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staying for the kids?
#2144262 10/18/08 05:10 PM
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ericgolfer
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ericgolfer
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How do men stay in a marriage when the wife is having an affair with a married co-worker when 3 kids are involved in a no fault state? I can't imagine abandoning my children and I know my wife can't either. Are any of you in this situation? How do you manage? Is it in the best interest of the kids?
Re: staying for the kids?
ericgolfer #2144265 10/18/08 05:17 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
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believer Offline
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The best thing for the kids is that you expose the affair to the OM's wife. That will most likely end the affair. Your situation is just like all of the others here. Don't try to make sense of nonsense.
Re: staying for the kids?
ericgolfer #2144310 10/18/08 08:19 PM
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mindshare Offline
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EG,

I tried to stay for my daughters but couldn't do it. Because my WW would not give up the A I got to the point where I could no longer go on. Don't kid yourself into thinking the kids don't know something is going on. I finally realized that it might actually be worse for the kids if I stayed with WW then if we separated.

I think staying for the kids is a good enough reason to give it a shot if you have a remorseful wayward that is in NC and you are working on recovery but if not, you just need to get to Plan B or Plan D.....

Mindshare
Re: staying for the kids?
ericgolfer #2144315 10/18/08 08:37 PM
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MelodyLane Offline
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Originally Posted by ericgolfer
How do men stay in a marriage when the wife is having an affair with a married co-worker when 3 kids are involved in a no fault state? I can't imagine abandoning my children and I know my wife can't either. Are any of you in this situation? How do you manage? Is it in the best interest of the kids?

Well, men shouldn't stay too long in a situation like that, lest they end up with a nervous breakdown. That is definitely not in the childrens best interest. Adultery is an extreme form of abuse that most people cannot endure for long.

What is suggested is men get a legal separation and get the ADULTEROUS wife moved out, keeping custody of the kids and the house. In fault states, they can cite adultery as the reason and even have the OM subpoenaed to court to be questioned under oath.

But, before that happens, the BS should do everything to kill the affair, such as exposure, etc. The children should also be told about the adultery so the WS does not lie to them about it.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101
Re: staying for the kids?
ericgolfer #2144327 10/18/08 09:07 PM
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TheRoad Offline
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Instead of starting new threads which do nothing. Do something, expose the OMW.
Re: staying for the kids?
TheRoad #2144660 10/19/08 06:15 PM
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ericgolfer
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hey Road, I'm new here brother. Just want to be sure of doing the right thing. There are times when my thinking is clear and times when I get irrational. I'm in a much better place than a month ago.
Re: staying for the kids?
ericgolfer #2144737 10/19/08 09:43 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
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TheRoad Offline
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I'm only a person that has been reading here for years.

I've seen countless new people let fear paralyze them.

I've seen countless people only come here and only looking to get affirmation for what they want to do. Not wanting to hear what they should be doing.

I've seen exposure work for years.

I'm not your brother.

Exposure works. What have you done since 10/18/08 06:10 PM?
Re: staying for the kids?
TheRoad #2144803 10/20/08 06:42 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
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Pariah Offline
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Pariah
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Eric, if you haven't exposed to OMW, his job, his parents, his church, your church, your family has zero chance.

This needs to be done TODAY.

Have you gathered ANY evidence yet?

You REALLY needed to have a voice activated digital recorder in her car at the first suspicions of the affair.

I guarantee she has a toxic cheerleading friend she is bragging to and they yak on the phone about it in her car.

I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top.
Re: staying for the kids?
Pariah #2144812 10/20/08 07:34 AM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 11,245
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catperson Offline
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Why are you not exposing? What are you afraid of?

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