Thanks for the prayers we can definitely use them. I'll be praying for you also. I pretty much had made the accusations also but never had concrete proof. The child support papers and paternity test are concrete! We have had the OC for 5 days out of the last 7. I did get a laugh though at the OW expense. She actually called and wanted to know if we were ready to start keeping the KIDS every weekend! She wants us to keep her 5 yo son from her 1st marriage too! She doesn't want to separate them! We very nicely told her no. We told her that we understood that he didn't understand and we didn't mind including him occasionally but not all the time. LOL
hurting

Wow, hurt! You sure have come a long way. Be sure to keep tight boundaries around OW or she will try to walk all over you.

Thank you Faithful I am really watching the OW. We just got back from our meeting with OW. All phone C takes place through me. We have a block on H's phone so she cannot call him. Just gets a message that says he is not taking calls. No meeting in person unless I am present. H told her she has to understand that there are no conversations taking place with her outside of my presence. He told her we act as one. We talk out all decisions etc...

She has tried to make me out to be the wicked step mom. That boat doesn't float. Her daughter came running to me tonight as soon as she got out of the vehicle and follows me everywhere!

This weekend we start having the OC EVERY weekend from 9:30 am Sun for church till about midnight Tues. night. H says soon we will keep her till Wed morning because it is ridiculous to switch her off in the middle of the night. Please note OW is NOT welcome in my home. WE take the child to the vehicle since PU is at our home because of the time. I am excited to have 3 days with her every week. That seems to be a pretty good visitation schedule for our area plus every other holiday and 6 weeks during the summer? Please tell me about your visitation schedules!

The OW works out of town for those 3 days. She works 2 16 hour shifts and an 8hr shift to get her 40hrs in 3 days. So the children were already with a babysitter for those times. She had the nerve to ask us to keep her 5 yo from a previous marriage too or she said we could only have her every other weekend. My H said No she is coming with us every weekend!

OW thinks I am making all the decisions which is not the case. H explained that we make all decisions together and I have to be completely comfortable since I was the one done wrong!

Any suggestions on visitation??? I'm all ears.

Hurting

Hello everyone! I have just been lurking here every once and awhile as I tried to deal with my situation. Some times I dwelled too much rather than focusing on recovering my marriage. I'm happy to say that a lot has happened in the last year. I think we went to court 4 times over OC. We won every time. The OW pulled the last straw when she disappeared last April with an Army man she met over the internet. She took the child with her of course against court order! She moved 1200 miles away so it was a bugger but we persevered and took her to court yet again. DH got Sole custody! OC has been with our family since November 1. She has melded into our family wonderfully. It has amazed me that she turned 3 several weeks after she came to stay with us and has never asked for her mother? She talks a mile a minute about everything else! One of the wonderful side effects is that I don't have to deal with OW all the time! Just phone calls some times. OW got very few visitation rights and all travel is at her expense:) OW is pregnant AGAIN much to her new husbands surprise since she told him she was unable to have more children too! So the focus seems to be shifting off of the oc. That's fine with me! If we never hear from OW again I would adopt OC:) Thank you to everyone that talked to me when I was in despair. This site was a God send and I want all of you to know that!

WOW!!!!! What an awesome update!!!! I would take my OC in a heartbeat as long as OW wasn't involved AT ALL! This gives me hope that it can happen even after some years have passed. Congrats to you!!!

Wow! You are an amazing woman and OC is very, very lucky to have you.

I am so glad for you and your family!

Awesome

Thanks for the wonderful update. It is so important that others see that the pain of having an OC can be turned into a blessing. Continued prayers for you and your family.

What wonderful news!!!
I know exactly how you feel about having little to know contact from OW.
Its been nearly 4 years since we have had contact from OW and Lil Bit has also stopped asking about her.
But of course, my Lil Bit is now 8. Its taken a while, but she has come to the conclusion on her own that she doesn't need her at all.

We've had sole Primary Custody since 2003 and it only gets easier with no contact from OW.
We have already passed the state required time frame for abandonment and IF we had the money we would certainly would file to remove OW's parental rights and I would adopt my sweet daughter in a heartbeat!!
She may not be mine in DNA but she is DEFINITELY MINE in EVERY other way!!!
I choke up some days when she slips up next to me and hugs me, or slips her hand into mine as we walk along in Wal-Mart.

It is a definite blessing for those of us that have custody of the OC when the OW just moves on with her life.
It was definitely an answer to prayer for me!
Our lives are much more peaceful!

(((((((hurtingmomof4)))))))

so very glad to hear such great news for you!!!!!!