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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14 |
feel i posted too much info here
Last edited by needadvice2; 10/13/08 10:49 AM.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome. Well, first, you need to tell your friend the truth about her brother and that you don't want to hear anything about him ever again. The way it is now, he is still in your life somewhat. That will never work.
I agree with your counselor that your husband's drinking needs to be addressed. Have you gone to Alanon?
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14 |
Thanks for your response believer- just feel that I posted too much information.
No I have not attended Alanon- although it was recommended by therapist.
I guess I do have to come clean with my friend about her brother so she quits talking about him to me. Everytime I hear his name it hurts.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Get to Alanon quickly. They will REALLY help you. I know exactly what you mean by not wanting to go anywhere with him because of the "babysitting" factor. My sons' father was an alcoholic and I can tell you hundreds of stories of days and events that were ruined by his drinking. I'm sure you have lots of stories too.
Have NC with the OM. Confide in your friend and ask for her help. Go to Alanon and get HEALTHY. Then you can make some good choices.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 14 |
How did Alanon help?
I am just not so sure I want to be married anymore- even if he does quit- it may be too late to get over the past- and I cannot talk to him about it because he gets angry and tells me to stop bringing up the past. How do you move forward when you cannot communicate with your spouse?
I heard somewhere that once women reach menapause (premenapause) they lose the nurturing aspect of their personality and decide they do not want to "take care" of their husbands anymore- I wonder sometimes if this is what is happening to me.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Alanon will really help you. I promise you that. If you don't like the people in the first meeting, go to another one.
Alanon will teach you to be happy whether or not your husband drinks. In my case, I left my husband. But there are many other women who learn how to have a wonderful life while still married. It is really a miracle program, and you can't lose.
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