I dye my own hair and it LOOKS good. I also get my hair cut somewhere that costs me $15 including tip, and once again, it LOOKS good. The only reason all of those fancy salons and such cost more money is because they can charge the fools out there who will pay it more. They all got the exact same hairdressing degree my dear.

Very respectfully stated. I've known lots of other people who dyed their own hair and it looked good. Of all the people who have cut my daughter's hair, the best haircuts have been from one particular woman who charges about $15.

Benny has, also, done a good job on mine. However, I may stay with Mart for a while. He's $45 and a really nice guy - even away from the salon.

However, I can understand Stella's comments framed in reference to her prior hair loss and I hope she NEVER has that experience again. Truly and sincerely, I hope she NEVER goes through that again.

You are very lucky! I like to get multicolored hi-lights in my hair. That cannot be done at home. It takes more skill than I have. I also need a very good stylist to cut my hair now, one that is trained well. I cannot risk any more hair mistakes!

Truth be told. I used to get two color foiled highlights. This was the expensive hairdresser who, during the late 80s, was perming my hair then highlighting- alternating processes 3 months apart totalling 4 processes a year. He fried my hair from overprocessing for an extended period of time.

That was when I embraced my straight hair. In the early 90s, I accidentally let someone dye it red. Looked good but was too much work to maintain. I eventually let someone low-light it a time or two to get it back to my natural color.

In the late 90s, a friend would highlight it for me and she did as good a job as anyone else had - for a single color - and the regrowth wasn't bad. Then she moved out of town. One day, I highlighted it myself. That was what led to the home dying. A friend who used to be a hairdresser said I was doing a pretty good job. Then, I got tired of that and dyed it about my natural color and let it grow out.

So, now, I have no perm, no color. It's much darker than my self-image which is still the dark blonde I had as a young adult. Only, with each passing year, it's getting more of those 'natural highlights' in it.

So does anyone have an opinion on what a "healthy" waist size is? Or even a bodyfat percentage for that matter?

There are all kinds of charts and graphs out there. BMI is a load of hooey since it doesn't take muscle mass into consideration at all... and bodyfat is really hard to accurately measure.

There are so many factors to consider

Body fat is hard to measure, but one of those expensive Bioelectric impediance scales do it well. Its a lot to drop on a scale just to find out tho. I have a friend that has one (lucky me), so I know my % body fat.

Other than that, it is hard to measure. Although, I did have the doctor do one of those "pinch tests" with the calipers prior to the scale thing (probably a year or so prior, but really hadn't changed weight) and the two methods came up with about the same answer.

It depends on your age and whether you are a man or woman. For women (that aren't athletes) 15-25% is considered normal, 25-30% is overweight, over 30% is obese. I'm not sure what exactly it is for males, but it is less (for some reason, I want to say 6-15% is "normal" for a male, but don't quote me there... I'm sure you can look it up online).

Body fat % is the most "reliable" way to tell if you are overweight, not weight or BMI. As stated, muscle mass and frame structure can greatly change your weight, with little difference in fat percentage differences.

Hard to measure body fat % accurately tho. Maybe you can try to find someone with one of the scales and get your Dr. to do the caliper test. I am fairly confident about my body fat % since two different tests, a year apart, came up with a 1% difference between the two methods.

I think the only way to be 100% sure tho is to do a dunk test... where they dunk you in water and measure something... not sure what... density, I think, somehow...

E.

DEXA is the most accurate way - and most expensive

Description Women Men
Essential fat 12–15% 2–5%
Athletes 16–20% 6–13%
Fitness 21–24% 14–17%
Acceptable 25–31% 18–25%
Obese 32%+ 25%+

(from what I have been able to gather this seems consistant)

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23694559/

This shows many before's and after's. What changes!

I have not read this entire thread so excuse me if I am redundant. There are some issues brought up in this thread that I feel are totally sexist.

A man's EN is for a physically attractive wife. Let's put weight aside for one moment. People age. Your wife is not going to be 30 forever. Her "physical attractiveness" as you are looking at it now is not going to be the same. What then?! How is that any different than weight changes? What if there is an accident and you are scarred? You get my drift.

Also, a woman's most important EN is usually financial support. Should we dump your sorry [censored] if you suddenly lose a job and it takes you too long to find another? Should we walk around lusting after men with what appears to be a fatter wallet and tell you not to be offended, we're just looking?

Most of the middle aged male population that I see are not runway models. They have a pot belly and usually have lost their hair. This is the pot calling the kettle black. Baldness and pot bellies don't really bother me. I see the total picture and who you are inside is much more important and sexy to me than a pretty face and a six pack. If you are in tune to me and can connect with me emotionally, you can light me on fire faster than a Hanes model.

Sometimes a weight gain is a sign that EN's are not being met. It can be an unconscious substitute for what's really "eating you".

I am not condoning letting yourself go and expecting your spouse to suck it up. However, I can't help but hear a lot of shallowness in this thread. We have so much to be thankful for in this life and each other that I feel it is such a waste of time to get your knickers in a twist about insignificant weight changes. If it is a lot of weight, it is a health issue and that is something alltogether different, but don't dress up shallowness and call it "I'm concerned about your health".

(First Post Alert!)

Okay, I did not read the whole thread so I'm not sure if this has been covered or not...

As a competitive bodybuilder I have worked hard to create a good physique (good enough to win four National weight class titles) and conciously try to eat well and exercise most of the time to maintain or improve my physique. What really has troubled me during our marriage is that my wife could seem to care less about what I looked like.

I may be in an off season mode, where I am carrying a few extra pounds of bulk or in a super lean mode with hardened muscles, etc. that is the envy of most men and women... except it seems my wife. She says that after a time she just got used to being married to a "buff" type of guy and didn't compliment me on what I looked like, even though I am in better shape that 99% of the people around... even for my age, I tend to be more buff than 90% of guys HALF my age.

Not that it was a reason for an affair to happen, but I must say it was one of the big contributing factors that led me to stray into an affair when someone began complimenting me a LOT on my physique and made me feel very special. They gave me that attention that I craved and filled a big emotional need for me. Suddenly, I had someone who loved my soul AND body and made me well aware of that fact often. Her constant praise made me feel very special.

For those of you who have a husband or wife who are in shape you may want to continually remind them of that fact and praise their efforts. Let them know that you find them attractive and/or sexy... otherwise someone else might starting doing that and they may tend to lean towards that person to have their emotional needs met.

It can happen... it does happen.

Praising him for looking good did NOT work with my husband. That was when he would withdraw the most.

I know my FWH feels very similar to you. HE cares alot about how he looks and works hard at it.
It is very hard for someone who doesn't really care about physcial appearance (myself) to comment on it often. I have learned to do so as much as possible, but I have to be honest that most of the time I comment simply because I know he needs it and wants it... not because I have honestly noticed anything different or have been 'admiring' his build at all.

It is my responsibility to provide everything I can to meet my FWH's needs, and so I do make every attempt I can to comment on *this* or *that*, but I know it still isn't as much as he needs. I think this is the same as any other emotional need that goes unmet by a partner. Actually, in my opinion, this need has nothing to do with physcial appearance - it has to do with admiration and validation.