Oprah did a show today on why men men cheat. ANyone catch it? Any thoughts?

I thought it was good. Some important things re As were not discussed but they said there will be a second installment on affair proofing next week.

Gary Neuman has a new book coming out on cheating. You can DL it for free on Oprah.com for the next 24 hours.

Gary surveyed many men about why they cheat. He found(I'm translating it to MB lingo) admiration is typically a top EN of men and how many men cite that EN not being met as the reason they feel they were vulnerable to having an A.

Oh, re snooping...Gary said men RARELY will fess up and it is necessary to snoop via cell records, GPS and if you can't confirm the A...then to ask for a polygraph.

Wonderful. I'm a day late and a dollar too short on the snooping thing. I blindly trusted when I shouldn't have and bought the stories over and over again that just didn't add up.

Now its too little too late.

My H travels for business, so who knows how many/what cities, etc.

He's admitted to EAs, but my gut tells me there's more, for various reasons.

He'd never admit it.

Sorry. Just having a rough day topped off by a really rough night of H currently being MIA... with his cell phone off and out to dinner for the past TWO HOURS "with the client". Who knows if this "client" is male or female. My guess is it is a date disguised as a business dinner. He's done this a ton before.

Why do I put myself through this?!?

I'm sorry guys, I'm just really freaking-- my stomach is in knots and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep until he's accounted for. My mind is going a million miles a minute.

See my thread in "in recovery" if you want more... or to keep me entertained until my disappearing magician of an out-of-town cheater hubby decides to re-appear and account for his whereabouts...

E.

I would think the lack of SF would be the #1 reason for an affair but not always the case I guess. He actually made it sound like men wanted affection and the ones who didn't get it also had affairs. Lack of admiration and respect I can see that being an important EN. My H never gave me affection ever. He knew it was important but ignored it. I got used to it and became cold. I stopped giving him affection since I never got it back and always initiated. I think then he missed it. It has to be mutual. I love gobs of affection but if I felt like I was doing all the work to give it but not get it so I felt unloved and unwanted.

I don't think anywhere during the show how they made it a point of how wrong it is thought to have an affair. They listed the reasons but didn't say anything about it being wrong. I mean it's almost like saying "If you feel this way too it's ok to have an affair".

One guys was getting it all from his wife. Sex every night, affection, love...and he still cheated. She was still with him too. How do you beat that? You are doing everything rigt and your man still cheats? That sucks.

Any idea of who he's cheating with and how? Does he use a cell phone or computer? If so, get a keylogger for the computer. I'm trying to find some good cell phone spyware where I won't get ripped off. You could also try a digital recorder in his car.
I am also too late on the spying. I was so trusting for so long. I really let my guard down and boy do I kick myself for that one.