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Ah, yes, considering one of my closest friends is from Dundalk-hon, I'm surprised I din 'member at.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Hey all! First I am sorry I didn't think to ask for input and SL's contact info before today! This trip came up rather last minute and it's a quick fly in and fly out. I'm only here for the one night and unfortunately, I am stuck in my room working on my budget that was due an hour ago!! We are thinking of trying to go the RL Steamers as suggested. I'm only 15 minutes from there right now,,,staying not far from the airport (close to my customer locations). I promise to check in here first before I venture out to new places in the future! I feel pretty stupid for not thinking about this in advance!! SHM - OK, bells and alarms went off when I read this...this is one of moments when, during this time when you are both holding your cards very close to you, he just showed you his hand...but you still don't know what the game is... yes, those bells and alarms went off for me, too, but due to my recent overstepping too soon, I shut off the alarms. I thought it was a show of his hand to tell me that,,,but I just didn't want to make too much of it. I don't know that HE realizes what he is doing by sharing this type of information. Does he even acknowledge that he is showing concern for me & my feelings? I think he's put it in the catagory of not getting the EX upset and thinking the wrong thing?? I considered sending the volly back, but instead of being direct I chose the 'friendly' route. He emailed me a 'political' email again this morning, so I started an exchange with him. I asked about his political discussions with DSS, who has been talking more about politics since his government class this summer. We had a brief exchange, and now back to silence from him. I had considered letting him know that I think it's great that he's willing to help out his BF's niece. For those of you with 'concerns', this would be the same as if it were his blood relative. He's been like an uncle to her since she was a baby. LG, i can appreciate your concern over someone with addition problems helping someone in this sitch - but I am of the opinion that there isn't anyone better to help than someone who has walked that path (or a similar one). My BIL is a recovered alcoholic and has helped both of my nephews, and his own daughter recover from different additions. I don't want to start a debate, but wanted to acknowledge your concern and let you know that I'd thought about it. I have to get back to my budget work for now. I'll let you know tomorrow if I have time to find out how much B-more Rox!!!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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That's okay Bugsy, I went ahead and ventured out to Canton with some friends. Spent a couple of beers at Looney's Pub and then headed across the square to Vicarro's for some gellato and Napoleon (chocolate vanilla--yyyyyummmm). Good thing I went for that walk this morning, eh. So sorry you couldn't join me, missy. Maybe some day, I'll get a chance to meet all my MB favs.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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For those of you with 'concerns', this would be the same as if it were his blood relative. He's been like an uncle to her since she was a baby. Sorry, I am not that close with the extended family of my friends. If he is like an uncle than my concern has dropped.
Brokenhusband Married 12 years Me 35 DW 33 DD 12 DD 10 DS 8
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Morning.
Well, SL, glad you had a nice evening! We went down to the inner harbor later in the evening and it was really nice. Would have been better if I'd planned in advance (and not had co-worker with me)
Mom called last night. Lila is having her surgery today at 9 a.m. to put in the shunt to relieve the pressure in her brain. I hope to hear something by noon about how it goes.
I called Drac after we got back to the hotel to tell him about Lila. We ended up talking for over 30 minutes. Everything from the baby, to Ladybug, to DSS, to the bar he goes to on Tues. It was rather like old times.
So, today up and at em to another customer meeting and then straight to the airport.
Keep those thoughts & prayers coming for our baby girl! I'll try to post when I get an update.
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Hoping Baby Lila did ok in surgery....
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Great news!! Baby Lila is going very well!
Surgery went well yesterday. One shunt was inserted and the pressue is already starting to be relieved. The Best news is that despite the xrays showing that her brain was possibly underdeveloped, that is not the case. It was the compression caused by the fluid that made it appear that way.
So she is flat on her back for 24 hourss (now only 5 1/2 to go). They slowly raise her head over the next 24. Then, hopefully, by Sunday they may be coming home!!
It is a gradual draining of the fluid so that her brain does not bleed. Then, it's a lifetime of monitoring. In 2-3 months, we will know better the long term damage (if any), and then have an idea of what the future will hold. We have already claimed the promise of a full healing for her!!
God has certainly been watching over her and our family through all of this. Thanks to you all for your thoughts and prayers!!
Ladybug started dance class again last night. Drac took care of getting her new dance shoes and bag for class. They went to 'visit' the boxer puppy they are getting in a few weeks. That should be very interesting,,,,Drac having to be home for puppy care & training? DD is, of course, over the moon with the thought of a new puppy.
