Well its been a month since I told him he had to move out because I couldn't live like a doormat anymore. I guess he thought I would put up with his constant texting and still working with her forever. I just couldn't take his distance and coldness anymore.

At first he just said okay I'l move. Then he started in with the yelling about child support not being fair and asking me to please not file the new papers.

I feel great on one hand because the dark cloud isn't hanging around here every time he walks through the door. I feel stronger because I finally took back some control of my life. It is so much better than sitting around wondering and waiting to see what HE wants. But I am still scared to death of not being able to make ends meet and thinking it's over after ten years sucks. I thought we would always be together.

He is such a control freak. He says he will pick up our son when he feels like it and doesn't have to tell me when he will be here. Says he will not drop him off with anyone but me. I MUST be here. Walks in the house like he still lives here. Constantly questions me as to who I am hanging out with and what I have been doing. Texts me saying how sexy I look.

I am still not sure what I want. One day I think 'what a jerk', then the next I miss him terribly and just want him back home. I need to move on though. I have been grieving this as a loss for over a year now.

The last time we talked he said he hasn't had sex with her and doesn't know if he still loves me or not.

Dang this stuff is so hard. I hate him for hurting me and then especially for seemingly not caring.

I never wrote a plan B letter should I now? I need help stopping his manipulative hold on my heart.


God bless you all!

Thanks for letting me vent......

LetitBe, I would go into Plan B. Your husband is in cakeeating mode. Do you know about plan B and what it entails?

Letitbe,

I agree with Mel. He will cake-eat forever if you let him. My WH did the same thing.

Plan B will give you peace and save your soul....

He's continuing to whittle away at your self esteem. IMO, he's confident that if he keeps busting your chops this way, you'll eventually just ask him to come back. And look how close you are to doing it!

Plan B! If he's not willing to go through an intermediary to see his child, maybe you should find that out now, and let your child move on from his manipulations, too.

Okay the search feature is still not working.

Does anyone know where to find some copies of some plan B letters?
I have half hardily tried to plan B but never told him or wrote a letter.

I am partly to blame by letting him take me to dinner with our son and texting him back. I have to stop. Argh I am such an idiot!

Thanks

i don't get the feeling that you are really READY to go into Plan B emotionally. The worst thing you can do is send a letter and then CAVE IN when he calls. That ruins your credibility and takes away all your leverage.

So, I would make sure you are mentally PREPARED and that you have all your finances in order. Get your visitation set up and designate an intermediary.

You will also want to change the locks so he can't come barging in. I would have a plan in place to avoid his contact attempts so he doesn't get through.

How will you handle visitations, ie: the schedule and the exchanges without seeing him?

All this needs to be carefully planned.

Thanks Melody and everyone. I thought a new topic for a letter might be good incase others are searching for the same thing.

Why do you think I am not ready? Honestly I just want to know. I wasn't ready for any of this but I am strong and I don't think he is gonna change. He thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants whether its spending money on expensive toys or having an affair. Never a thought of how his actions effect those who love him the most. Seems like anyway.

I may want to see him or hope he throws me crumb I admit. But I have to stop because it is destroying me.