You are welcomed to give advice to the poster - I am sure that he is able to read differing opinions and decide which opinion he feels is best to act on.

MoDaisy

Im going to assume you have never been a BS. As such, you couldnt possibly know what it is like to find out after the fact that everyone knows your spouse has been screwing around and you are last to know. You couldnt possibly know the humiliation, the utter bewilderment that someone could know and NOT tell you.

I do.

You speak of REVENGE and a desire to tell a BS . The best revenge would be for someone to NOT tell the BS.

But , you wouldnt know that and yet you post to people as if you have some firsthand experience or insight.

Unbelieveable

I agree wholeheartedly that his wife has every right to know. I was the last one to find out when my WS cheated on me, I felt like the laughingstock of the neighborhood, and no one bothered to tell me. We all have the right to make an informed decision.

I am so glad you are kicking her to the curb and moving on, the relief you feel is because the tension inside of you has finally sprung loose! If I hadn't been married when my WS cheated on me, we wouldn't have become married.

MD is also against snooping to find out about an affair. I would bet that MD is either a WS or a FWS with a bad attitude.

ahhh. I see. Because maintaining privacy and enabling is more important to the WS. It would be a violation , after all. Doesnt matter about the colossal violation done to the BS by the WS having the affair.

That says it all.

Hi all, thanks so much for your kind words of advice and support, its helping me tremendously.

I have thought about what to do with the OMW. I agree she should know about him. My only concern is that this guy associates with some nasty people, and im sure he knows where my mum lives coz i remember on several occasions my ex had him pick her up from out front of my mums house when i was not there, saying gf picked her up and took her home. When you trust someone you dont think anything of it, now i do!

I dont want him or his mates retaliating against my mum who is 75 and not well. This may seem like a trivial thing to some but my mum and my familys well being is paramount to me. I just dont know how much the [censored] has told him about me and my family.

Either way Im willing to take a chance and tell OMW or at least make the affair known to the people in his office to humiliate him and maybe through the grape vine it will filter through to his wife.

He works in a government department and i know they have a code of conduct relating to clients and making sexual advances toward them, i know this coz i have contracts with government departments and that particular one is drilled into all contractors and employees.

I will need more proof than i already have to back this one up if i do this, my word and some evidence can easily be argued away by him, maybe if i fling enough mud some will stick??

i really want to jump into an 18 wheeler and run the [censored] over. I never knew i could hate someone as much as i hate him and everything he stands for. He knew my ex was having trouble with me and he fed on that and took advantage of her..

My ex called me last night crying begging me not to go..How pathetic. Im seeing her for what she is more and more. Im so glad i found this forum, you guys have opened my eyes so much. The other forums i was on encouraged me to be nice to her and give her time and all that..I can see how that was such a big waste of time now.


Anyway, i gotta pack my things! I just got a text from my sister, and my mum was taken to hospital last night with breathing difficulties, im worried for her. This is all the more reason to motivate me to move back.

You mentioned Sydney - so I assume you're Australian? There's a few of us here.

You know OM's cell phone number?

Do you know the suburb he lives in?

It's can't be THAT hard to find his wife. It really can't. All it takes is a WILL to find her.

OM are cowards - he won't be after revenge.

MoDaisy is someone you probably don't want to be listening to. He as MEDC said is most probably a WS. His sparkling adviceon these boards is very un-MB like.

thanks bigkahuna.

Yeah im aussie. i dont know anything other than his cell phone number and where he works. i was thinking of sending an email to his CEO. I found that out today using google of the place. coz its government department it lists out the management. I just dont know if that will produce anything other than a defamation case against me. I have limited evidence, a hotel receipt and some phone records. My ex was either very cunning in covering her tracks or i was just plain dumb for not picking up more evidence along the way..

I think i know the answer please spare me that..

My mate says not to bother coz ive wasted enough time and energy on that skank and everything to do with her. I feel obligated to tell his wife, Im going to tell my ex parents though, im writing her dad a letter to explain what "really" happened so he knows the whole story and what a whore his daughter is. I will be tactful in the letter. Me and her dad got on well, we were mates so that makes this kind of hard. He has taken my side many times over her in the past coz we think alike in terms of whats right or wrong...No grey areas!

Anyway. I dont know what else to do other than follow the OM home...again its the time and effort to acheive what? she probably knows, he is arab and we know what they are like in terms of their men having multiple partners. wives grin and bear it!

Hi LB,

if your writing leters to people, its generally a good idea to post them here for others opinion first. That way you know any letter you send will sound objective, clear, and doesnt make you sound crazy, vindictive or both.

Lil

LB,

Please permit me to encourage you to read all of the articles here. ONce you get that under your belt, the advice here will make more sense. I would encourage you to listen to all advice offered, evaluate it, compare it to Harley's approach, and decide for yourself. No one here is a professional, and often interesting insights come from very unusual places. You are looking for insight, seek it with your eyes open.

As for your ex-GF, it is your call. If I understand this correctly, you moved 200 (miles/km) from home for her, but she returns this location every weekend to be with OM, am I right? My recommendation is if he is in your area, that when you return home get settled and sort out your mother's issues, see if you can locate him, and then speak with his W.

She does need to know, but not to stop the affair which is the MAIN reason for exposure. Your ex's affair can continue until Alice Springs freezes over for all you care now. So exposure is really to help this woman. It would be a good thing to do. HOwever if you live 200 miles/km from Sydney, then my guess is that the town is small enough that you will cross paths with OM again, and perhaps you will be given an opportunity to "help" the guy out. You know with an honest recommendation to your Mates, or perhaps an employeer (his boss in the Gov.). The world is a small place and patience is often rewarded.

Upon thinking is Canberra that close to Sydney. My Australian geography may be a bit off.

God Bless,

JL