I have been a lurker on here for ages, now I'm finally coming to post my story. I need help...bad.
I met my husband online, he lived in Puerto Rico, I lived in Florida. We talked for about a year and I visited many times within that year. Then in 2006, he decided to move over here to be with me. We moved in together and everything was great. We got married in October of 2006 and I got pregnant almost immediately (I had 2 children prior to this marriage). Well, things went alright, he had a decent job and we were just barely paying the bills...but we were still happy. I did notice how lazy he was, but he was working outside all day so I didn't expect him to do much. He lost his job over something REALLY stupid that he did and things just went downhill from there.
Anyway, I'll fast forward it. A few months ago, we were about to lose EVERYTHING because his job just wasn't paying well. I work from home and make decent money but with this economy families need more than one income to make it. So, since we couldn't pay rent and were about to get evicted, we decided to move to Puerto Rico with his parents. They have a little house in the back that was empty so here we don't have to pay rent. Well, we came here and I am totally, completely miserable. I have nothing. I have no phone, no car, nothing. My husband is gone ALL the time, either at mommy's house watching TV and sleeping, or out on the street with his friends. He's 25 but doesn't act like it. He has not made an effort AT all to find a job, expects me to find an online job for him like what I do. He doesn't help me at all with the kids, just sleeps all day. He supposedly goes to the gym for 3 hours a day which I find hard to believe because he's SO out of shape and is never sore. He forbids me to get a phone for myself, when he has a cell phone that his parents pay for and he uses it all the time.
About a week ago I found out that I'm pregnant again. I was on the pill because I don't even know if I want to be in this marriage anymore plus we can't afford another child right now. But, I don't believe in abortion so I'm going to have to find a way. Well, he's not happy about it either and he just refuses to give me any help with anything. I'm always sick, tired and nauseas...normal pregnancy things. Our pantry and refrigerator are almost bare. All I have are hot dogs, chimichangas and some Chef Boyardee stuff but I use that to feed the kids. I am so sick to my stomach all the time that I can't eat what we have here. I need something bland, but we don't have it and we don't even have a penny to our name. He borrowed some money from mommy today and told me that I'm spoiled because I wanted a $5 sandwich from Subway that I was going to share with the kids. Anyway, I'm just trying to show that he can't even support his family and he has no ambition to try and even look for a job. I'm pregnant AND nursing so I'm very, VERY hungry and he doesn't care.
I'm just so depressed and I feel like I'm stuck. I have no money to buy plane tickets back home, plus since I sold my car I would have no transportation. I don't have money for a place to stay either. I just wish I could fly back with my kids and leave him here. I'm tired of working, cleaning, cooking (when we have food) and taking care of the kids while he does NOTHING. He has not lifted one finger to help me in the house and I work constantly. I would rather be a single mom and take care of 4 kids instead of being with him, taking care of the kids and him too because he can't keep a job. I love him to death but I'm really starting to resent him. We had an issue with porn where I didn't want him to watch it anymore but I gave up because he didn't love me enough to stop. It's a battle that I just won't win. I don't think it's fair that I had to just roll over and let him have his way. I tried to get him to do the surveys on here before but he doesn't take them seriously. He doesn't care.
Sorry this is so long. It's just that I'm stuck and I have no one to talk to. He won't let me have a phone and when I use his he's on top of me all the time, listening to every word I say. But yet he can run and hide every time he gets a phone call. Sorry, won't start ranting again. I just need help, advice, and a few prayers wouldn't hurt either.
Help!!!
