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..if not how does that make you feel, thinking that they would not have fought, but here you are fighting your [censored] off for the marriage. Is it even something to consider? Does it make it harder to deal with? Is it even something we should talk about?
I am not sure what FWH would do as yet, we are about to discuss that but he is not much of a fighter. I realized it even more last night when he for his class hw, he said that he forgot the proper formatting and the teacher said he would get a zero and he just accepted. No going after to beg for a chance. He just said well we had 2 weeks, there was no excuse I should have done it and I don't think I could win with the teacher. The teacher actually called him on his cell and tell him he can hand it in tomorrow and was suprise he didn't but up a fight.
Last edited by ANewBeginning; 10/02/08 03:53 PM.
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No, mine would not have stayed or fought.
I can understand it as she was meeting my EN's but I was missing hers. If I strayed after she was doing all the right things, I can understand why she would not have stayed or fought.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
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Never in a bajillion years.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Not a chance.
She'd have jumped on the nearest erection with a pulse, right before she moved out and filed for divorce.
Divorced
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Oh. As for my feelers...well, yannow everyone's "had it up to here" level is different. Just because mine is WAY higher than the Wookie's doesn't make me feel bad.
But then, I don't think the Wookie has ever seriously thought that I would harm him in such a way.
Dunno that I could...so it's not something I think on often.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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I would've stayed. I would stay and fight, even now, if he had a revenge A.
I'm probably stupid, though...
I'm the FWW
EA 2/06-3/06
NC 3/06
BH still not sure
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You're not stupid, HTH.
It's a hard road towards healing, girly.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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At D-Day + 7 Unprompted, my ex declared that she wouldn't have stayed nor fought for the M if the roles had been reversed.
Divorced:
"Never shelter anyone from the realities of their decisions": Noodle
You believe easily what you hope for ernestly
Infidelity does not kill marriages, the lying does
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If the roles were reversed, would your WS have stayed My first reponse was "absolutely not." But then...... The waywards thought that the betrayed would kick them to the curb as soon as the A came to light. Many here are proof of the fact that particlar assumption doesn't hold true. No one can really say until they are actually IN that predicament.
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She bailed out and had an affair when my only crime was to be a clueless BH who didn't know squat about meeting EN's. Imagine if I were unfaithful to her. She likely would have gone postal on me, instead of just lying to me about her affair, slapping me when I wanted to discuss custody, yelling at me in front of our child, etc.
No way she would have tried to save the marriage given what I saw when she had an affair and I tried to save it.
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Mine would have used it as a good excuse to go out and do what he wanted anyway...hey, guess he did that anyway, without an excuse! What do you know! 
Last edited by Vows4Good; 10/02/08 05:18 PM.
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Well, being as I had a nasty RA and she still wanted to work on the M I guess I'd lay the odds at 25% that she would stay and fight had I had a LTA first. I still think she would have ruined my life w/ it and taking me to the cleaners financially due to all the guilt I would have...
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not a snowballs chance in he//!
in a way it makes me feel icky, but it doesn't change the fact that i am proud of me for sticking it out and fighting for MY family.
what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
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My husband and I were both the cheater and the betrayed spouse, spread out a number of years apart. We both chose to stick it out and neither of us regret fighting for our marriage.
Me 37
H 42
Daughters 18 and 16
Continuously working at not taking each other for granted.
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My first response was oh he11 no. However, I don't think that Ike has ever seriously thought that I would leave him and want to divorce him. He has always known that I adored him, so who knows.
You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
The person who is always finding fault seldom finds anything else.
I pity the fool. - Mr. T
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I would have said nope for sure a week ago, now I think maybe.
I am basing that on an event very very early in our relationship when he did chase me.
Lil
Recovered marriage, recovering self, life gets better everyday 
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She thought that I might because my dad is a serial cheater and had a few flashes of jealousy when we were married.
But I don't think she would have forgiven infidelity on my part.
D-Day 28 Feb 06
Plan D (Not by choice) - 24 March 06
DD6
DS4(Twin1)
DS4(Twin2)
She moved away with the kids April 08. I contested it and got a lot more time with my kids. She's unhappy that I want to stay involved in their lives and don't settle for being an "every other weekend" dad.
Never going to happen.
Ongoing personal recovery through the help of friends, family, and DC United Soccer!
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In the marriage we had 3 years ago? Probably not.
Today? Who knows. I think she would.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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I actually asked my FWH this questoin shortly after D-Day. His response was "I would like to think I would". I am not really sure if he would have or not.
I agree with the poster that said the WS would have to be in the situation to know for sure because I did not think I would ever stay with my H if he cheated on me and I fought like he!! when it happened.
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Just asked my WH this very question last night.. His response. Absolutely NOT! He would have packed up and left.. I ask him why its ok for me to want it to work, he says that's me, but he could not do it...go figure.
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