I've been married almost two years. My husband was deployed to Iraq and returned 8 months ago. Soon after he returned, I began having strange feelings about him, feeling like he was telling me "half truths," and I wasn't sure if I fully trusted him. I found on the computer that he had been visiting a website where people go to look at other people's sexual videos, and to meet just for sex, sort of like a demented personals website. I had seen that he had contacted a number of women, there was a page where there were pictures of women he had "flirted" with, I assume that means he sent them a message. I have known he used pornography, and I told him it bothered me a little, but I understood that men are different than women and need that visual stimulus. When I saw this website he'd been on however, I knew it was more than Porn. When I confronted him, his first reaction was frustration and anger for me "snooping" into his personal life. I held everything inside, and even though he told me what he called the "truth," I knew there was something else there. Recently, I returned to our home town, across the country, to start a job, being that we would be returning to the state I am in now when my husband was done with the military. I needed his password for his email to verify a flight and when I went into it, I found that he had been answering personal ads. There were two he sent, one said "email me if you want to talk", another with his pictures and him asking what the person thought and looked like, and a third, a direct email to a person with his pictures. I confronted him, and he flipped out, hung up on me, and the rest of that day, I refused his calls, even when he had his brother call me. We talked about the issue the next day and he claimed that it was a joke, that he had found a friend of his on a singles ad website and responded to it. When asked about the direct email, he said he didn't know and didn't remember. I didn't believe him. Later I found what I thought to be the girl he emailed directly, someone much younger and living in the neighboring town of where he is now, and when I confronted him with that, he gave me the same BS, that he didn't know, didn't remember, but later he "came clean" and told me "everything" about the situation. Claiming he never physically cheated, that he has had issues with sex, and "voyerism" as he put it, he said he needed the thrill of seeing women but because "porn" wasn't enough, he needed the people to be real. He explained that he would find these people and ask them for nude pictures, sometimes it worked, sometimes not, he said. He admitted that he had been doing it, even after I found out about the first website, and that he had lied to me many times. From the first time I found out about all this, I knew in my gut he was lying. He always told me he never lied to me, but I knew what he did, he told only part of the truth to pull the wool over my eyes. We're working things out, or trying to, and it's awful that we are not together due to job circumstances, because if we were together, I would insist we go to counseling. I am still healing from all this, and have lost a lot of trust in him, if not all, but he talks about things like everything is fine and we're over the whole thing. I've said I am not, and he gets upset and angry and retorts that I need to get over it, because he doesn't want to have it hanging over his head for the rest of his life. I'm not quite sure what to do, I am planning on going to a therapist on my own now, but do I wait the 5 months until he comes home to go to couseling? If anyone has any sort of advice, let me know, I am so lost on what to do.