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MoDaisy,
Why would you believe the words of an ACTIVE ADULTERER?
Mrs. W It is because he is not nor has ever been a BS or WS. He advised another poster that snooping via keylogger was unChristian or something along those lines in another thread. During my H's EA, he started "falling asleep" on the couch watching TV or going into the guest bedroom (because it was cooler and our room was too hot)...and I'm sure he was telling his OW that we were "technically separated". This is something commonly done by the Wayward = marital history rewrite, affair justification. MoDaisy, can you acknowledge that you won't understand some of these concepts if your M hasn't been affected by an A??
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I do not agree that it is the continuation of an affair - They are married. Well all WSs that come here will be so happy to know that they can legitimize their affairs [in your eyes] by simply providing a certificate of marriage... Unbelievable...Does your wife know that you think like this MoDaisy? She ought to... Mrs. W I didnt say ALL - I said that in THIS CASE -
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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MoDaisy,
Why would you believe the words of an ACTIVE ADULTERER? ETA: The words about the OM's betrayed spouse no less...The rationalizations and justifications for their affair...
Mrs. W
IMO she is as active an adulterer as anyone involved in a second marriage -
I have no reason to believe any thing other than what she states - She isnt talking to her husband. She is talking to "us" and she didnt have to tell us anything about their past. Allow me to educate you...Active adulterers LIE...I know, because, sadly, I was one...Do you honestly believe that on the day they received their marriage certificate they suddenly got honest? She is here NOW, because even she KNOWS the dishonesty that he is capable of...And I sure haven't seen any evidence to show any change of heart on the part of S&D...To me as long as she remains in her adulterous relationship her words are HIGHLY suspect...ESPECIALLY as long as she continues to RATIONALIZE and JUSTIFY her adultery... Mrs. W P.S. For the record, I'm not even sure this story is REAL...It is certainly not out of the realm of possibility for S&D to be a troll just trying to stir trouble on the board...
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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You do not know if this affair caused anyone pain OMG, this has to be the biggest "pooh for brains" comment I have ever seen on this site.
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Dear MoDaisy,
After reading thousands upon thousands of stories here for 8+ years, I can assure you that adultery-based marriages cause their victims (the BS & their children) enormous and indescribable pain.
Even Dr Harley (the founder and owner of this Private board you are posting on) writes the pain the betrayed spouse feels from an affair is tantamount to the death of a child or being raped.
As a F-BS myself, I will attest that Dr. Harley is 100% correct in his assessment.
If you wish, I will link Dr Harley's article so you can become better educated with his concepts. Just say the word.
Blessings,
Jo
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Yes - I have read the stories - and I know the pain.
I read her story and have decided to accept her words for what they are. If she contradicts herself or gives me reason to think otherwise then I will no longer post -
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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I didnt say ALL - I said that in THIS CASE - So then I was spot on before when I said that you practice moral relativity, right? Why is "this case" any different than others? Because of a "marriage certificate"? HUH? You do realize that most all affairees presume that their affairs will make it to the altar and that they are SOOOOO SPECIAL that they will live happily ever after right? What you are saying is that if they make it to the altar THEN it's okay and "meant to be"...That is the logical conclusion of your arguments here MoDaisy... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Have you been rapped or lost a child?
You can post a link to whatever you think I should be aware of.
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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Yes - I have read the stories - and I know the pain.
I read her story and have decided to accept her words for what they are. If she contradicts herself or gives me reason to think otherwise then I will no longer post - Fine...You are more than welcome to do that...Post away to her with your brand of help and kindly allow others to do the same... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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YES - She is married and asking for MARRIAGE ADVICE. If you think that her marriage is illigetimate then do not offer her advice -
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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All I want is for him to end the affair and work on putting our marriage back together. well apparently he's a married guy who thinks it's OK to flirt with other women but you already knew that - this is not big news
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The first pass at logic. I do not agree that it is the continuation of an affair - They are married. followed by this: IMO she is as active an adulterer as anyone involved in a second marriage - So lets follow this logic, shall we? In your eyes, this is a valid marraige. BUT wait! This is a second marriage. Following this logic second marriage = affair. There you have it.
