I am in real need of help in my marriage and do not know what to do. My wife and I have been in trouble for 2 years now and to much has happened to even start to explain. My problem right now is I do not know how to get things started in the right direction. I really do want to pull this relationship together but after 2 years I just feel to much has happened that there isn't any engery left in either one of us. She feels like I have NPD and doesn't want to dicuss anything else or even wants to try anything but getting help on that. I do not think I have NPD and do understand where she might feel that way. She has told me several times lately that she isn't going to try on the relationship anymore until I change and she starts seeing what she needs. The problem is I need to see some change too. I am hurt just as much as she is but she isn't willing to work on what she needs to change. I really do not know what to do from here... If anyone can help I'm open for idea snd hopefully some guideance. I can get into plenty more detail if I need too

Welcome to Marriage Builders, Tim...

Thank you for being here.

More info needed...how long married...any children...what plan have you guys had to restore your marriage and have you been following it?

Have you read any of Dr. Harley's books, his articles on this website, attended a seminar or used his home study course?

Were you diagnosed by a professional with NPD?

Have you or your wife been involved in an affair in the last three to four years?

As for the impasse going on currently...would you consider there are actually three parts to your marriage...you, her and The Marriage? What you will not do for her until she does for you, consider doing first for The Marriage. The Marriage doesn't let you or put you down...doesn't betray, deride or critcize...The Marriage is your union...and you can honor, cherish and act for it even when you don't feel like doing so for your partner.

That's solely about you...your half of the union...not her.

Also, ask yourself if you want to be right or if you want to be married...

All these questions helped me...just passing them on to you...

You're not alone.

LA