Been here before.


3 weeks ago the signs started to appear: WW Being secretive, telling me that I'm crowding her, spending hrs on the internet, to telling me I need to move out right away. ---She likes to talk about that a lot. She asks, when will i move out, where, and that I need to be out by the end of Oct.

With a little bit of work I was able to hack into her email and cell records. Pages of messages to OM and phone logs of texts and calls to OM. They talk on the phone every night. IM and email all day. This guy lives about 4 hrs away. They met in a chat room...

Per emails and myspace messages, they are planning on meeting at a hotel next week. I have the name of the hotel and I also confirmed the reservation by calling the hotel. Would canceling the reservation help?

What do i do with all of this information? Who do I tell?


This is affair # 2 for her. Is our marriage over?


Thanks for the help.

She did this to you before, and she's doing it to you again?

I'd say yes.

H*ll, I'd plan a great Plan FU too. Like get a PI to get photos of them in the act to expose to all concerned (including OMW) while you're home changing the locks, emptying the joint accounts and cancelling the credit cards...

Since you have this much intelligence on her ... and I'm VERY SERIOUS ... I would contact the toughest divorce attorney in your area and have the suit filed the day of their rendevous ... I would then hire a PI to serve her AT THE HOTEL, while he collects evidence.

I agree with the others...

PI to do a meet and greet at the hotel...and in the mean time, you throw all of her [censored] out of YOUR house.

She is asking you to move out?....lol....that's just funny.

Kick her cheating [censored] out.

if i had the money... I don't have thousands to inflict wrath of any kind.

MrD,

""Is our marriage over?""

This has to be a rhetorical question, correct?

And she wants YOU to move out?

Is the OM married? Maybe you and OMW could split the cost of the PI. And I totally agree with the previous posts.

So sorry for your sitch. There has been much discussion here about the 2nd time being much worse than the first.

Stay strong.

kirk

Hey, its not too often that MyRev and I see eye to eye... but I gotta hand it to him here.

And, BTW... a "good" lawyer will FIGURE OUT how to get paid, even if you can't afford to pay them yourself.

Get that lawyer on the phone, hire that PI, (or hell, go take the pics yourself), and have her served, in the hotel That'd be a good one!

She ain't worth it.

How long ago was A#1? Kids?

E.

My H has had several A's and my honest advice to you is to get out while you can. It hurts as much if not more every time because you get all these promises of it never happening again and you start to believe them. Then, you start to feel like the biggest sucker around, which effects how you see every aspect of yourself. It's not good and it's not pretty.

Don't ask me why I deal with it because I don't know...I'm a glutton for punishment I suppose. I wouldn't wish it on anyone which is why I advise you to go straight to Plan D.

If you think you can control yourself, show up at the hotel with a camera and knock on the door..."housekeeping." If her name and address are on the reservation you can probably show the lobby staff your ID, get a key and just let yourself in. Bring all her crap with you in some trash bags and tell her to stay her [censored] there. You can always bring a few friends for FO cheerleading moral support.

Time for Plan GTFO!

Then, call the OM and tell him you'll be meeting him at the hotel....for a chat.

I am sorry for what you are going thru. It sure does suck and I know it is hard to deal with.

I would go get a lawyer and file and serve her before she leaves and tell her to get her stuff out. Please go to a lawyer and protect yourself.

Why should you get out and leave why she gets to live in your home and sleep with another man. If she wants to do that she can get her butt out. To do this you need a lawyer and stop being a doormat.

It will also more that likely stop her lust for a hotel meeting with her scumbag. My wife was heading out of town to Vegas for a four day sex marathon with the OM. Hehe I let her pack and told her I had a present for her and it would be delivered in the morning she was set to fly out the next evening. I had her served divorce papers and she did not make her flight out with the OM.

To me that is the day I took back my life and it has been much better ever since. Since this is her 2nd affair and she is cheating and wants you out I would do to her what she wants to do to the OM.

Best of luck as I know this sucks.

I'm sorry you are here. Only you know how many A's you can tolerate, but I think most of us would say that a second one was two too many.

Have a little fun with it though. Once you know they are hot and heavy in the hotel room, show up with a hack saw. That should scare the OM a little.

Six steps are necessary as well as a demeanor as cool as ice.

1. Stop all dual credit cards and empty all shared bank accounts.

2. Fill out the divorce papers and have her served shortly after getting to the hotel. With the majority of states being no-fault ANYONE of average or low average intelligence can take this step without an attorney. Do not serve her yourself, you will be quite busy.

3. Expose your WW and to the OM's spouse, girlfriend, parent, or family. This should be done at the same time the suit is being served. Be sure to include the hotel's name, room number and telephone number in your exposure letter or note

4. Remove every article of clothing and personal belongings of your WW from your home to your front lawn. Be sure to include wedding pics. Include all articles of her underwear in the same box with the pics.

5. Change the locks on YOUR home.

6. Stay at home and under no circumstances should you answer the phone and especially DO NOT open the door to anyone other than a police officer.

Or do nothing if your desire is to travel down this same road a third or fourth time or until you lose any semblance of self respect.