stbxh is still drinking, so I know my marriage isn't going anywhere, but that doesn't mean I can't improve myself.

I'm impatient... always have been.
I've been dishonest and deceitful because I never wanted to address our problems... because "the talks" never ended well. Then when I did address our problems it was in a very critical/judgemental, disrespectful, inconsiderate, rude, willful, negative, and controlling way. I've been evasive and withdrawn and even hostile to push him away. I continue to be angry and resentful of him. Even today my mere presence enables him, but not for much longer.

So I guess what I need to do is learn how to address conflict.

I've never done that well, even 20 years ago... I would ignore problems until I got really mad and then break off the relationship. I don't think I've ever really respected my romantic partner. Wow... enlightening.

Now I honestly don't know what to do. Suggestions?