After talking to the kids last night I asked to talk to Drac, to coordinate DSS's football this weekend. Ended up talking for another 30 minutes or so, again just about a variety of subjects. I used the opportunity to give admiration, etc. He seems to be getting more open and comfortable every time. I brought it to a close this time, which seemed to surprise him a bit. He said, 'ok, talk to you soon. Well, definately no later than Saturday' My standard ending these past couple of nights has been 'sweet dreams'.
I'm outta here early today for work. Being out of town puts me so far behind and I have conference calls all day on top of it. Ladybug is spending the night with a friend, so maybe I can catch up later tonight.
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Fantastic news about Lila!
I'll continue to pray that all future reports are well with her also. It's actually pretty amazing the number of medical stories I've been hearing about lately where a strange problem pops up and scares the family, only to find that it's relatively easily treatable, and uncovers a 'hidden' problem that could have potentially been life threatening if left undiscovered..
Is it odd or is it God as Queenie is fond of saying..
I firmly believe it's the latter.
Just a reminder that God is always at work, even on our waywards, softly speaking to them always to be obedient and serve His will.
I feel so blessed that I know so many here who have chosen to listen to His voice.
Been a rough couple weeks for me.. still not really emotionally ready to add to my post, but wanted to thank you for yet another tick on the 'rejoice' side of my prayer sheet.
J
Me - 32 DS - 5 DD - 13 DSD - 9 D final 12-8-08
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My godfather was sick with a cold last week. They took a chest CT scan and found pnumonia. So he got his dose of anti-biotics, and is recovering rapidly. Then he gets the call that there is something "else" they have found on his scan. Instructions are to get into his physician right away. As he has been a lifelong smoker, I suspect they have found lung cancer. But again -- this would never have been discovered if he didn't get an ordinary cold....which really turns out to be a blessing.
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Lexxxy,
Remember my mom was in that same boat of having broken her breast bone a couple of months ago & they found 'something else'. Also a lifelong smoker, we were very worried. Turns out it is not cancer! I'll be praying the same result for your godfather!!!
Best news I have today is that little Miss Lila came home yesterday!! Praise God! What a blessing and miracle He has done in our sitch!! There's lots to do down the road, but it all is looking very, very good for her.
It was particularly special because yesterday was my sister's birthday!! What a gift to have her granddaughter come home on that day.
We had a good weekend here, too. Saturday was DSS football. Starting with phone call from Drac that he was following the bus, and they were lost!! ha! Turns out the school listed on the website had the wrong address. I went to the wrong school, too. After 3 phone calls, we all finally arrived at the game.
Usual standing close, chatting, same as last week. I wore the shirt he bought for me, and he did comment on it. DSS's team won, and he even played a few downs this time. They had to stay until 1/2 time of the next game, so we all stayed, including Drac. The boys talked coach into stopping to get something to eat on the way back, so Ladybug and I were stopping to eat as well before picking him up from the bus. We said goodbye to Drac, no hug for Bugs this time around.
We were pulling into the restaurant when Drac called - he turned the wrong direction out of the school & was asking directions (which I'd already given him before we left). So, after getting him turned around, I mentioned that we'd stopped if he wanted to join us. To my surprise, he did. Nothing extra special happened or was said, but it is the first time we've had a meal together in a long, long time.
He'd made a point to tell me that Friday night he fell asleep early & slept all night. Saturday, he told me his BF's niece wasn't coming up as she had other plans for her birthday weekend. Maybe she'll come in a couple of weeks, since he has the kids next weekend and as he isn't sure of her sitch, he doesn't want the kids around her until he's had a chance to check it out first.
Yesterday we went shopping and finally bought some new living room furniture! It's being delivered today. We went out to eat & had a great time. I sent Drac a TM that we'd be late. When we arrived, he was in the garage cleaning. We had the tunes blasting when we pulled in. I kept them going while the kids went inside. Ladybug had her mid-term report to show him.
I wasn't paying attention when he walked up to the car. He had my old letterman jacket in his hand. He put it in the back, saying he'd found it and another jacket in a box. He wasn't sure where the other one was, but he'd find it for me. I said thanks, but didn't really engage in conversation. They went back inside to get Ladybugs papers, she came out and that was it.
We relaxed at home & had a nice quiet evening. I think he's enjoying my company but has really put me into the 'friendly co-parent' bucket and intends to leave me there. We'll see. I'm doing ok with the sitch as it stands for now. He's getting some deposits in his bank even if he doesn't realize it. For me, there's no major withdrawls from my bank, so I'm good for now. I'm just trusting that I'll know what to do and when in regard to him,,,, if anything. It's really in God's hands.
