If this business is a jointly owned one....how does she legally enter into a barter agreement resulting in services for no money without your consent???

I was thinking regarding the new matter of boarding his horses.

I'm a little engrossed in your sitch:

You've said that a very important EN for WW is the horses. How about you? You have already informed us that you are NOT one for moonlight canters. It appears that OM is more competent than you around the farm. Do you WANT to get up to speed?

I'm guessing from the age of your daughter that yours is a comparatively young marriage. And still your wife wandered. Suppose that there was something else that piqued her much further after reconciliation, (maybe the SF) how can you depend on this woman?

Then there's your daughter: Would separation at this young age be less traumatic?

What was your relationship like with WW prior to interference by OM? Think hard.

Are you fighting to regain your WW because she is/was worthwhile or because she is territory?

Weigh all these things carefully, separation now could prove cost effective now rather than later, and I'm not just talking money.

Would you believe that I'm pro-marriage after asking questions like these?

She and I built the farm up from scratch - while I'm not great with the horses, I am a good horse husband (as seen by our boaders and other trainers at shows)and always willing to muck a stall or fill water buckets .

I continue to think long and hard - the problem is I need to bust up the affair just to get the divorce moving along. At this point I am not even sure if I want to reconcille - the horses have ALWAYS come first for her throughout the marriage. She has always acted independently with the horses. In fact, - she said the worst thing about her parents divorce was not being able to ride the horses every day. No mention of mommy and daddy not being together. If you really want to analyze, her folks split up when she was my son's age.

Not sure I understand. Why would presence or otherwise of OM affect the divorce proceedings?



What was the attraction between you two originally?

He was the one that had her file the PFA agreement. The first few days after she said she wanted out, every time we would talk and start to make a connection, he would get her out of the house. He has her convinced that alimony and child support will pay for the farm for her. Plus, with him on the farm, I can not even go on the farm since he has threatened me the few times I have been there.

We practically grew up together. We were both part of each other's circle of friends in High School and College. We went to the junior prom together. In college, we had 80% of our classes with each other and studied together all the time. We didn't start dating seriously until our last year in college. We would talk for hours going all the way back to high school. Plus, we just had plain fun whenever we were together. It was a long and close friendship that slowly grew into love over the course of a decade.

Were you legally removed from the Farm?

When the PFA was filed, I was legally removed from the farm. However, since her only basis of filing one was because I caught her, it was dismissed so legally I can come and go as I wish.

Was it not possible to expell OM legally from the farm initially?

The grounds might be insubordination, trespassing, threatening behaviour, etc.

As soon as I caught them, he made her file a PFA against me so I've been fighting uphill ever since.

I really can't do anything yet because it could be construed as harassment. Once he is arrested, all bets are off.

I agree with you.

It is NOT surprising that you are unsure about wanting to reconcile and recover the marriage.

There is NO reason to do so while she is in this frame of mind and is not ready to recommit to the marriage.

File the divorce papers as soon as you deal with the OM. I agree that HE is the "First Priority."

Part of recovering a marriage, should you choose that route, is to first "destablize the affair," and he IS the ENEMY. There is no negotiating with the enemy, you fight them with everything you can and you crush them if at all possible. There is NO WAY this OM should be allowed any quarter, let alone any possible involvement or contact with your wife, or especially with your child.

File for CAUSE (Adultery), not for "irreconcilable differences."

A harder road, but one that is more beneficial to protect your finances and your child in the long run.

Also, filing "brings home" the seriousness of her choices. As long as she thinks she can somehow have both of you in her life, she will resist reality in favor of her "emotional responses and feelings."

Time to castrate her stud with all the legal means available and NOT time to "wimp out" even if some of the means are "distasteful."

He is evil and he is poison. Put him off the farm and out of your lives regardless of anything your wife says or does. HE is "non-negotiable" no matter you decide between your wife and you.

God bless.

I am wondering if you don't have a law that protects you from "frivolous litigation". Think about it... the initiation of the PFA implies slander. Y'no, anything that undermines their position if/when this goes to court.

Don't forget to claim expenses for board and lodging while out of your place of residence. All these could be persuant to the adultery and PFA conclusion.

I would move back in immediately. Don't give him free rain to run around your house, use your shower/bathroom, you TV, or your wife any longer. Once your back in you can call the cops to remove him because you and your wife have to both agree who stays. If your afraid the OM may get physical....that would get him out of your family's life as well. Take one for the team...don't allow him to make it till tuesday. His lawyer could tie that up for awhile and then what????

I don't understand, you were evicted from your own house, because you caught your wife in bed /w OM??

and a rastraining orede was granted against you for what cause??

Why wasn't one filed against the OM if their so lax in issuing them against a husband and his own house?

It comes down to who was quickest to the draw I think. But the mother w/kids get the preference. I think if he had a lawyer at the time he could have ensured that the OM was out as well.

What state is this??? Cousins?!?!??! ...(speechless) ..umm

I know my cousins are cute but uh, we have the same grandparents... it would be unthinkable in my family. GAG

OM threatened you. What are you waiting for? Get a lawyer get OM thrown off your property and barred from ever stepping on it again.

He needs a witness to back him up.

Um excuse me, 2nd cousins as my WW would say. We live in Delaware and it is legal...She actually said this.

Yup - in the PFA she said I was verbally threatening them and had mental issues. It is one of the worst laws on the books in Delaware. When I caught them, they were both asleep naked with no covers. So, everyone could imagine my first instinct, but, I thought better of it and got the "Big Gun" - my prized Digital SLR camera and snapped away.

When we had the hearing to drop the PFA's, the judge looked at the pictures and told my wife she was lucky I only grabbed a camera!