On September 27th, it will be one year to the day since you emailed my W and the A began. You took opportunity when my marriage was most vulnerable. Putting your own wife’s needs aside, you started showering mine with praise and warmth. She avoided you at first but the temptation of a fantasy world was too compelling. As if under some magical spell, no – rancid curse, down the rabbit hole she went leaving behind her faithful husband and three young kids.

But the story did not end there. I found this forum. I studied and I learned. I got great advice from those who traveled the path before me. I became educated about the ways of Plan A, the carrot and the stick. I exposed to your W, and boy did you get yours – she kicked you out of the house and burned all of your clothes to ashes. Call it schadenfreude but I reveled in the fact that your household was now in the same sh#t storm as mine. I was so reluctant to expose but sure am glad I did.

My WW was furious. “I blew it,” she said, “I was going to try to reconcile but not after this.” I heard it all but just continued my Plan A. I became a great dad. I showed my wife that the man I was becoming could easily win husband and father of the year. I tried to meet her needs and expected nothing in return. I made our home a safe and comfortable place. Even my kids were astonished at how much I had changed for the better.

With help from the boards, independent counseling, marriage counseling, and a heck of a lot of work, my marriage slowly started to recover. In a warped sort of way, the ugliness of the affair left behind enough compost and manure for our marriage to truly blossom. Today, I have the relationship that I never thought possible. My wife tells me I am a great husband, fantastic father, and wonderful man. She is ashamed and regretful of the choices she made and even more remorseful about the pain she caused. She recognizes triggers and provides comfort. She tries to anticipate my needs and keep me fulfilled. She is the love of my life and truly my best friend.

Happy Anniversary, PSOM. You took from me what I valued most. What I got in return, however, is so much more.

So glad things are going well for you! And thanks for posting this to give the newbies hope.

Dancin' in the streets...

Mark

I just love this phrase. Can I borrow it?

Borrow it? You can have it!

I posted my little rant here to provide encouragement for the folks that are struggling. I am by no means fully recovered but can attest that we enjoy each other now more than ever. We will certainly be further tested down the road but armed with new knowledge and a better understanding, we are far more prepared.

I saw some statistics on Fox News a while ago - I think it was when the John Edwards news broke. 1 in 2.7 marriages suffer from infidelity. 60% of men and 40% of women stray. 32% of marriages survive. I would like to think the number of marriages that recover are much higher when MB concepts are used.

- Sh0cked

Thank you. I may use in a book that I am trying to get off the ground.

Much obliged.

Very well said Sh0cked...It's always wonderful to hear success stories around here!!!!

Mrs. W

Wow.

sh0cked...

You rock!!!

Nice post.

I (finally) saw you post to me over in Recovery, and responded, but it may have dropped of the page. I'll put it back up on top!

Glad things are going well. Your Positive Mental Attitude and hard work is now paying dividends. It will only get better and better!

sd

Thanks, SD. A lot of my success I owe to you, Mark, and Longhorn. You folks helped me regain focus when I wandered off the path.

My best to you and yours. Please stay in touch - I owe you a round.

- Sh0cked

Congrats to you, Sh0cked! We are doing well, also, and you inspired me to post an update, too!!

Best wishes!