Greetings to everyone.

Tight jeans are ruining my life and my marriage. It is either/both an obsession or a fetish that I have known since I was very young. As a small child, waist high, I would dream of a recurring character which consisted of only the lower half of a womans body in tight jeans. I was also obsessed with one of my aunts, not blood related, who would wear these painted-on zip-around jeans. Go ahead and snicker. I would.

I don't know why this compels me! I don't know how to shut it off! I have gone to marriage counseling by myself. The counseling wasn't very progressive because my wife refused to participate.

It all started, with her, when she witnessed me looking at another woman's butt in a store. Later, she observed me browsing for it on the Internet a few times.

My wife is a tall, elegant, beautiful, talented, very intelligent, and gifted woman from the Bahamas... If I may be a MAN for a moment, I would also add that she has a shape that would stop traffic!

I have never seen her completely naked. She is defensive about exposing herself and has a history of abuse and acne scars or something. I don't see her for her fine details. She is my princess and I am crazy about her.

My fascination ruined her self esteem. She used to wear tight jeans for awhile, but from my fetish perspective, the “off-the-rack” trendy skinny PEZ model clothes do not complement her bombshell a$$. I've stolen some rare and brief glimpses of her bare bottom and fantasized about some perfect jeans that would conform to it, so I could enjoy it much more often and freely.

I have not been demanding or exhibited unrealistic expectations of my wife, but I feel like a diabetic that is craving peanut butter cups.

Then it blossomed. A wind of generalization swept over everything. Now, it is about any “pretty girls.” It is not my option to dictate what is pretty to me. Then it became gym shorts, which she saw one some girl in a store and they weren't even tight, but short. Then, she thought I was having an affair with the obnoxious much older female neighbor of whom I have assisted with trivial things because her husband is in jail. I was never in her home or mine alone with her. My wife and I moved out of a stressful environment, living in a large house I am invested in with my best friend. They did not get along at all. We moved and I was trying to make friends in our new life together. She was not interested in making any friends. Then, it was my other friends 14 year old daughter because she was wearing short droopy pajama pants on an occasion. Then, any female person on the street wearing anything snug or revealing their legs.

The only common factor now is gender... for now.

I want, so badly to have a good real life with my wife but I have come to dread to be in public, watch television, enjoy movies, because of the fear of some female person doing anything that may cross the gradient line of decency.

Early on, I have stopped sketching, 3D modeling, and playing video games. I have removed every shred of woman-that-is-not-her from my life. On occasion, she has “found” old music videos or pictures which were dealt swift justice by her. She found "Macarena" and "You Put a Move on My Heart" not long ago. Good grief.

I accept blame. It was wrong for me to have those things, draw and create those things. I've stopped, but it just won't go the @#$% away! She won't stop punishing me for it. I know she is hurting inside.

So, here I am... house pet...eunuch... I try to avoid any conflict. I accept fault. I am grateful for any positive attention.

You might say I need to grow a pair of kiwis. I would reply that it is not that easy. I am all the family she has. I cannot be offense and defense at the same time. We went through such obstacles to be together, since we were from different countries.

I cannot stay focused on much else. I used to be talented and interesting. I am consumed with grief and stress. I drink myself to sleep... because it works.

I am not a mean or vulgar person. I love my wife with all my heart and I tell her. I tell her she is beautiful and sexy. I have never uttered ANYTHING to the contrary. She just does not believe the words when they come from my mouth. We do not have sex anymore.

She has recently asked me a couple times what I think about when I masturbate. She asked, “Tight jeans?” She could see it was true. She seemed withdrawn afterward. Recently, she asked AGAIN if I thought about it while masturbating, and I think I said yes. She said she signed up for a porn web site.

Of late she spends a disturbing amount of time on Second Life. This makes me feel like dirt.

I have not browsed for tight jeans for awhile until lately. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. The difference is that I researched jeans and actually found brands that would fit her very well. Brazilian jeans. Not Brazilian-style, mind you. There is a Brazilian fabric called moleton that is very conforming even on the most ample woman. I am both excited and apprehensive. I want to tell her... somehow. I have the deluded impression that if she wears them, she will feel sexy again due to my excited reactions, and our relationship will start to improve. Tight jeans started it, so, like a flu shot, maybe tight jeans can fix it too.

This is just a summary.

Thanks for your time.

I think you both need some serious therapy.

Good grief. You think you've heard it all then.....

You already posted this a week or two ago in a different forum. What happened? Not getting enough attention there?

:RollieEyes:

Charlotte

exactly the same post, different user name.
last time it was bitterender

1st fetish post

Aha! Good spot, Lil!! I remembered the post but not the user name.
Right on!!

Charlotte

How can you people ridicule this poor poster? Can't you see this is escalating out of control? First it was jeans. Then it went to knickers and then onto gym shorts. Pretty soon this guy is going to move onto swimsuits, then thongs and then, God forbid, women in the buff. And what next? Children? I can see from one comment that he seems to be considering becoming a switch hitter if the jeans are tight enough.

I was told to repost here.

I forgot my log-in and setup a new account. This is something I want to resolve. Don't drive me away. Please.

Switch-hitter? No. That was sarcasm about her generalizing my attraction.

Am I in the wrong place again?

This feels much worse.

This is an infidelity forum. Are you having an affair? Is your W having an affair?

I am told that she is having an emotional affair with the Second Life game. Is that relevant?

Having and affair??? Infidelity??? I would say that is more relevant than a jeans fettish.

But if your post is legitimate - yes you need serious therapy.

So.... what you really need is this?
Take 2 of these and lie down

I am not going to gratify you clowns with any more explanations. I am not the best husband, and I am certainly not the worst.

I love her enough to make a spectacle of myself to people like you.

I will post this elsewhere.

It would have been comforting to have some clear positive influences so that I could share this with my wife.

If you have any concept of a conscience, you will not soil my future posts with spite and intolerance.

Yeah?

You can hardly blame people around here for being suspicious. You posted one time on 9/16 under "bitterender." When you came back under this name, you posted on the "welcome" thread that you "just joined." I think that was on 10/8, IIRC.

A lot of trolls show up here and one in particular keeps coming back and has stalked several members here to the point where some them have left. So your actions look highly suspicious.

My apologies if you are not a troll. That's the way it looks.

Charlotte

Oh yeah, and if you are really THAT thin-skinned then you'd better not hang around here...or you'd better get some extra layers of skin grafts.

People around here DO NOT pull any punches. For the most part.

bitterender/almost home

Did you read the information not2fun posted on your first thread?
Just in case you did not, I am re posting it here for you.

I am certainly no psychologist but anyone who looks at a naked woman and fantasizes about what she would look like in CLOTHED in jeans seems backwards.

And since the poster says it is ruining the marriage, I would give it an obsession at the very least.

But the original post didn't seem to ask about help with an A or even mention that one was going on. All it talked about was a jeans fettish. Certainly there are better places to seek help than here.

Except for an obtuse reference to some web site, where does the subject of W's A even come up?

If the poster is to be believed, a critical part of AH's Plan A will be to give up jeans fascination. That is a job for a therapist. Or is there a "jeans anonymous"?