!

yes, it is what it is! For years POWS would tell me that he would do more things with the boys when they got older and I would say that now is the time if he wanted a relationship with them that he said he would. Unfortunately, he talks alot of stuff but following through is a problem for him!

On another note, I was SOOO proud to walk in and tell the boys that I was acting Director! Their MOM, acting Director! No matter how short of a term, I know that they see the improvements in me and I hope that my light shines to them. I hope that they have the same desire to push for success in a multitude of ares in their lives! The changes that I have made, the first thing that they have mentioned is "mom's not always angry and upset!" I have more patience with them and other things in my life. I feel good for them in regards to my life and I feel bad for them with POWS' part.

It has been stressful but I think the stress is a result of being in an area that I am not comfortable with. I think that being uncomfortable is a result of some fear, and wanting to do the best that I can even through I don't have the tools. I have been learning alot and this has all been about opportunity anyway! I'll be going to the Director's Conference in Gulfport next week and then I have to do everything with graduation. Handing out the diplomas, and degrees, speaking...a whole new world! I'm nervous, scared, and I keep thinking thank God for those speech classes in college! LOL

On the home front, the IRS was nice enough to finally sent that letter asking me to refile my taxes...that whole mess with him being behind of CS, doing what my lawyer said, and not having a court order...

Still dealing with my ins. company from the hurricanes, I called today and they STILL haven't sent out a check.

I haven't been able to get my old car fixed yet, the boys and I are leaving tonight to go to my dad's and he will be towing it back home for me this Saturday! Then, there's the task of finding someone to fix it!

I also don't know if I mentioned that POWS and his lawyer hasn't responsed to anything that we have sent to them to conclued community property. SOOOOO, my lawyer filed for a court date and that is scheduled to be March 4th! They are actually hoping that this will propel them to do something. The court document staed that it will take a half of a day and a court reporter will be needed!

Then there's the ADHD with OS.

So I have a lot going on but nothing that I'm complaining about. I'm handling it all one thing at a time and haven't been stressing about it...it will happen when it needs to happen and no one moment sooner! I have the firm believe that God's plan is better than my plan anyday! I know that God has often laughed at me about my plan! Good thing he has a sense of humor! LoL

AH, speaking of the ins. company, let's see what they have to say...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Outstanding!! A conference and then a speaking engagement at graduation??!!! You HAVE to post a pic for us!!!

You are doing great girl!

About OS ADHD,,,,reach out to whoever and wherever you can for assistance. I went thru a lot with DSS and there is help out there. And if he's having issues at school, as with any other type of school issue, more communication is the only answer. Keep yourself in front of those folks as much as possible. Same with his doctor and counselor. If he doesn't have a counselor, I'd suggest giving it a try. It's amazing what I was able to do for DSS when I did that.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

HI All! I'm just getting into from Gulfport and from doing graduation!

I was SO giddy when I got to Gulfport in my hotel room Tuesday night! AND WEDNESDAY after being in meeting ALL DAY, seeing that corporate ladder and KNOWING that I finally MADE it! WOW!!

I'm offically a Director in training! WOW, little old me! I'm so proud of where I've come from to where I am today! I ahd to call me mom and tell her "Mom, I've made it! All of my hard work has paid off!"

Life has changed SOOOOO much for me and the boys! After I checked into my room, I headed to my favorite place to shop and was rewards with some AWESOME finds for the boys Christmas. That night at dinner the President of the company handed out Christmas cards and I got a check for a little more than I had spent on the boys! Of course, I did get myself a pair of new shoes and a couple of small things for myself! A girl HAS to treat herself!

I met some wonderful people, ALL willing to eager me down the road!

I AM SO IN AWE! I NEVER would have thought that life would have turned out like this for me after my M ended! Of course, my choice and an extremely difficult one at that!

Thing is even out of my fear I have stepped up to the plate and have been rewarded every time!

While I was in Gulfport a friend txted me saying that he has a friend that he would like for me to meet! Thinks that we would get along great! SOOOO, this weekend my friend and I will be going visit him. From the little I know about him, he seems pretty interesting, well established, responsible, just got back from London, an engineer! Certainly not getting my hopes up but looking forward to making a new friend at least!

It's just been a whirlwind since I stepped into this Acting Director's position, about a month now! If I'm understnading right I will be traveling more. I certainly missed the boys this week! I'll get to see them in the morning and then they are off to POWS tomorrow afternoon! SO sunday is the earliest I will get to love on them. I hope that they are as proud of their mom as I am of myself! I hope that they can see the benefits of all of this and understand that it's not easy to give up the time with them for work but that it is for our future!

I certainly hope that "I" am their mentor, their lighthouse, and I so want them to say I want to be just like my mom! I didn't have that growing up. I had to look to outside influence, steal tidbits of knowledge here and there!

WE're going to have a great Christmas because even though I was fearful, nervous, questioned myself at certain points, I have done a great job! I want so much more for than. I'm getting the opportunity to give back to them what they have given to me, even when I didn't deserve it becasue I was so angry and resentful of POWS for so long! I took that out of them and I vowed to make amends by providing a better future for them! I have and I'm so proud. I still screw up for time to time but I can't change the past only the future one day at a time!

I am SO grateful for this site, the people, the principles, amazing! The concept of personal recovery was inconceivable to me when I got here. I didn't understnad that as so many others. I didn't know where to start, what to do with myself...

I've found my purpose in life! I'm great at inspiring people, giving them hope for the future and today! Who would ahve thought that I would nail my first speaking engagement with poise, class, self-confidence...I certainly wasn't that when I found MB...I was a lost soul, who felt I didn't have anything to say that people would want to hear. Tonight, I touched lives, not just my students but their family and friends! WOW! WOW! ME?

That's God's work right there, closing one door and opening another! It's there, you just have to wait!