I'm responding to you after reading your post's on Christalle's rant...don't wanna step on toes.<P>I think of you a lot because our stories are so very similar and our healing is nearly identical. I too find myself "frozen" in a memory at times and I hate that. I am wanting to talk about some minor details with H again for closure but know that it really makes no difference. I try to get past all this by reminding myself that in the midst of it all he was writing in his journal how much he loved me and that he intended to grow old with me, that I was his life partner. <P>The sane part of me sees the big picture and how the OW doesn't even play into this. But the woman who was so hurt still gets angry, still has irrational fears and it is her that comes here still to heal.<P>Somedays the thing that really ticks me off is that H got all those incredible "falling in love" feelings, he got a first glance and a first kiss and I will NEVER, EVER get that again!!!!!! Hmph!<P>Thanks for listening. I love reading your posts because you remind me that I am not alone or unique in all this.<P>------------------<BR>Joan <P>"Turn your wounds into wisdom..." That really cool black gal who was on Oprah all summer.<BR>

joanie-<BR>you should not worry about your h's<BR>"falling in love" feelings about ow<BR>they were not true feelings of love<BR>they were true feelings of infatuation<BR>i know because i had them too...and <BR>believe me there is a humongous difference...much peace and love..trying hard

Just quick...I'm almost out the door, put I wanted to let you know. YES YES YES, you described exactly how conflicted I feel. And since our problems are so much less than other's here, there's an element of guilt in them too.<P>I'll be back on Wednesday.<P>Thanks for sharing, Joanie, it makes me feel less alone. e-mail me at faithhopelove2@go.com if you'd like!<P>Trying hard...if you can tell the difference between the kinds of love, did the infactuation fade or is it a treasured little nugget even though you see it for what it is?<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

trying hard...I hope you see this and answer FHLs question. I'd be interested too in seeing how you view the feeling now. )<P>------------------<BR>Joan <P>"Turn your wounds into wisdom..." That really cool black gal who was on Oprah all summer.<BR>

Joan,<P>2 cents worth.. <P>Perhaps you can remember the infatuation of your first love...??? the heart flutterings and the excitement of first crushes and undying love that seemed soooo important then...and oh so real...like your whole world depended on it..??? <P>If you do..compare it to how you know love to be as an adult and you have your answer..??? he is an adult acting like an adolescent to me...? I did that too...<P>cossie...<P>------------------<BR>To know who you are is to see who I am....<P>