My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years, and have been separated for 4 months. When we met she was a single mother college drop out/bartender with a 2 year old girl, just out of a relationship with a loser. I was new to the state moving here to live with a friend after graduating college. We began as friends, and she pursued a relationship with me, which I was reluctant. I developed feelings for her, we dated for a couple of years, and got married. Everything was fine, I was a dad to her daughter, supported her financially and emotionally. When I met her, her parents took care of her daughter half of the time too, they are wealthy and my wife was considered a disappointment to her “upstanding” family.
After we were married for a year and a half, she pressured me into buying a house. I was reluctant. I had a good job, but the house was a little out of our range. But I gave in ‘cause she wanted it. Then she kept spending money, buying things, new cars, a couple dogs and got pregnant with our son.
After our son was born, she began to withdraw. I took on a second job to pay for all our stuff and was working 70+ hours a week. She withdraws sex, she stops wearing wedding bands, pulls away from hugs. I tried to keep her happy, helping with housework, kids etc.
We go to marriage counseling. After two sessions she tells me she doesn’t love me anymore, maybe never did. She liked the idea of marrying me, I was acceptable to her family blah, blah, blah… I ask if there is anyone else, she says no.
She sees the therapist by herself for a month or so, comes home one day and tells me she’s leaving, going to her parents house. We need to separate. I don’t like it but fine. She stays at her parents house (they are gone for the month) for a couple days, her parents call me and tell me that they would rather have me there. So I go live with her parents. During the first month, she won’t get to together with me, I leave her alone. Then I discover once I finally go to my house that she has had her boyfriend living in my house while I was living with her parents, “working” on our marriage. She has been seeing him for I don’t know how long, I find her checkbook and the have a checking account together.
Now we filed dissolution papers, mostly working out in my favor financially, I have ½ custody of our son, but she won’t let me see my step daughter. She continues to live with her boyfriend in our house, I have an apartment. Legally I am taken care of as far as the house and custody arrangements etc.
So any input? How does this happen? What is she thinking? Is this relationship with her boyfriend going to work? (He is a pro skydiver, she finds that exciting, she works at the airport with him) I’m alone. I have no family here, and few friends ‘cause I was dedicated to my family. I’m confused…………..