Hoping this week is better than last week at work!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Hey Bugs,
I'm glad that Lila is doing well. That was a scary thing. I hate when children are sick or wounded.
Making deposits in Drac's love bank is good, but be careful not to let him make too many in yours. They will compound at a faster rate than yours in his, and I don't want to see you hurt again if he does a big withdrawl. He still isn't quite "getting it."
BS - me 56 XWH - 57
12/25/06 - Dday - WH promised NC. Plan A in effect. Thought we were in recovery.
6-3-07 - Dday#2 Found out NC never took place and A never ended. Found MB NC promised again, but WH would not write NC letter.
9/07 - Dday #3. Still lying and sneaking around. Plan B implemented WH wants nothing to do with me
Divorced as of 12/09 after 36 years
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To ME, it's soo like he's getting the message that you are able to be his friend..that you are ACCEPTING a position as his friend... although he divorced you.
I don't think I could bear to do it...
As I read about your situation, he continually pisses ME off...
When is he going to say he's sorry..when is he going to evidence being sorry for breaking up his family..
It seems the likelihood of that happening is lowered the nicer that you are to him..
Maybe I'm missing something that I'm supposed to be getting...
But, of course, I've never had been in your situation...
MAYBE that's why I can't relate or understand...
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Hi Bugs, I think he's enjoying my company but has really put me into the 'friendly co-parent' bucket and intends to leave me there. Just curious....would you be OK if this is ALL Drac is interested in? Since he's not 'committing' to anything....this leaves it open to him 'springing up' a date on you, and risk major WITHDRAWLS in your LoveB. :RollieEyes:
XBW DS16 & DS22 PLAN D: finalized!
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You all are on the right track, of that I have no doubt. Although I think that in Drac's case, it is necessary in his mind for us to first be 'friends' again, I realize that may be all there ever is to it for him.
As for me, perhaps I am hoping that he will finally withdraw enough from my lovebank for me to finally be done and over it all??
I'm not sure. Part of me thinks yes. Part of me thinks no.
Just when I think that is where we are, he does something to make me wonder. Like tonight. Earlier I had to email him about daycare costs for Ladybug. He made a big deal out of the fact that he was paying the FULL year in advance. I knew then that he had not taken into account the off days when she would need all day care OR the early out days that will also cost more. I didn't say anthing at the time. I was waiting for the opportunity to bring it up. This is what caused 'issues' with payment last year.
So tonight she had a note in her bag that an early out is coming up soon. I emailed and asked if he'd paid for those days in advance, too. He replied that he didn't know when they were. O replied back that I didn't either, unless they were on the schedule OR more likely, when they send a note home like today.
His response was "Let me know. There's a bank down the street I can rob.".
I didn't buy into his 'oh poor me thing', but took it as a joke and responded with, "Sorry, I already have that one staked out for myself. I hear they have great safety deposit boxes. I am hoping for cash AND diamonds!"
He didn't respond.
Then, he just sent me a couple of text messages,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm not sure yet where it's going, but it's a bit flirty. I'm responding in between phone calls with Stalkerboy (who as it turns out is an incredibly nice guy who I seem to have a lot in common with).
I'll let you all know how BOTH communications turn out later!
Hey,,,,,,,,,,did I just type what I thought I did? do I have 2 guys on the 'line' at one time? Who woudda thunk that?? NOT ME??!!!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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LMAO, that's funny...is that part of the Diva style or what? I was thinkin it was part of the process of moving on myself...
Just had to chime in on that one!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Definately Diva style! haha!
Turns out I had a really nice conversation with Stalkerboy - in fact, I think I'll change his name to just V. We have a dinner date Saturday night. I'm looking forward to it.
The texts with Drac didn't go too far. It's like I said last night, he goes just far enough to make me wonder what he's thinking.
I have to get to work early today, so I don't really have time to go into thinking too much about it. It is what it is at this point in time. We'll see what, if anything, it is in the future when it happens (or not)
Have a great day everyone!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Bugs -- dinner date with V sounds GREAT!!! Way to go girl!
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Go, Bugs!!! Fox
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Hey,,,,,,,,,,did I just type what I thought I did? do I have 2 guys on the 'line' at one time? Who woudda thunk that?? NOT ME??!!! I WOUDDA! YEA for V!!
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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ahem....I believe it is 4 guys on the line....
V Drac MCD ohio guy
am I counting wrong?
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