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Hello all my MB friends, Things just took a bizarre turn for me. It's nearly 2 years from the day my now ex WW told me she wanted out of our marriage and I get this e-mail from her tonight: Eph,
I want you to hear this from me and not the kids. I just got married. The kids and I will talk about this. I think for the kids sake we need to tell them the same type of thing! I will explain the different kinds of love: the love between a brother and sister, a mommy and daddy... I will tell them that I love/care about you but because we were not able to fix our adult problems we are not together anymore. It's no one's fault. Im going to let them know that we love them no matter what and they are the most important thing to both me and you. There is nothing and no one more important!
I have said this before, I am truly sorry our marriage failed! I take responsibility for my role! If I could do some things differently I would in a heart beat. In communicating with you, though, I have not seen the changes you claim to have made. I am sorry.
Despite what you think/believe, I love DS7 and DD5 with EVERYTHING in me--with my WHOLE heart, with EVERY breath I breathe, to the very CORE of my being!! It is important to me that they know this, as well as, feel this from me. It is important to me that they know the same and feel it from you.
exWW WTF? It's like D-day all over again and the wound of betrayal has been repoened once again.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Wow. That's a shocker. I wouldn't want to give any odds on this marriage lasting.
Sorry that this happened to you.
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So sorry feller.
Worked out which OM she married yet ?
MB Alumni
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Eph,
I am sorry you received such heartless communication from a WS.
It is evident she is wants YOU to work with her on a minimize the error of her ways. She isn't asking your forgiveness. She is demanding it. Very different from someone who is truly repentant.
She even demands her children (as young as they are) be manipulated into supporting her chosen lifestyle. Again, no repentance seen.
To accuse you of NOT making changes is a low blow.
In the long run it will be better NOT to have to deal with her as a WS.
Still I know it hurts now.
Give your heart and love to your children. You both need each other right now. Bond with your family.
I recommend NOT responding to the WS but expose her comments to your support group.
Take care,
Orchid
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Eph,
I am so sorry. I don't know your story, but I can say I do relate.
ExH had been living with OW for almost 3 years. We were D'd last year.
I found out by accident last week that my ExH has married the OW. Has been for awhile now. He has yet to tell my kids!
He never admitted the A to me either, still hasn't.
I have posted elsewhere that it DOES feel like D Day all over again. I'm back to not sleeping, not eating etc.
The nightmare really does not ever seem to end!
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Dayum Eph, she has issues. I would not even give her a response.
It sounds like she is still in fogville, trying to justify her actions.
Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable.
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Eph, I am sure sorry this has happened. I know you had been hopeful. And I very sorry for your kids - and you know why. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I will explain the different kinds of love: the love between a brother and sister, a mommy and daddy... Will this include the kind of "special love" that destroyed your children's home?  I don't know your story Eph but sorry the wounds have been reopened for you. Part of me thinks you should ignore it and the other part thinks you should send a card to OM's parents congratulating them on welcoming their new adulterous DIL into their family. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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I like the thought about the card. OW's parents are just a few years older than me, so it would look like sour grapes on my part and that I really gave a sh*t, even though I do.
Can't believe how parents could encourage their kids to do such a thing. I heard OW's parents LOVE my ExH!
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Please oh please use my reply to her!
Dear blood sucking harpy XW,
I dutifully told the kids long ago that you were sent from he77 by satan himself and you left because you didn't love them anymore, but decided that being ****EDIT**** is much better than being their mommy.
All in all, I hope you and OM have a severe allergic reaction to seafood at your wedding made in he77 and spend the rest of your days on a ventilator while being abused by the orderlies who make money from selling your "services" out to sickos.
