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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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Dude, stop with her and stay on your side of the street.
That is your ONLY CHANCE for Marriage RECOVERY....
talk to you soon
BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 480
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SW, I know I am going to get this wrong, but it does speak to your situation, "When a man who had been married ?60, 70 yrs, was asked his secret to marital longevity, he answered, "we never fell out of love on the same day". speaks volumes. GF
Marriages don't fail, people do.
(And I don't recall who said it)
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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That is my side of the street...
I was saying how I dont think I will ever recover.
And I hear you about crossing over, but when you love someone so much how can you not at least make a post of a board when you think they may not be seeing something clearly?
Maybe its none of my business now, but would you not try to at least point out someone's wrong step?
And dont tell me worry about youself. I am doing that, but that does not mean you stop worrying about your loved ones.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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And dont tell me worry about youself. I am doing that, but that does not mean you stop worrying about your loved ones. oh stop it already. We are not fooled by the fact that your sudden "concern" is completely self serving and is only a reaction to your wife's decision to get a divorce. You are the last person who is qualified to discern what is in your wifes best interest. For crying out loud, you still are in contact with your OW. Give it a rest, please. :RollieEyes:
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Unfortunately, your "concern" for your wife never involved ending contact with your OW all this time and your wife finally just gave up WHEN YOU DUMPED HER. YOU DUMPED HER. So spare us the crap about how "concerned" you are for her. GOOD GRIEF, that is not even good bullcrap. Here is what we call that in Texas: click here Lets look at how "concerned" you were just yesterday on this forum: I ended my EA some time ago, I was just to stubborn. I still have contact with OW because of work. We chat but just small talk now. The EA is over but I can understand why I have to end it toally. With just buying a house I cannot up and quit although I would to save my marriage, I would find a way. So please just cut the crap.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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Its not sudden concern. She will tell you I have always, ALWAYS, looked out for her.
And why are you so cynical? Is everything a ploy and self serving for anyone here who made a mistake?
Can it possibly be that I love her and dont want to see her back where I am? You would do the same thing should you think someone you cared about was not seeing clearly.
Because that is all it is. I know she it gone, I lost her long before this week.I have no one to blame but ME. This week just made her hate me instead of being friends with me but it also brought the truth out.
And I sent YOUR NC letter and Will have ZERO.
I may see her and but I wll turn and walk the other way. If she follows, I will go to the Mens room.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You are not going to get anywhere unless you get honest. All the drama, the self pity, the sudden "concern",[completely self serving] are not going to fool anyone. People here are not cynical, they are not stupid and can easily see through the crap. Cut the crap.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2008
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No my concern did not. And I was wrong I cant say that enough .
I have no choice but to work. I will be as short as possible. If you dont like that read back in ther other thread. A few people here told me NOT to make a rash decision and quit.
What the hell, Ill just quit. I can find some job, The dogs wont mind If I work walmart during the day and the stop and shop during the night. They can adjust.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You had MONTHS to quit this job and find another job and refused to do so until yesterday. You ignored your wife's request to do so all this time. Saying you were WRONG when it serves your selfish purposes fools no one.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Its not sudden, Just because you are only seeing it does not make it sudden.
Even when times were darkest, I was always there for her. Problems with her parents, medical issues, and even when out situation had her so down, I was there.
Its not self serving. I dont have much to feel good about these days and quite frankly I wish there would be a tsuami in my nice quiet little beach community, but one thing she will remember back on is that I was always there when she called.
Just not when she called me for me.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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I did have months. But.....
I was still in a fog. I was not willing to do any of that.
I dont deny that. I was not willing until a few days ago.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I can find some job, The dogs wont mind If I work walmart during the day and the stop and shop during the night. They can adjust. Are you a drama queen or a MAN? Because I can't tell reading nauseating self pity like this.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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I was making a point that its not rational to quit your job.
There are reaponsibilities to be taken care of to live.
No drama comming from me.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I was making a point that its not rational to quit your job. More excuses and rationalizations. It is very rational to use the MONTHS OF TIME you had to find another job and end your contact with the OW. BUT YOU DIDN'T. This is more of the same bullcrap, which is why zora needs to stick to her plans.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You are wasting our time here, friend.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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I am going to bed.. I take advice from people here. That is what Mark 1952 (sp) said to me...
""Before you send it, look for another job, unless you like following one bad decision with another and another.
Yep. You have to quit your job if OW still works there.
No, you don't have to quit tonight.
The marriage didn't break in 24 hours and surely won't be fixed 24 hours from now.
Think.
Act rationally.""
Sorry to listen
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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Posts: 269 |
I was making a point that its not rational to quit your job. More excuses and rationalizations. It is very rational to use the MONTHS OF TIME you had to find another job and end your contact with the OW. BUT YOU DIDN'T. This is more of the same bullcrap, which is why zora needs to stick to her plans. I cant chagne what I did not do in the past, I can only make better decisions from here on out.... Quitting with no source of income is not a good idea.
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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more bullcrap. Up until yesterday you REFUSED to look for another job and end contact with your OW. Lets not pretend here that your willingness is very "sudden." And has not even happened. You had months to end contact and DID NOT until your wife gave up. You are wasting our time, SW, if you won't get honest.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 269
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What do you want me to say?
Ive said I should have, but I didn;t
Ive said I was wrong, and I was
I cant change that. Today, right here, right now, what would you have me do? Quit?
I cant go back in time, if I could well, it would not be to look for a job 6 mnths ago.
Seriously, what do you think I should do? Up and quit before Monday morning?
Me 31
Her 33
Married 6 + years, seperated 15 months
Relationship - 13 YEARS and hopefully counting.
Status - 10/5/2008 - Agreed to divorce.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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SW, I would stop all the phony talk of "concern" when you admit out of the other side of your mouth that you have not even bothered to end contact with your OW. Those are very contradictory claims that make folks question your sincerity. Its bullcrap and you know it.
No one is asking you to quit tomorrow, and you know it, but that is irrelvant to the point. The point is that you DIDN'T, which is a true reflection of the low level of 'concern' you felt just yesterday.
So, instead of using your sudden 'concern' as an excuse to intrude on the wife you DUMPED, why not work on improving YOURSELF?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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