I've posted on here before - I've been following plan A and working with Jennifer and everything. And I've been doing a really stellar job and meeting all of WH's ENs. Except I think I did too good a job filling his SF needs because now I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, help!!! He still hasn't agreed to no contact. And he's really weird about having kids. He started his affair when I was pregnant with our daughter who is now six months. It's just a weird trigger for him. It scares him to death and sends him into panic mode. So now I don't know if this is something that will make it too difficult for him to continue his A with her or if I've sent him even further off the deep end.

And by the way whatever happens, this baby is a blessing to me and I am keeping it no matter what he decides. I thought I had been seeing some progress with the two of us and he had been becoming more loving but now he will barely even talk to me. I swear I didn't do this on purpose to try to get him to stay. DH and I spent two years and tons of money on fertility treatments trying to get pregnant with our daughter. I never in a million years thought it would be this easy to get pregnant again!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do now!!! I'm going to continue in plan A as much as I can but I don't know what else to do. I've confronted OW before and I just told her husband about the baby but I'm afraid to confront OW and tell her for fear of what it would do to H! Would that really send him off the deep end? And what if something happens to the baby? I don't want OW to start praying that I miscarry or something. I know that's probably silly but my mind is in such a tizzy right now!!!!

Not sure if plan A is going to do much other than add stress to you that you don't need while pregnant. He's weird about kids but you two went through all the fertility stuff? I'm confused. Why are you having unprotected sex with your WH when he's still in an affair? You are not only risking your health but now your baby's as well.

Maybe others will disagree but I say plan B.

My FWW was the BW of her first husband and went through almost the same thing 25 years ago. They had their first child (daughter) after 6 years of various fertility treatments and practices. About when D turned 1, he began an A, while shortly thereafter W became pregnant again. He then claimed it wasn't his, and accused her of an A (subsequent postnatal tests proved otherwise).

W's IC at the time explained that her WH had a fear of commitment and responsibility, which led to his seeking escape from those in the A. Unfortunately, the second child only made things worse, and the additional responsibility drove him further away. He moved out and with his OW when W was about 4 months pregnant.

I sincerely hope you fair better.

Is he still having the affair? Did you expose? I didn't see that you did.

It's an EA with a coworker and I have exposed to everyone I can think of. I'm pretty sure it's not a PA because he has performace issues in that regard (and I've been keeping him way too tired out to even think about doing anything with anyone else) and I have access to all of their e-mails back and forth and I can see from what they've said that they have not slept together yet. Besides, all of his time is accounted for so unless he's doing it on his desk in the middle of his wide open office space in front of everyone I don't see how it could be a full blown PA. There is simply no time.

I have exposed to all of his bosses and to HR at his office. His family knows. I have confronted OW. I speak regularly with OW's husband so that we can keep tabs on both of them. My parents know and are dying to confront him and her and also speak to her parents which I will probably let them do this week. His friends all know. His ex wife knows. There is pretty much no one left to expose to. I have been doing a really good Plan A and feeling really strong. No LB's or anything and Jennifer says I'm on the right track. It really seemed to be starting to make a difference too. He was becoming more loving to me and communicating less and less with her.

I just can't get him to agree to NC. And I cannot do Plan B at this time. I spoke with Jennifer about it on Monday and she agreed with me. It is simply not monetarily feasible to move out with my baby at this time. Especially now. I am working on that but it's going to take some time. She said for me to continue to do plan A for as long as I could and she thought that I was one that could do it for a while because I'm pretty mentally strong. But the pregnancy may change everything. I'm going to be stressed whether I do plan A or plan B so I guess I might as well just stick with Plan A for as long as I can as long as I can take good care of me and this baby and my six month old daugher.

He was weird about kids in his previous marriage I think because he got his ex wife pregnant when they were 18 and their parents forced them to marry. But he wanted kids with me - or so he said - and even had his vasectomy reversed so that we could have them. I never held a gun to his head and would have been fine and happy with him even if we never had kids. And he was faithful to me for almost 7 years right up until i got pregnant and then boom! I guess it triggered his old fears and he didn't realize that it would.

And I was having unprotected sex because I am pretty certain that it wasn't a PA. If I wasn't certain he wouldn't be getting any sex never mind unprotected sex. But I will go get tested when I see my OB just in case.