This is not what normally happens when A's are exposed, but this is a scary outcome for any thinking of exposing an affair. It is by no means meant to be a discouragement, but please be aware of what the others that are involved in your situation could be capable of when faced with job and family exposure. This is truly a tragic result of an already bad situation.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-teacher-fdle-new-smyrna-dead-092308,0,6401934.story

Obviously someone that was not prepared to face the consequences of his actions.

That is not a story about exposure, but of the outcome ADULTERY. Folks should keep this in mind before they commit ADULTERY. Folks should be discouraged to commit adultery, because this is a very possible outcome. People can and do go insane when they are assualted by adultery.

How is this a story about exposure... as exposure is used on this forum? We don't know why the wayward killed himself or how his own wife died. All we know is that he threatened to kill the husband of his OW and then ended up killing himself. Other than filing an order for protection, the article doesn't indicate any other "exposing" done by the BH.

The BH threatened to expose the OM to his job and then the OM choked him and then tried to run over him. The fact that he ended up killing himself and(not discovered yet how) his own wife is enough to know that this is a scary circumstance.

I am sorry that everyone is so defensive about exposing regardless, but imagine if the man that killed himself(the WH) carried his threats any further on the BH? That was all I was trying to say is that as a BS that sometimes we should examine who we are tangling with.

This man could have easily chosen to hurt the BS worse than he hurt himself. If everyone chooses to ignore the fact that this can happen then you are crazy. This happens everyday. Adulterers are always looking for someone else to blame and sometimes they don't come around like this guy and shoot themselves. They shoot the person that is threatening their livelihood and reputation.

By no means was I implying that someone should not expose, but I'd be careful about it if I received physical threats and an actual physical encounter from the OP.

And no one has come to the defense of the BW by the way. There were no visible signs of trauma on her, but when it all comes out, I am sure we will see that she was killed BECAUSE her husband betrayed her and he couldn't deal with it. SO the MOST innocent bystander in the whole situation has lost her life.

So...once again...so sorry to offend the police of this place that think that whatever they do will save their marriage and there will be no other victims. Wrong...the poor BW of this story is dead because of threats made by the BH. Just keep following it...I am pretty sure that a woman that was healthy(and betrayed) didn't just happen to keel over the same day her WH killed himself.

Noregrets, I think you misread. BH killed himself and possibly WW.

This is not about exposure being bad. Exposure did what it is supposed to do. It ended the affair.

A bully, AKA the OM, tried to use his physical size badge and gun to intimidate a BH. Applaud the BH for still standing up to the OM.

The OM was brave enough to be a bully, drop his pants and bang the BH's WW. But not tuff enough to face what he did and be able to face his own BW.

This coward did what all cowards do. I only hope that there was no foul play with the OMW. Most likey there was.

This happened not because of exposure, this happened because the OM chose to do everything that he did. He was never forced. The OM acted freely.

*Edit*

The OM shot himself and BH's WW.

Saved him the trouble AND he gets to collect the insurance and keep all the stuff.

Win/win situation.

OM, Brady, killed himself and his BS. BH is Canter not Brady. If OM killed himself, I can't really shed a tear but if he killed his BS too that's [censored] up and he should burn in hell for it. No different than when one parent goes nuts and kills their kids and/or spouse because they can't handle the situation. It's very sad that innocent people have to suffer because OM cracked. If it's proven he killed his wife, I hope people don't remember him for being such a nice guy. :RollieEyes: He'll be a murderer.

I'm sorry, noregrets, but I just have a different perspective on this than you.

I see a BH who STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF, like a BH SHOULD DO, and...

I see an OM, who ACTED LIKE A COWARD, like MOST OM DO.

OM had a badge and a gun, but still didn't have the guts to stand up to a pi$$ed off BH.

This is an example of the RULE, albeit an extreme example, rather than the EXCEPTION.

The LESSON here is NOT that exposure is bad, but rather "play with fire and get BURNED".

Um....you guys...

BH was "Brady"...he was threatening to kill OM, but ended up killing himself and his WW.

I think the story is written very poorly, and it's a little hard to figure out, but Brady is the cop who was threatening to kill OM...Brady was the BH.

"Canter said that after he walked in on Brady and his wife..."

Canter's wife? Oy! I'm confused. I'll just agree that the story is badly written.

Yes, that is the one sentence that is written poorly.

He killed himself because he was in trouble and forced to retire. He didn't give a crap about his wife. Obviously, since he killed her, too.

Guilt over his affair? Malarkey. He tried to choke OWH because of his sense of entitlement.

I don't wish him dead, though, or throw a party because he offed himself. He could have repented and made things right. He didn't want to. He took the easy way out.

Charlotte

another article:

http://www.news-journalonline.com/NewsJournalOnline/News/Headlines/frtHEAD01EAST092308.htm

Brady was the OM and Canter is the betrayed spouse.

"Canter said the threat was leveled after Canter walked in on Brady and Canter's wife having sex, the application for the injunction shows."

First of all, as others have mentioned here, the cause is the *adultery*, not the exposure.

Secondly, threatening exposure is NOT the MB way, AFAIK. No-one here familiar with MB techniques suggests *threatening* exposure as a means of ending an A. In fact, most of the advice I've seen here suggests that the BS NOT use the *threat* of exposure, as that gives the WS and the OP enough forewarning to spread their own version of the story to the exposure targets.

I see two victims here (after reading the second article as the first was a mess.)

Mr Canter was a betrayed husband who caught his wife with Brady. Canter is clearly a victim...

Brady's wife was also a victim because of her husband's affair but becomes a double victim if Brady did in fact kill her though the fact that they await toxicology results before indicating cause of death and say that there was no sign of trauma on her body might indicate that Mrs Brady did in fact kill herself when she learned of her husband's affair.

Brady I feel not the least bit sorry for I'm afraid.

As for how this relates to exposure...

The fact that Brady was the OM and Canter did the exposure I think says nothing about the validity of exposure to pressure an affair to bring it to an end. The fact that OM killed himself and perhaps his wife is sad and if his wife killed herself over the loser who cheated on her it is doubly sad. How many here might have done the same if not for the support of this forum?

But exposure has only to do with it as far as it might have been the loss of his job and the embarrassment that Brady faced came as a result of Canter's exposure to his employer, though it was more because of the attack that he was in trouble than for the affair itself.

Exposure is still the greatest weapon against an affair that a BS has in his or her arsenal. It could even be argued that exposure in this case did in fact bring the affair to an end, though the two deaths are a tragic outcome, not of the exposure but of the affair itself.

Just my 2 cents. That and a few bucks can get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks (aka: Fivebucks)

Mark

Not saying the OM got what was coming to him. But who, why, and how was the OMW killed.

Was the OMW a WW herself? Did the OM blame his WW for his PA because she had her's first? Now because all he wanted was revenge on his WW so he had a RA with Canters WW, but it caused him to be losing his career. So he blamed his WW for everything that she did and he did. So the OM killed his own WW.

Anyones guess is good if not better than mine. Why would the OM want to kill his own wife?

Guy's if you care give it a try to why they were both dead.

I guess all I was really trying to say from the beginning is that this was a truly tragic situation and was pointing out that yes he was a piece of crap for what he did. I cannot believe he took the coward's way out and more than likely we will find out that his BS killed herself or that possibly he poisoned her.

**EDIT**