Well, now that you've contacted the OMW, you have a friend in ending this. Keep in contact with her and keep exchanging new information. Does she know about this weekend? You may not be present to stop it; but, perphaps she will.If she plans on catching him in the act, your name might might not even come up because he sold himself down the river. But, even if it does, who cares! OMW has a RIGHT to know what going on in her marriage.

Hi all
Here is the latest...
OM's wife called my WW and sent her couple nasty e-mails.
I think the A is over, at least I hope.
Now my wife hates me because I hurt her. I am pretty sure about that.

I think she is still in fog because she said rather be single. She believes that the "Right One" is still out there for her.
In her mind, I am not the one....!!!

Now she and my son are still 6 hours drive away.

Should I stick with this forced Plan B, stay away from her and let her make the first step?

I am so lost. I feel like fighting a losing battle.

Don't pay attention to the infidel liars. Nothing that comes from their mouths should be believed. I heard nearly the same words from my FWW. I was the evil one for ending her affair. I took her soulmate away from her. He was the love of her life. They will always think like that until NC is established. Once you have NC, then the clock starts ticking. Maybe six months after NC she will start to see things differently.

Your WW is angry and she wants to hurt you and justify herself. She has no desire to say anything pleasant to you. Don't be deceived by her perception.

Just because OMW sent your WW some emails doesn't mean that the affairees are going to stop. It just means that the glitter has been removed and now they have to see their affair in a different light (i.e. that of day).

Absolutely not.

You're not in Plan B unless you've sent her a letter. Without a letter she won't know why you're not contacting her. She'll make assumptions, and they'll be wrong. Her "first step" will be out of your life.

Without the letter she has no clear path home, and doesn't know the conditions you place upon her return. You are NOT in Plan B.

This is the time for Plan A.

Oh, I forgot to say - great job on the exposure!

Hi all
Thanks for all the support.
Wife and I had actually couple friendly e-mails last days. I though she is opening up to me since the A is over, I think.

But no, I saw the following on her blog today and she even changes her status to "Divorced" already which we haven't.

I have done something very wrong and now I am paying the price in so many ways. I wanted a divorce and I still do because I think we are incompatible. I am very sorry that you got hurt. I know what you are feeling right now. You were right; I did end up getting hurt. But I just fell for all the things I was told...and I actually believed it. Add this to the already existing stress level and it continues to go up. We will both move on with our life. It will just take time for both us. We did not see things the same way and I kept trying to tell you. Let's just maintain a civil relationship for our child. Thanks and take care.

I am so hurt. Is there still a chance?
Should I even comment on her blog?
What kills me was incompatible???.....
Should I just leave her alone and hope she will come around?
They are so far away....this is such a roller coaster ride.

My WW has not replied to my e-mails for the last couple days now.
I just want to say hi to my son.
Is it too much to ask???

I guess she is still mad about I was talking to OM's wife.

More than likely, the A properly is still going on even after the exposure. I have no way to know since she is so far away.

At this point, I almost want to throw in the towel and call the lawyer myself.

I still love her dearly....
I just want my family back.

Is there still hope..??

NW,

You may want to compare notes with the OMW.

kirk

I tried to contact the OM'W, but no luck.
I left OM'W voice mails and e-mails but no reply.
I guess she doesn't want deal with this mess anymore.

As of yesterday, my WW and I are now financially separated also.
She now has her own account and I have divided our liquid assets.
Now we only have 2 houses together. I guess we will sort that out when the big D-day comes.

I've been reading this forum and others. I am not sure what best thing to do next. She sure seems no interest to fix this marriage. As a matter of fact, I don't think she wants to marry again. She wants to be independent and finds "Mr Right".
I guess I just need to (Get A Life) now, but I am having a tough time to detach from her. I keep finding myself go to her web page and just look at her pics.
Is there a good way to detach?
I still love her and want to work this out.
I also want to show her my life doesn't stuck because of this mess.
I need to be strong for my son and people that I care for.

It is easy to say, but hard to do.

My WW suppose to call me tonight, so I can at least say "Good night" to my son. I am still away on business in UK.

Should I ask about the A? Is it over????
I am pretty sure she doesn't want to talk to me about our marriage.

I am afraid I can't control my emotion once I hear their voice.
Should I just sound content even I am hurting inside like crazy...?

I need some advice bad.

Thanks everyone....

My WW never did call tonight. Now is 1:00 am in UK.
I called her and of course she didn't pick up the phone.
I just want say hi to my son. I haven't talk to him since Sunday.
Is this too much to ask?

Now I am just angry....!!!!

How could she do this?

I may have serve her the big D paper myself....

I can't even think straight now...

Without legal action there is nothing you can do.

Thanks Flynn....
I need to look into to this once I am home next week.
I know my son will be with her mom this afternoon.
At least I can call there....can't wait.

I found myself once again waiting for my WW e-mails.
I went to her myspace page. Headlines....she is moving on.

I don't want to give up. I want my family back.

I guess time and patience are my best friends now.

Since she is so far away and she basically communicate to me through her mom, how can I even show her I am changing to be a better husband?

Again...another rainy day in UK...

Is your wife working outside of the home?

Are you sending child support?

She and my son move back to her hometown in mid of Sept.

Her current job allow her to work remotely, so she is pretty much working from her dad's house. Her contract will expire the end of this year. I am not sure they will renew it.

I am staying in our home which is about 6 hrs away.

No I have not pay any child support yet.

I haven't get a chance to talk about anything since she isn't really reply to my e-mails or phone calls.

Not sure exactly what to do now....

You MUST send her child support. Send a check every month. That is VITAL. It doesn't matter whether or not she is speaking to you. Your child deserves that.

Thanks Believer.

I understand child support is vital, and I will pay whatever the amount is needed. I love my son dearly so I will do whatever I can to help.

Since she hasn't brought this up at all, should I even mention it?

Once of the biggest problem that she has with me was controlling.
She told me that I treated her like a child, always telling her what to do and not to do. She also told me that I didn't trust her judgment and second guess her decisions. I think back now. She is pretty dead on.
Now she wants to be independent.
I am afraid to even ask. She might think this is another "My idea" AGAIN.....

Suggestions....???

Send child support. That is your duty. You really don't have to say anything. Just send the check. It will also benefit you if there are legal proceedings.

My WW claimed the same thing. I was not controlling but she perceived it as controlling. As an example, WW wanted to take a class to learn how to ride a motorcycle. I said I didn't want her to do that. That made me controlling.

What I meant: Honey, I had a motorcycle for years and they can be very dangerous. People cut you off, turn in front of you, you have no protection and I would really be worried every time you were out riding.

What she meant: I have always wanted to try riding a motorcycle. It looks like they are a lot of fun. Our kids are older now and I am getting older. We are in a good financial position where we can afford one. I feel like if I do not try it now I will never have a chance to do it and I will be missing out on one of my dreams.

Now, if she said that and I said NO, how big of an a-hole do I look like? My being against her doing this had nothing to do with my trying to control her. It was a safety issue, period. They are dangerous and I would worry about her. She took it to be controlling. I never viewed it that was.

I bring this up because there may be issues that just need better communication so they are not viewed as controlling. Once WW and I started communicating better, a lot of issues like this were resolved.