A little background info about my situation.
My wife and I were married last September 2007. I am now 23 and she 20. Her mother and grandmother are diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder and I believe she has it also. We had a very rough had rocky time while dating. She was very self-centered and everything in her life had to be filled with drama. I honestly think she sabotaged many blessings from God in order to be able to complain about her "crappy" life. We dated for a little over 3 1/2 years during which she got mad and tried to break up with me about 60 times or so. Always changed her mind in the morning though. I caught her dating two other guys. 1 of them she started dating 2 months after we were engaged. And then about a month before or wedding she met this really nice guy and work at the local run down grocery store. I spent quite a few breaks with her and met the guy on several occasions. He was nice and I enjoyed talking to him. I was a little jealous because they were close but he was 34 and she 19 so I didn't think to much about it. In February she began to get distant and act depressed. Now these emotions were not too far from normal so I thought it was another BPD cycle so I gave her space and tried to supporting and loving. By April she said she wanted a divorce and left our apartment. I was able to convince her to come back home on the premise that I would stay at my parents (that way I knew were she was). after about a week she decided to come back. Now looking back I think she was shammed into it. She did quit her job but insisted that they were just friends even though she stayed the night at his house. Slept on the couch, or so they said.

5 weeks later she left again. This time was so different because there was so much hatred and rage in her eyes. I fought for a week for the marriage till one day I got home from work and she was gone. I had no idea where she went and see wouldn't answer her cell or email me back, so I kinda gave up and accepted that I had no control and the marriage was over. Then about two weeks ago after being gone for 2 months she called me and said she wanted to come back. We talked and I found out she was pregnant and no idea who the father was. Well she left after a week and a half saying that she loved me but wasn't in love with me. and that she still wants to be friends and hang out with me on occasion. But that she tried to be my wife and felt nothing and more importantly that the baby deserves to be with its dad. So I know where she is living but once again she won't let me contact her. She did promise to keep away from both me and the other guy because it wouldn't be fair to the other person. Of course I gave her till today till I expect her to be sleeping with him again. So she is gonna wait till the father is revealed and then be with that person for the baby's sake.

She said she doesn't know why she had the affair but my guess are that I gave her space when I should have been trying to drowned her with my love. I know that she likes to make her life sound bad for pity from other people and she could never relate to me because i had an "easy" life according to her and this guy has had a bad life. She is also very insecure and has low self-esteem. I think that there is no chance I could ever get her into a counselor, either for the marriage or for her possible BPD.

Is it too late for a plan A? if not then what should I tell her? Should I go straight to plan B? Please help me, I am so lost right know and am honestly thinking of a divorce no matter who the father is and if it is mine then raising it by myself. Is it too late? When does divorce become the better option when dealing with a wayward spouse? Thanks so much for your help and time.

Khuck,

You've been married a year, she has already had a fairly long term affair with another guy and lived with him while married to you and is now pregnant...

Plan A?

I don't think that is the way to go.

Plan B?

Maybe, but at this point I think it needs to be Plan FU and Plan D.

I would BET dollars to donuts that she KNOWS who the father of her baby is and KNOWS it is not you. She is probably home because POPSOM doesn't want her now that she is pregnant.

OM run like he// from raising children most of the time.

I would only let her back into your life if you love her enough to raise another man's child with her, since that is the most likely outcome of this.

If you do decide to stay with this woman I would suggest getting a paternity test on the child as soon as possible to confirm it is not yours.

You would not be the first to raise a child of adultery as your own and to do it knowingly, but unless you think you have the stomach for it don't let her make your life a living he//.

Trust me on this. She is 99% certain the child is not yours or she wouldn't even bring it up.

Mark