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I knew that I would be depressed for my birthday since it was going to be my 30th. Plus on top of everything I am pregnant with my 2nd (my son is 4 and a half)and am a high risk diabetic(insulin and meds everyday). I have been taking some depression meds also but I have decided that I need to rid myself of them because of the high risk other issues in my pregnancy. To say the least the last couple of months have not been the greatest for me with this pregnancy.

Obviously my relationship with my husband is not in great shape otherwise I don't think I would have noticed this board.

Anyhow, yesterday was my birthday and of course the car had to be taken in and I asked that my husband remember to pick up some breakfast because I wanted to sleep a bit later and I should eat around the same time everyday. Well of course the car took longer than expected, so he didn't pick up anything and I had to scramble around to find something to take with my insulin. After getting upset we finally decided to do something with the day. So we went to red lobster. Which we never go to. I choose something I thought would be a good choice for me but not too heavy seeing that I wanted to do other things that day. Well of course my husband decided to take it on himself to have the trout and finish it all. Turns out he ends up "sick" the rest of the day and can't or rather "won't" do anything I want to do because he says he is too sick. I wanted to go to a local "festival" or do something rather than just stay at home! I should also mention I am a stay at home mom........so I often see these walls everyday as it is!

We get in a fight of course. Eventually he ends up in bed falling asleep while I watch our son. I feel like a babysitter on my birthday. I love our son of course, but I really didn't want to spend my 30th birthday alone with my 4 year old doing laundry. By the time he wakes up it is 7pm and way too late to go out on a Saturday night with my son.

We ended up ordering pizza hut and my husband claimed he was too sick to eat anything. Later that night my son and I ate some cake my mom had made me the previous day and sent home with me. I was eating it and out of nowhere my husband looks at me and says........ "do you really think you should be eating that whole piece." To say the least I lost it!!!!!!!!! Through our fight he also told me that I was lucky I even went to Red Lobster!

I can't do anything in life anymore seems like and it's my birthday but I can't even eat my piece of cake and enjoy it!!!!! He claimed that he was only thinking of my blood sugars but was he thinking of it when he didn't show up with breakfast in the morning?

I just feel like he just doesn't care about me anymore and that this baby was a mistake. We need to either work out these issues or just end it rather than have this baby at this time. On top of all these things happening to me I just feel like I am trapped and utterly alone. I can't even look at him.

He didn't sleep in our bed last night and ended up taking our son to an amusement park today, FUNNY......see how what a recovery he has made to himself? He told me that our son shouldn't have to be left at home all day today. I guess I don't count.