Check out the emotional needs questionnaire here and see if you can ID his top ones, then start meeting them.

Admiration is usually very high for men.

If you are using a home computer to come to MB, be sure to clean your history and temp files after each visit. Some waywards launch a counter snoop on the betrayed spouse once they know they are being watched.

HOw do you clear the history and temp files?

Go to the Control Panel
Internet Options
Delete Browsing History
Delete Temporary Internet Files
Delete History.

He doesn't call her from his cell phone that you know about. He may have gotten another one. Plus if they work together they might take breaks together and sit in the car and talk, or go get something to eat, or whatever.

I'm very sorry you're here, but there's no better place to be if you need a place like this.

In addition to meeting his top ENs, read up on Love Busters (LBs) and eliminate them. One LB can undo a lot of EN meeting.

And as much as you want to question or hint or pry info out of him, don't. Wait and do the strong Plan A until you have solid proof.

Yes, I think this one is high for him. However, it is hard to find something to admire about him when all he does is come home and plop in front of the tv and do nothing. Including mow the lawn that is over a foot tall for the umteenth time this summer. Sigh.

I get on mostly from work. I will keep this in mind if I log on from home though, thanks for the reminder!

Well he doesn't call her from his cell phone that I have the account on...I can check that daily. I would be very surprised to find out he has gotten another cell phone. I have a feeling that he calls her from his phone in his office. That would not surprise me at all.



yes, this is a real possibility.



Actually after posting yesterday I feel a bit more steady regarding all of this. It makes me feel not crazy to have my fears about everything confirmed. WH has done a pretty good job in the last couple months convincing me that I am acting crazy when I bring up my fears about what is going on.


This I am doing. Its hard but I have to keep reminding myself that I am in Plan A and that helps.


This I am doing as well.

"Actually after posting yesterday I feel a bit more steady regarding all of this. It makes me feel not crazy to have my fears about everything confirmed. WH has done a pretty good job in the last couple months convincing me that I am acting crazy when I bring up my fears about what is going on."

This is called gaslighting and is very common. My ex did that to me, to the point where I started doubting myself.

This is truly the point where I am at. I actually have to keep reminding myself of the things I have seen and found. He truly has me convinced (or did anyway) that I was being crazy.

I have this image in my head of (when I find out where he's meeting her) of sitting on the hood of his (its actually MY car, grr) car and waiting for him to come out just to see his face when I say "So, you're not THAT guy, huh?" and walk away. I don't know if this is a good idea or even something that I will or should do, but never the less, its the image I am holding in my head....Its keeping me strong.

If we are correct in our assumption that for them to "hang out" includes sexual contact, you need to strongly consider getting tested for STD's and refrain from any SF with your WH. Waywards are notorious for having unprotected sex.

It just gets better and better huh?

I am waiting on my health insurance to kick in then I am so there.

He's not interested in having sex with me anyway. Its my top EN and seems to be his bottom EN.

Gah, I am so sick to my stomach. The GPS device will be delivered today according to ups. I am wishing I had it last week now. Or six months ago.

I feel like such a fool. I always wondered what the significance of the timing on their texting and calling was, it seemed like it was a barrage all the sudden. Turns out I believe that she went from a land line to a cell phone at that time...their contact actually started a month earlier then I thought. And only a month after he started his new job. I am literally sick over this as I pushed him to take this job...I thought he would love it, it seemed like the perfect position for him. Now I wish I would have kept my mouth shut.

I really hate this.

I am sorry you are going through this.

After reading the text exchanges between your H and the OW, I must say, your H sounds like a needy whinebag. If he is her boss, he sure is being clingy and unprofessional - even the OW seems put off.

They also seem to be very obvious that something is going on between them. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon.

Fin,

Is the OW married?

To the best of my knowledge (according to my WH) she is either going through a divorce (her second - 3 kids from 2 marriages and she has custody of neither) or is divorced already. Then again who knows as I have no direct knowledge for myself.

Thank you.


Yeah he kinda is. But he's MY needy whinebag. For now anyway.



This has always been my opinion about this. I really believe that the message exchange between them was NOT something that should have been from another woman, but something that should have come from me. The fact that it came from the OW just makes me even more positive that there is something going on between them. It seemed like he was flirting by playing coy...and she was flirting as well.


Thank you. The GPS arrives today according to the ups website. I will be putting it in his car tonight if I can figure out how it works fast enough. It will either prove he is cheating on me or help me with my peace of mind.

Sounds like a Mommy Dearest.

That's right, you said this earlier. I forgot.


This is usually a lie.

Hang in there Fin. You have been doing great so far. Once the smoking gun is found it will get real busy.


I sensed the same irritation in the OW with his pouty responses to her. This is a good thing.

I am guessing this means exactly what I think it does.....and that doesn't surprise me then that he became involved with her. Piss me off yes, surprise me...no.




That is what I figured. I am having a hard time finding any information on her though.



Would you think my idea of sitting on the hood of his car is an effective "you're busted" ?


Well that's something at least.

Only if you can control yourself and have no fear of him controlling himself. The OW is a wild card too that you have no control over. We have seen MB members (including one of our all time favorites) end up in jail for the night due to this type of confrontation. It's chancy to say the least. Personally, I wished I had confronted this way. If you did it this way, bring your brother or someone else. Don't do it alone and don't touch anyone.

I will have to see how I feel about it if it gets to that point. And I will bring my brother although I have no real fear that my WH would do anything to me. I just don't see any other way (right now anyway) to get him to believe that I actually know what is going on....and prove to myself that I am not crazy. I am afraid that he might be able to convince me even after I KNOW that I am just dreaming. At least this way there will be no mistaking it. Or that is what is going through my head right now anyway.