Last night was the first time FWH and I had intercourse since D-day. His affair ended early/mid July (about 2months ago, but slept with OW 5times over a 5month period no emotions attached and no withdrawals). But he recently told me so it is still new to me. Well right after, I just cried and told him why - The thought of him doing this same thing to someone else. We were having the same problems I read about in Dr. Harley articles, we both came to a point where each other important EN wasn't being meet and even I started to fantasize about having an EA but I didn't. Anyways we are working things out and he is sorry/remorsefull and am spending alot more time with me. So is this normal for the first couple times or is it a sign that I am not ready yet. When were you ready?

nobody?

I will hazard a guess, though hopefully you will get some responses from someone whose experience more closely mirrors your own.

My opinion is that you had a normal reaction, and it probably would have been about the same even if you waited 6 months or a year longer.

My sex life was continuous, so it's not that we had to start back up, but I did go through stages during recovery where I didn't want to do anything physical with him. When the mental pictures were the worst, I was at times disgusted by his body. (Fortunately this was only a very small part of the time.)

I chose to deal with that by not letting it stop me, and having SF every bit as often as usual. It takes a long while to get past that entirely, but you are going to have to reclaim him as your husband as a part of recovery.

Keep up the good work, and it should get easier with time. Make a deliberate effort to shut out the pictures. Stop your mind every time it goes there. Keep on having sex, as much as it takes to get you past this stage of your feelings.