I have not seen XH in one year. This is the tournament weekend for my ball team, and I have not seen XH since this same tourney last year.

Well, I saw him tonight.

And OW. And, she is much, um, larger let's say then I am. And, not quite as attractive (not to toot my own horn... I have my own problems)

So, why? I find her incredibly nasty and it bothers me that he left me for HER. I was talking about this with my current bf, and he says he doesn't get it either (it was his first time seeing OW) and thinks he is nuts for letting me go (although, he is quite glad for obvious reasons)

Anyway, it is kinda bugging me. I just needed to vent I guess.

WS's always downgrade, nothing puzzleing about that.

Why you have a BF before your divorce is final is a puzzlement though. Not the best way to go through personal recovery, or to try and recover a marriage. Also not the best way to ensure that nobody else gets hurt, like in a rebound R.

If you had moved on enough to have a BF, the looks of your husband's adultry partner wouldn't really matter.

People should divorce before they start dating, is all I'm saying.

Anyway, yes they always downgrade.

Well, unfortunately, in my part of the world, divorce cannot be accomplished overnight.

I must live separate and apart for the minimum of one year before filing, then, after the petition was filed, wait for at least a month before divorce proceedings begin. Then, add to that the amount of time it takes for the courts to actually sign off on the case.

Let me put it this way. A good friend of mine filed for divorce four years ago, and is still trying to get it through the courts. My uncontested divorce was filed in March, and still nothing.

Why does it bother me? Because I deal with low self esteem as a result. It was a nice reminder of just how hideous it made me feel when I saw her the first time.

Also, have no fear about my current relationship. Both of us are very happy, very much in love, and very much committed. No hurt feelings, no rebounds... trust me.

Yeah, that was a little harsh. It seems like people don't go through all the healing and self reflection time before they get serious with someone else after a very painful divorce, and this just delays the whole process. And sometimes they end up in the same type of R.

But I did forget how long a divorce process can take in some parts of the world. I know I have friends in Canada who have a very, very long waiting periods. When kids are involved I think this might serve a really good purpose, though.

I waited too long to start dating after my DD's dad and I broke up. I probably should have dated casually during those four years, instead of doing the extreme opposite and then falling madly in love with a loser. How ironic, eh?


This doesn't reflect on you in the slightest. When you get to the point where your self esteem is healthy and strong, no one can ever make you feel bad about yourself again. And if it does happen it is momentary and fleeting. It's a process and doing things that are esteemable, that help you grow in confidence is the best thing a person can ever do.

But anyway like I said the majority of WS's on here have left with or have affairs with people that aren't one tenth the quality of their BS. That is a reflection on the WS and how messed up they are, not a reflection of the BS.

I have been told that the OW decided after Friday night's game that she would not return to the tournament for the rest of the weekend because she felt uncomfortable about me being there. (which really means, she knows she is a nasty disgusting troll, and she does not want to be compared to me)

I feel so much better. Seriously. And even better would be if all they did was fight about it when XH got home.

Anyway, XH kept his distance, although my sister tells me he was watching my every move (until she caught him looking and he got all embarrassed and hurriedly looked away)Hopefully today my team will pull out a win (or three) and take the top prize in this tourney. Wish us luck!

I understand completely. My WstbxH and I play in the same league. All the teams play at the same park every week. On our tournament day, he and OW actually had the nerve to join my group for lunch. He sat down on the blanket next to me and OW hung off in the distance, clearly uncomfortable. She is an ugly old hag. At the banquet that night, they showed up and I was unfortunately not prepared for this (he never wanted to go to that thing - I had to drag him there kicking and screaming or go alone). Unfortunately, I wasn't nearly as classy then. But she's still an ugly ho.

I don't know if this feeling ever goes away. It bothers me because they will probably be out for baseball again next year, even though there are a dozen leagues he can play on and only one that I can play on. I hope it passes someday.

And as far as the comment about dating before your divorce, I believe you are Canadian as well, correct? That piece of paper means nothing here. I've had an LSA for 16 months - it's the equivalent of an American divorce. I'm dating too.

women really seem to focus on what the other woman looks like...and she is always uglier for some reason...focus on yourself since beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. I am sure that Cindy McCain is veiwed as unattractive by many women since she was the OW....but, reality and our perceptions are not always the same. A current BF is not the most objective person in the world.

Do yourself a favor and don't get sucked into this stupid game. Feel good about yourself and everything else won't matter. And as has been seen with Tabby, perhaps it is best to not involve yourself in recreation activities that include your WH.

Meh... I have a little more self control then Tabby! (Just teasing you girl!)

Anyway, she doesn't really bother me. I just find her ugly. Really ugly. And, I would never say anything to her (or him) because frankly, I don't care for either one of them. (After the smug face she made the day I showed up on her doorstep... she came close to losing teeth then, but like I said... self control)

So... OW refused to return to the tournament this weekend, because (and I quote) "WH's wife is here." This came from XH's teammates (they were chatting and my sister was standing right next to them and overheard)

I LOVE that I have all of the power. She is afraid to be anywhere I am, and I love it! hahaha!

Anyway, my team won... and his team did not.

Good job on the win! And I'm glad OW didn't ruin your weekend.

Your hubby MUST realize that he chose a dog.