Buckeye,
I want you to think about the threads you have read here from men whose wives cheated on them...
Every single one of them said:
"We married too young/for the wrong reason(s)."
"I never really loved you."
"I have been unhappy for _____ months/years."
"I never felt like that about you."
"I never knew what real love was."
And a hundred other things that you "friend" has said about her husband and marriage.
Whenever a betrayed husband says his wife is saying that stuff, we tell him to ignore it because it is the affair talking. It is all the same stuff every wayward says when the affair is found out. We tell them that the affair is the problem.
Many wayward wives even try to convince their husbands that they are abusive and have been for years...
It's because of the new relationship with OM that they say these things. It is rewriting of history and fog babble blah blah blah.
It's a load of crap is what it is...
Having been here before you should recognize it for that. You probably heard it all yourself.
So, when your "friend' that you began dating while she was married and BEFORE she filed for divorce from her husband started saying these things, you should have seen it for what it really was and run like the dickens. You never should have gotten to that point as a matter of fact, because she was already married.
If she really wanted to be divorced before she began an AFFAIR with you, she would have filed before she got involved with you. If she had really been unhappy in her marriage she would have left her husband before she found out you might be available. If she was really in an abusive relationship she could have sought help to leave him BEFORE she got involved with you.
You ARE the OM who is breaking up a marriage...
Nothing special about any of this merely the same old foggy crap everyone involved in an affair says and does.
Even if she might have divorced anyway...YOU are the one that triggered it with your "dating" her before she was divorced and in fact by your own words before she even filed.
You want advice?
Run as far away from this woman as you can get. Move overseas if you can...
AS for you wife, who I would guess had her own affair though perhaps not a PA as HER trigger to say all those things to you...
If you want that relationship to rekindle and make it work, expect to have to live with what you did to your "friend's" husband as a reminder all the days of your life whenever your wife seems distant and withdrawn.
I think the Lord is punishing me.
Not yet He isn't. But He might...
Trust me on this, His idea of punishment is not something you would be confused about. When He decides to punish you, it won't be so benign.
Mark
