We're separated. For those of you who remember "Ginger the fiery redhead", we've been separated since that night. My H has been whining alot, crying a little, you name it. He loves me, doesn't want a divorce, blah, blah, blah. This is all before 5 pm weekdays mind you. He NEVER calls after 5 pm weekdays. THEN from Friday 5pm throughout the entire weekend...not a peep do I hear from him.<BR>It's as if he evaporates into thin air.<BR>What I know to be the truth is, he is out being single, living like he has for the past 2+ years. He's not thinking about me. He's not thinking about his daughter. He's not thinking about his son. He's not thinking about his dog. He's thinking about himself and Mr. Wee Wee. If he really loved me, really wanted our marriage, wouldn't he pull out all the stops? Wouldn't he do WHATEVER it took? He has offered NO SUGGESTIONS, NOTHING toward recommitting to our marriage. Nothing but empty words. He told me on Thursday, before 5pm, that he was "proud of me" for having a "B" in Nursing. He also told me,"I never don't want to love you". (whatever that means). Right now, I can only imagine what he's doing and it's driving me crazy. I try to "not care" and I try to "be tough" but the truth is...I'm not tough and I do care that he's probably with another woman as I type here tonight! Our babies are upstairs asleep and I'm here alone...again...and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of living this way. I'm tired of not having any help. I'm tired of not having my life partner beside me. <BR>I'm just so tired.<P><P>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR>

First, I'm sorry for your pain, which sounds horrible. I remember the Ginger post. Ick.<P>Secondly, are you doing Plan A? Because you are still talking, showing love - it sounds like... true??<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

My H is in the other dimension all the time. He is living with the OW and it is like we never ever exsisted.I hope you are doing plan A because it is easier if you have some contact with him.. Keep making those love deposit and I hope one day soon he will come back to this dimension. Good Luck><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

We are talking a few times a week and it's usually NOT about the state of our marriage.<BR>I get the feeling he's saying what he's saying to keep me "on the hook". This guy wants his cake and eat it with a big chunk of icecream on top. I'm pretending to be ok with divorce when in reality I'm torn apart. My friends, especially "Ginger", tell me they'll kick my butt if I take him back. I know I can't take him back the way he is and since he's not showing ANY hint of changing his ways...<BR>So, pertaining to geography we're in Plan B; but, the phone calls mean Plan A. As for love deposits in his account, I think he closed it a long time ago. I'm at a loss. <P>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR>

Kyra,<BR>I hear ya gal! Are you using the right or the left orr this week?? I can't remember, we've been in this boat so long! The only difference is I usually hear from my H when he is off nights.... because "I get so lonely, and I don't like sleeping alone". He has been trying to work things out.... but I'm still not convinced. It's so hard, because like you, my friends & family will disown me if I go back... either way, it won't be pretty. I just thank God that there are no children involved in our situation. <P>For now, I'm gonna keep rowing.... <BR>Butterfly<P>PS-- Good luck on your final tomorrow!<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Just another person on the "just so tired" boat. And the baby is sick again. Guess I better go get whatever sleep I'm going to get tonight. <P>It's gotten cold and snowy here. I sure do miss that warm body next to me.