All,

I'm about as new to this as you can get; so bear with me. My wife and I met in Germany while I was stationed there in '05. We married four months later. I know, it was way too soon, but we were doing pretty well for a while. She moved from Germany to be with me in Korea and that's when the trouble started.
She was never happy. It started with her complaining about Korea, then complaining about the other Americans in out are. Then she was complaining that she couldn't find a job or go to school. All of these are obviouse problems, so I just told her to hold on until we leave Korea or move to a better post. We moved twice, in fact, and every posting was better than the last. But the complaining got worse and slowly started turning on me. I wasn't promoting fast enough or making enough money. I wasn't doing all the great things so-and-so was doing. I wasn't tall enough or in shape anymore. There were even days when I would come home and she'd be curled up the the bathroom floor crying her eyes out. All I could do was try to be understanding, but I couldn't seem to keep her happy. It wasn't constant. There were a lot of very good times for us. It just more and more frequent.
We finally decided that she should go visit some friends in Alabama while I was out on a field problem. She needed a vacation as much as anybody. It seemed to work. As the month went on, she seemed to be relazing and becoming, well, happier. Then the week before she came back, she gave me 'The Call' She told me that she wanted to move to AL and get a job, start school, buy the house we had talked about... When she arrived back in Korea, she was nothing but anger and hate. She wouldn't let me touch her, talk to her or interact in any real way unless we were with friends.
She moved out and is now living in AL. Since then, she has lost hope that we can stay together. She still cares about me and is willing to concider working things out, but I'm fighting to keep her from just filing papers and leaving me for good. Oddly enough, we have been able to start repairing our communication skills. E-mail has been a big help with that and we're starting to have better phone calls, too. She says no matter what, she wants to remain friends, and though I respect and appriciate this, I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE! I make this clear to her as often as I can find the courage.
I have 90 days before I return to the States and we plan on making the best of this time. I then have 30 days to work things out with her and then I deploy. I need a plan to set us up for success until I get there and then a plan to set our marriage right before I leave again. Help!

Hi Schatzi,

Firstly welcome to MB.
After reading you post, I am not sure you are in the correct forum.
At the bottom of your post you will see a button with "notify" on it. Click on it and ask the moderators to move you to General Questions 2.

I see some red flags in your post that makes me suspect that your W may be having an affair.
The vets over there will be able to give you a bit more help and hopefully will be able to yay or nay the possiblity of an affair.


Sorry you had to find yourself here but you are in good company.

Lil

Lil,

I asked that my post be moved to General Questions. Thanks for your help. Perhaps someone will have some insight for me. For now, I see these red flags, too. I have voiced my fears about this to her a couple of times and she has brought up the subject a couple of times as well. After speaking with her, I do not believe that she is having an affair, though the stage is certainly set for one.
If she is, my intentions to repair this marriage remains the same. Thanks for the heads up.

S