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Have you been rapped or lost a child?
You can post a link to whatever you think I should be aware of. For privacy reasons, I would prefer to defer your first question and hope you would take my word that I know the pain is equal. As far as losing a child, we have several members, with Melody Lane being one that have confirmed her pain of being betrayed was indeed equivalent or greater than losing her son. Its eye opening, isn't it. Jo eta: I'll dig up the link for you in a bit, k?
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YES - She is married and asking for MARRIAGE ADVICE. If you think that her marriage is illigetimate then do not offer her advice - That is your opinion...I have mine and just as much right to state it...I think you will find your attempts to control others here futile MoDaisy... I am very grateful that no one here told me that my affair was a-okay when I first arrived...Which believe me is what I WANTED to hear...No, instead they told me that what I was doing was HORRIBLE...They told me what I NEEDED to hear...So that is what I will do for S&D...Thanks! Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I didnt tell her that her affair was ok - And I do not think that any affair is ok -
"We have been together 7 years and will have been married for 4 years tomorrow."
The time to revisit that old news is DONE - She is now involved in a marriage of 4 years that has produced a child -
I think that she deserves advice that will help her with THIS marriage. All she can do at this time is the NEXT right thing as time cannot go back.
There is a child of THIS marriage that deserves THIS marriage to work.
I do not like that she cheated her husband despite his faults and I do not like the fact that she cheated the OW out of her husband.
I HATE THE SIN - I love the sinner and she has asked for help.
I am done defending my position to the rest of you and I will no longer directly address YOU in your opinions. I will offer advice that I think will be helpful to THIS poster.
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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Have you been rapped or lost a child?
You can post a link to whatever you think I should be aware of. Yes, she can. I am one. And Dr Harley, a CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST has treated adultery victims for 35 years makes this very claim. HE has credentials, you don't. But the bigger question remains, WHY are you posting "advice" on a subject about which you KNOW NOTHING? You have no experience, no credentials, no qualifications, absolutely no understanding of the dynamics of adultery, yet here you are posting...  I am BAFFLED, frankly. Have you considered posting "advice" on the general denistry forum where you won't be so dangerous? I have seen you post DREADFUL advice to newcomers who come here in the depths of despair. They don't know that you haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about. Why do you feel compelled to post to people about a subject in which you clearly have no knowledge? Please spare us all and go post on the general dentistry or the rocket science forum where you won't cause so much damage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I am done defending my position to the rest of you and I will no longer directly address YOU in your opinions. Thank you. I would appreciate that. Mrs. W P.S. Currently the child is being raised in a very sick adulterous household...Very sad that the child will suffer based upon the selfish choices of her parents - she will suffer if they stay together or if they are apart...very sad indeed...This is a perfect opportunity for her parents to DEMONSTRATE doing the RIGHT thing to her though...To show her that the issue of adultery IS black and white...That many times in life we must do things because they are the RIGHT thing to do regardless of our human very fickle feelings...I believe they should seize this opportunity to model the RIGHT behavior for their child...Lest she grow up believing that adultery is okay...
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I have seen you post DREADFUL advice to newcomers who come here in the depths of despair. yep....me too.
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...I believe they should seize this opportunity to model the RIGHT behavior for their child...Lest she grow up believing that adultery is okay...
And what is the right thing?
Do you have kids?
If we are consumed with highlighting our spouses falling short, we will miss the divine mysteries of marriage and the lessons that it has to teach us. As long as a couple is married they continue to display “however imperfectly” the ongoing commitment between Christ and his church. Thus, simply “sticking it out” becomes vitally important. Just sticking it out is victory in and of itself and creates a certain glory. Sacred Marriage
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Modaisy...isn't it a wonder that this board ever got along without your valuable input?
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