XOXOXO
XH
Last edited by Choctaw; 10/12/08 07:45 PM. Reason: TOS
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Despite what you think/believe, I love DS7 and DD5 with EVERYTHING in me--with my WHOLE heart, with EVERY breath I breathe, to the very CORE of my being!! It is important to me that they know this, as well as, feel this from me. It is important to me that they know the same and feel it from you. Eph525 - Hugs, brother. Of course she is worried and of course she WANTS "her truth" to BE truth, but we all know that is just "fogtalk rationalization." IF she REALLY loved the children with "everything" in her, she would NOT have engaged in adultery, not have divorced, and would not have married someone else who she now wants to "take over" as "daddy" to YOUR children(of course she will deny this, but said or unsaid, that WILL be her new objective). She CHOOSE her path, and her path does NOT include the children. Let the children KNOW that truth. DO NOT let her toxic thoughts be presented to the children and DO NOT even get close to appearing to "agree with" her thinking that her choices and actions DO NOT have some very real consequences. You could not, and cannot, stop her selfish pursuits and her self-centeredness. DO NOT allow your children become a part of her "world" and her "worldview." God bless.
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Oh, Eph,,sweetheart, I am so sorry you have to go through this! As everyone has said, she's still in the fog justifying her actions, and expecting you to help her. As if anyone who reads that drivel would believe DS & DD are her priority? Sure, when she doesn't even have the decency to help them prepare for such a major change in their lives beforehand?? I am sorry to say that even at their young age, it's even obvious to your children that she is totally self absorbed. I can only imagine how terribly painful this is for you. Most certainly it would be like Dday all over again. Please be sure to reach out for the help you need for yourself. It's MHO that she just gave the karma bus driver directions to her house with this latest action,,,,,,,,,,I can't think of a faster way to help implode an A. 24/7 pressures of 'reality' life. Just make sure you stay back as it speeds by you and your kids.  EPH
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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THIS!Dear blood sucking harpy XW,
I dutifully told the kids long ago that you were sent from he77 by satan himself and you left because you didn't love them anymore, but decided that being ****EDIT**** is much better than being their mommy.
All in all, I hope you and OM have a severe allergic reaction to seafood at your wedding made in he77 and spend the rest of your days on a ventilator while being abused by the orderlies who and make money from selling your "services" out to sickos.
XOXOXO
XH
Last edited by Gack1; 10/13/08 08:52 AM.
Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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Wow, E. I can imagine this hurts like D-day.
I happen to agree with Bugs, though. It is the ultimate in justification. The ONLY way to make it "right" and worth all that she gave up was to do it all the way.
It will not last. As you well know, a marriage license means diddly to a wayward.
Chin up, Eph. You have much to be proud of.
Fox
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Yuck. She sounds like my ex's OW who continued to maintain that the 12 year old daughter she abandoned was the most important thing in her life. Just more blah, blah, blah..................
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Yeah, it's been quite a roller coaster but I am over the hump and moving on again. I need to speak with my attorney on some possible legal ramifications, but I have not fully decided if I will bother with a response.
I have a great support group around me including many of you here that can help me decide on an appropriate response, and as much as I would like to send Pariah's response it will just cause a crapstorm that I don't want to deal with.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Eph,
Sorry about the surprise my friend.
""I think for the kids sake we need to tell them the same type of thing!""
OOooeewwbbooooyyyeeee!!! WACKOLA!!
NOW she is concerned!!
""we were not able to fix our adult problems""
It is amazing how CHILDISH AND IMMATURE this is!
DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WITH A RESPONSE!! The silence will be more deafening than anything else you could do.
IMHO
kirk
CORDUROY PILLOWS ARE MAKING HEADLINES!!
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DO NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THIS WITH A RESPONSE!! Or if you do, do it with an unemotional response. Something like "WW, Thank you for informing me about your current marital status. I have informed our children accordingly, in the way that I believe is best. EPH" Don't address, much less attempt to discuss, any of the fog-babble in her note. And of course send it AFTER you have informed the children of her current status... A response like my example above should make it clear that (1) you are ignoring her fog-babble, and (2) there is no "we" - you will do what you believe is right for your children.
ManInMotion
===========
(see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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oh, yeah...We have a co-parenting session Tuesday. That should be interesting and I am sure the counselor will be interested in how this went down.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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I wouldn't respond to her or even acknowledge what she said. In your session, wish her good luck.
By the way, update us, WHO did she marry?
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