Hi All,

How I wish my WH signed the divorce paper served to him. But he refused to while he continue to live with OW and 2 OC. I have no other option but to proceed without his approval. Or else I will just waste the money that I paid my lawyer.

I have a court hearing on the 26th. I don't feel good going through the divorce proceedings without joint agreement. Any comment on this?

Thank you,
Someone

I don't know the rules in your state but here you only have to be separated for 1 year and you can get a divorce whether the other person agrees to or not. In my case, I'm not filing. I did the work and paid the money for the LSA, which protects me. WstbxH was desperate to get me to sign the divorce before the year was up. I told him I would only under the condition that he check off the adultery box and write in OW's name (something rather silly legally but it would have made me feel better). He wouldn't do that so I wouldn't sign. His year was up 5 months ago and I haven't received a D-certificate in the mail or anything so I presume I'm not. I don't know what the problem is - it's only $50 or something pathetic like that. It doesn't make a difference to me. In this country, the LSA is more like your divorce. The divorce is more like a remarriage liscence.

Divorce means you can't find joint agreement in most cases. I know, some cases divorce is mutual.

But in most cases one wants it, and the other doesn't, or at least doesn't yet want it.

Since the process in the US is an adversarial one, by the end of the divorce, both end up wanting it. The one who wanted it to start with and filed, and the other spouse.

It's also possible that the one who had the affair really wants a divorce, but wants the other person to file. Again in that circumstance, there is seldom agreement at the beginning, but by the end of the ordeal, both want the divorce.

But since divorce is adversarial, expecting a POJA is typically an unrealistic expectation.

Tabby, when he files you will receive a petition for divorce from a process server (or him... depends on whether he will do it yourself) You have 30 days to respond to the petition (send an answer - kinda like a counter claim) or you can choose to ignore it as I did (he filed for divorce only and there was nothing to fight over)

After the 30 days are up, he has to file the actual divorce papers and then it goes before the courts. My understanding is that it takes months for this in our great country, and if STBX filed ours immediately after the 30 days, I am living proof of that. I got my petition in mid March, and have yet to get a divorce here. I almost want to call STBX and ask him what the hold up is.

Are you in Canada as well? I don't remember much about my first divorce as it was done through a lawyer. By the time the year of separation had expired, then-stbx had disappeared off the face of the earth. I had my D within a month and it came in the mail.

When you divorce, the gloves come off.