"Tents" LOL

Okay, here's one:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?"

The song was tooooooo funny
The notes said it had lyrics included - for the clear headed.
Sad that he was so stoned, though.

I thought the jokes were ok,too.

G'night, friends...

Too tents...long face... :RollieEyes:

Three drunks go fishing at see in a motorboat.

The boat runs out of fuel halfway back to port.

They decide to carry on fishing with the hope that someone will eventually pick them up.

One of the drunks hooks the cork of an ancient wine bottle. Expecting a drink, he gets a genie instead. The genie looks at the motley crew, thanks them for his eternal release and grants the group just ONE wish.

Before any of the other two can speak, the drunkest blurts out: "I wish the ocean would turn into first class beer..."

And poof the genie disappears leaving the three sailors and their boat floating amidst an ocean of the highest quality beer.

For the longest time, the other two drunks stare at their wishful friend with an absolutely stunned expression.

Eventually one of them speaks:
"...And now I suppose we will have to pee into the boat...!"

Or if you're as old as me, you can actually remember being there!

All Blessings,
Jerry

okok, I finally got dat joke! It has been 5 or 6 years since I played with Mr Potato head so it took a while. And I am a Texan, so what do ya expect??


My BIL, AN ENGINEER, tells jokes that no one GETS!! You would have to understand the inner workings of cumulus clouds to get his last joke!!

"Oh, liver!" That's the loudest Air Guitar I ever did hear.




^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^------rolling on the ground and dancing nekkid

Here's some pretty dry humor, otherwise known as jokes that will take Mel weeks to get!

~A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop!

~Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...

~I enjoy waxing nostalgic over nostalgia...

Mrs. W

t/j...
Mrs W...can you check out ecdrt thread (My Wife is Cheating) on Just found out? Thanks.

Sure thing MEDC...I'll go take a looky-loo...

And Mel, try not to hurt yerself! Thinkin' too hard could cause smoke, and Lord knows a HUGE aquanet fire would be no fun at all -- total buzz kill!

Mrs. W

ok, fine, I know some "JOKES" too!!

A man walks into Target and buys a mop!

A turtle crosses the road!

bubba drove a white truck to the fair.

A silly yankee tells jokes that nobody GETS!!

I am sorry, but your jokes are foolish and no one GETS THEM!!! :RollieEyes: I don't get dem jokes!!

Must have been a road in west Texas where nobody lives. A turtle would never have made it across around here.

Bet it had an Easy Rider rifle rack in the back window too.

Must have been a sale. Everybody knows Walmart is cheaper.

Two Aussies are adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions one of them finds an old lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie suddenly appears. This genie tells them that he only grants one wish.

Without giving much thought to the matter, the lamp finder blurts out, "Turn the entire ocean into VB!"

The genie claps his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turns into beer.

The genie disappears and only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull breaks the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.

The second Aussie turns to the first and says, "Nice going mate! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."

He GOT dem jokes!!

With regards to Sarah Palin -

Bubba and Jake chartered a plane with a pilot to drop them off in the wilds of Alaska for a week of moose hunting, just the same as they did the year before.

When the pilot returned with the plane Bubba exclaimed joyfully to the pilot, "We had a great hunting trip! We bagged four moose!"

The pilot regretfully explained, "Unfortunately, our plane can only fly with the weight of two moose. You'll have to leave the other two behind."

Bubba and Jake were both infuriated and insistent. "We won't allow you to fly this plane out without all four moose," Jake demanded.

The eager to please pilot relented and the plane took off with the three of them and their four moose. About fifteen minutes into the flight the engine started to sputter, and within seconds they were hurtling to the ground.

Wearily arising from the wreckage, Bubba looked at Jake and wheezed, "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Jake, quite pleased with himself, replied, "Yes! We're about a mile from where we crashed last year."

So it would seem there are two Texas blondes walking along the the beatifull river but on opposite sides.

The first Texas blonde is searching for a way to cross the river to the other side. She spys the other Texas blonde on the other side and yells out: YoooHooo, how do I get to the other side???

The second Texas blonde replies back: Weeelll, you're already on the other side!!

All Blessings,
Jerry

There are only two blond jokes.

All the rest are true.






Two blonds are walking in the woods and come across some tracks.

"Look" says the first, "Deer tracks!"

"Those aren't deer tracks" says the second, "Those are elk tracks."

"They are not elk tracks," says the first blond. "I know deer tracks when I see 'em and those are deer tracks."

"Look," says blond number two, "you might think of yourself as quite the outdoors person but my Daddy took me hunting with him all the time and those are definitely elk tracks."

"Well you might have gone hunting with your Daddy but I went hunting with my Daddy way more times than you went with yours and I know for a fact that those are deer tracks," says the first.

So back and forth they went, arguing about what type of tracks they had found.

They stood there in the woods calling each other names and each refusing to give in to what they knew was right...

Until at last...


















A train came along and ran over both of them.

That's the other one...

Mark

It's got a good beat and you can dance to it!!

This should be shown in America. A LOT. Starting in HS sex-ex classes. Or heck, for that matter, shown all over the world. Yep.