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Re: The old trust issues cost me the new "good guy
TrulyHappytoBe #2143478 10/17/08 09:58 AM
Joined: May 2007
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Originally Posted by TrulyHappytoBe
It still baffles me.....I know so many awesome women who can't seem to find a guy - while the "bimbos" never have a Friday or Saturday night alone......go figure...

I am an awesome woman and it's highly unusual for me to have a Friday or Saturday night alone! Ok, I'm dating someone now, but even before that I was rarely alone on weekends. I have some super girlfriends. We don't necessarily go out but we can have a great time together nonetheless.
Re: The old trust issues cost me the new "good guy
Tabby1 #2143534 10/17/08 10:58 AM
Joined: Sep 2008
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HURTandSHOCKED Offline
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i for one love the idea of a confident, established woman that needs nothing from me. but i would hope that i would be a "good guy" and not someone who is buying bimbos for someone to have fun at the bar with.

problem is for this type of woman to get a "good guy" you are gonna have to find him somewhere besides a bar. then you too will have someone to go out with. bimbos don't care who it is they are going out but just the fact they are going out. for good people, it is not necessarily the going out but who you are sharing your time with.

Me: 32 BS DDay: 9/14/08
Slowly coming to the realization that I
am one of those who can't get past it.
Re: The old trust issues cost me the new "good guy
TrulyHappytoBe #2143842 10/17/08 04:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2007
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Originally Posted by TrulyHappytoBe
This is a phenomenon that I still don't understand. Men say that neediness and helplessness are huge turnoffs.....Independence and confident are the turn ons!

I had more than one fellow tell me that I made him feel inadequate - I didn't "need" him for anything........he was insulted that I never asked him to help me mow lawns, etc.
I think I can help explain this for you. Put very simply: men like to feel needed. It's a part of our masculinity.

As for guys saying they don't like neediness and helplessness, yet choosing those same women... this is basically equal to when women say 'Why can't I find a nice guy?' when there are all kinds of nice guys around that they don't go out with, choosing cocky jerks instead.

Bottom line: men and women both say they want something, but what they are attracted to is something completely different and they are not able to control that attraction.

BH (Me): 33, XWW: 33
Married 1999, No kids
EA: 11/04?-10/07, PA: 05/07
D-Day: 06/07
Divorced: 04/09
Affair is over for OP but not for WS
WW wants to move away w/o me
WW moved away w/o me
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